Nov. 8, 2024

We're in Mar-a-lago with the other Podcast Elites. The NY Post put together a list of celebrities who said they might leave the county.

Show Notes
Transcript

We're in Mar-a-lago with the other Podcast Elites.

The NY Post put together a list of celebrities who said they might leave the county. I wonder if Trump has a post subscription. Well Don, you can always just listen to this podcast, you know I have your back, not like The Jimmys.

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Caalarogu Shark Media from the gold plated Podcast Center in

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mar A Lago, where winners, win and losers host TV

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shows at eleven thirty. This is valid. That's right.

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We're Pool's side living the life with Joe Schultz, THEO

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and the other podcast elites. It's a new dawn in America,

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so let's hit this. That loser, Jimmy Kimmel said, let

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me tell you that was the worst Taco Tuesday of

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my whole life. We had the choice between a prosecutor

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and a criminal, and we chose the criminal to be

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president of the United States. More than half of this

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country voted for the criminal who is planning to pardon

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himself for his crimes.

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Donald Trump is like the Emperor from Star Wars.

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He's old, he's evil, and he keeps coming back with

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no reasonable explanation whatsoever. Wow, timely rise of Skywalker joke there.

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Jim Kimmel said, it was a terrible night for everyone

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who voted against And guess what, it was a bad

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night for everyone who voted.

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For him too. You just don't realize it yet.

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Well, yeah, and it was bad night for anyone about

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to be sent to talk show host prison, but not me.

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Trump knows I'm loyal and never made fun of him,

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not even once, and poor Seth Myers watching him was

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like watching someone go through all five stages of grief

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in five minutes. He went from this is fine to

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all hail our Supreme Leader faster than Trump can post

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an all caps truth social rant. On the other hand,

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I think I was the first person to ever watch

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him and Jimmy fallon Man's throwing out one liners like

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he's trying to distract himself from his own existential crisis.

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America got back with their crazy X Yeah Jimmy, and

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just like getting back with an X, we all know

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exactly how this ends with deleted tweets and regret.

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The New York Post gets to stay in business.

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They provided a handy list of celebrities who said they

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would leave the country when Trump won, which.

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He did, so start packing.

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Well, folks, it looks like Hollywood's about to have its

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own version of Musical Chairs, except instead of chairs, it's countries,

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and instead of music, it's Trump's victory speech playing on repeat.

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America Ferrara is reportedly moving to the UK.

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I guess she figured if she can't beat Trump, she

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might as well live somewhere where the leader's hair makes

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slightly more sense. Though I have to say moving to

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the UK to escape political chaos is like moving to

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Florida to escape humidity. Sharon Stone says she's considering a

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house in Italy because nothing says I'm protesting American politics

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like sipping aparol sprits in a villa that costs more

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than most.

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Americans' lifetime earnings.

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Share claims she'll leave the country this time, which is

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what she said last time and the time before that.

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At this point, Cher has threatened to leave America more

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times than she's had farewell tours. Sophie Turner wants to

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get the fk out and move back to the UK, though,

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to be fair, after living through eight seasons of Game

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of Thrones, Trump's presidency probably seems like a relatively mild winter.

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Billie Eilish posted that It's a war on women, short, sweet,

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and probably written while wearing a five thousand dollars designer

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outfit that looks like it came from a dumpster.

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Very on brand.

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Christina Applegate's daughter is sobbing, Cardi b is down to

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her last warning cigarette, and Ariana Grande is holding virtual

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hands with her followers. It's like a really depressing episode

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of the View. But on social media, Man, I'm glad.

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I'm such a Trump supporter.

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Always have been.

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It's always great to be on the right side of

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history and broadcasting here from the podcast center in mar

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A Lago.

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But here's the thing.

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Every time a celebrity threatens to leave America, they usually

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end up staying longer than that one relative who says

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they're just visiting for the weekend. Remember when all these

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stars said they'd leave in twenty sixteen. Yeah, they're still here,

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probably because their assistants couldn't figure out how to pack

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their emotional support peacocks. So don't worry, folks, Hollywood isn't

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going anywhere. They'll all be back on Twitter tomorrow complaining

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about America from their Malibu mansions, because, let's face it,

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where else can you make millions by pretending to be

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other people while lecturing everyone about real life? Those losers.

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The Democrats are infighting now. The real question is, since

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they can't beat anyone, how will they beat themselves. Bernie

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Sanders is saying the party's too focused on identity politics, which.

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Is Bernie speak for I told you so.

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Meanwhile, other Democrats are having what they call morose team meetings,

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you know the kind where someone inevitably stress eats an

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entire sheet cake. The parties trying to figure out why

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voters rejected them harder than a vegetarian and a BBQ competition.

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Some blame misinformation, others blame strategy, but nobody's blaming the obvious.

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Maybe don't wait until your president is old enough to

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remember the invention of sliced bread to step aside, as

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Biden said, setbacks are unavoidable, but giving up is unforgivable.

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Howard University just hosted the Saddust party since my aunt's

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Celebrate your Divorce bash, where she just played I Will

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Survive on repeat for six hours.

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At least she showed up to her own party.

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Harris supporters started the night dancing like it was nineteen

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ninety nine and ended it looking like they just watched

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all eight seasons of Game of Thrones in one sitting.

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The campaign staff even started muting TVs showing the losing results.

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Because nothing says everything's fine, like pretending reality isn't happening.

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You know your campaign's in trouble when your victory party

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has more empty chairs than a Clint Eastwood speech at

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the Republican Convention. The mood went from yes, we can

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to know she didn't faster than you can say electoral college.

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And where was Kamala during all this? Taking the full

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twenty four hour approach to concession speeches. That's like ghosting

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someone and then texting we need to talk a day later.

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Even Hillary Clinton's watching this thinking, well, at least I

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showed up to my funeral. The campaign had planned for

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Harris to speak in front of Frederick Douglas Memorial Hall,

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but I guess they forgot the memorial part wasn't supposed

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to be for her campaign. Instead, they got a campaign

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co chair doing the political equivalent of your table's not

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quite ready yet. The only thing more awkward than this

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party was watching the staff desperately trying to keep spirits up.

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It's like watching someone try to save a surprise party

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after the birthday person saw all the cars parked outside.

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We all know how this ends, folks. At least some

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supporters are keeping perspective. As one student said, we've made

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it through four years before. Yeah, and my doctor says

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the same thing about my colonoscopy doesn't make it any

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more fun the second time around. It looks like we've

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got a real first in American history, our first president

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elect who's got more convictions than an evangelical preacher at

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a tent revival. Trump's gone from lock her up to

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raincheck on locking me up. And that's why I support

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Trump and always have. When he does something, he goes

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for it. That's why he has more convictions than anyone.

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Go high or go home, but don't go to jail

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because you stacked the court.

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Now that's smart.

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The November twenty sixth sentencing hearing far less likely to

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happen than Mexico paying for that wall, which would have

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been paid off for now if not for Kamala Harris.

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Legal experts are saying no reasonable judge would sentence a

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president elect, though to be fair, we've stretched the definition

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of reasonable pretty thin these last few years. You've got

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to appreciate the irony here. Trump's finally found a way

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to dodge court that doesn't involve bone spurs. His lawyers

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are probably drafting motions right now saying he's too busy

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with the presidential transition to show up because nothing says

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I'm innocent, Like sorry, can't make it to sentencing. I've

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got a country to run. Judge merchants got options, though.

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He could try to sentence Trump now and defer it

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until twenty twenty nine, which is like telling your kids

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just wait till your father gets home, but making them

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wait four years. Or he could put the whole thing

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on ice until Trump's out of office, sort of like

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putting justice in the world's longest microwave.

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And get this.

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Trump's lawyers are arguing that making him show up to

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court during the transition would impede the orderly transfer of power,

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because nothing says orderly transfer of power quite like a

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president elect with thirty four criminal convictions.

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Right. The best part, there's no playbook for this situation.

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It's like we're watching a game of legal Calvin Ball,

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where everyone's making up the rules as they go along.

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Though I guess that's fitting. Trump's been playing by his

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own rule book this whole time.

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Anyway.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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AI and DT. I like it here so much that

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I might even do an episode or two this weekend.

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Or maybe I'll just go golfing with Dana and JD.

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We'll see