Feb. 4, 2025

WAFFLE HOUSE EGG CRISIS + Biden's SECRET Hollywood Deal + Your Brain is Now 50% PLASTIC?

Show Notes
Transcript

Our brains are filling up with microplastics faster than a Kardashian's Instagram fills up with sponsored content! Plus, Waffle House adds a surcharge that has breakfast lovers scrambling, and Joe Biden signs with Hollywood's biggest agency - is "The Real Ex-Presidents of D.C." coming to streaming? Patrick Gutfield breaks down these stories and more in today's absolutely not-plastic-free episode. Warning: May contain traces of eggs, reality TV pitches, and concerning scientific developments about what's actually inside your head.

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Calaroga Shark Media.

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From Washington, DC, where that egg is going to cost

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you an extra fifty cents.

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This is ballot, that's right, but we'll all be.

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Dead soon from the microplastics in our.

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Brain, so who cares. Let's hit this Well.

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Looks like there's trouble at the All Night Kingdom of scattered, smothered,

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and covered. Waffle House is slapping a fifty cent surcharge

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on every egg they serve, which is really something when

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you consider they crack open two hundred and seventy two

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million eggs a year. That's more eggs than they serve

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hash browns or even waffles. The culprit behind this eggconomic

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crisis a particularly nasty strain of bird flu that's been

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wreaking havoc since January twenty twenty two. We're talking one

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hundred and eight million birds that have met their maker,

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with seventy five million of those being egg layers. And

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just when you thought things couldn't get worse, seventeen million

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more eggs laying hens got the ACXE in November and

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December alone. Now a dozen large eggs will set you

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back four dollars and fifteen cents, up from three dollars

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and sixty five cents in November, and according to the USDA,

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prices are expected to jump another twenty percent this year.

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The head of the American Egg Board says, we're stuck

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in this situation like a regular.

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At the counter at three am.

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You know it's serious when waffle House, the restaurant chains

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so reliable that FEMA uses their operating status to measure

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disaster severity has to start nickel and diming us on eggs.

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I guess we're all about to find out if sunnyside

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up is worth the upcharge.

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We'll all be dead soon anyway.

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Scientists just published a study in Nature Medicine showing our

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brains are collecting microplastics like their rare Pokemon cards. These

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aren't just hanging out in the cheap seats. They're getting

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past the blood brain barrier, which is supposed to be

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the bouncer keeping bad stuff out of our neural nightclub.

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The researchers looked at fifty two brain samples and found

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the contint tration went up fifty percent between twenty sixteen

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and twenty twenty four. That's right, our brains are now

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carrying around seven grams of plastic about the weight of

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a plastic spoon.

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And here's the kicker.

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The brains of people with dementia had three to five

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times more plastic than normal brains. You know what's really wild,

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there's no control group in this study, because, as the

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scientist put it, everyone is exposed. We're all walking around

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with heads full of plastic, like some kind of dystopian

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tupperware party. The plastic industry says they're working on it,

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which is what I tell my landlord when he asks

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about the weird smell coming from my apartment. Meanwhile, scientists

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are finding these particles in everything from our livers to

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our testicles, which really puts a damper on the whole

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Plastic is fantastic slogan. The latest trend in sobriety isn't

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just sparkling water with a splash of self righteousness.

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It's cannabis drinks, and.

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They're taking off faster than your ant Karen's Facebook post

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about her Essential oils business. These new beverages are popping

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up everywhere, from tap rooms to liquor stores, with THHC

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levels between one to ten milligrams per can, and according

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to market research, these drinks brought in three hundred and

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eighty two million dollars in sales last year. By twenty

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twenty nine, they're expecting that to nearly double to seven

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hundred and fifty million dollars. The funny part, the biggest

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customers aren't your typical stoners. They're soccer moms between thirty

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five and fifty five years old. I guess someone finally

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found a way to make those PTA meetings interesting. These

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drinks are actually be out selling bourbon and vodka at

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some stores in Minnesota.

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But here's where it gets tricky.

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Unlike alcohol, where you pretty much know what three beers

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will do to you, cannabis hits everyone differently. Five milligrams

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might have one person contemplating the meaning of life while

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another person's wondering why the drink isn't working and if

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you eat a fatty meal before and that THC is

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going to hit you like your mom's disappointment when you

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didn't become a doctor. Looks like Joe Biden's got himself

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a Hollywood agent. The Creative Artist Agency just announced they're

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representing our former commander in chief, and I'm already excited

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about the potential projects.

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Picture it. Who wants to be.

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A Secretary of Transportation, hosted by Joe Biden. Contestants for

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ten thousand dollars.

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What's the first thing you do when a bridge collapses?

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No malarkey and your answers please, Or maybe the Amazing

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Race presidential addition, where Joe challenges contestants to run up

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the air Force one steps faster than he can. Winner

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gets a cabinet position of their choice. CIA's already got

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the Obamas, and now they've added Joe to their roster.

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They even represent Joe Manchin, though his show would just

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be forty five minutes of him saying no to everything.

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This isn't Biden's first time with they repped him from

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twenty seventeen to twenty twenty when he released his book

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Promise Me Dad. But now that he's post presidency, the

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possibilities are endless. Maybe ice cream Shop Makeover with Joe

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Biden or aviators or not a dating show where Joe

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Judge's contestants solely based on their sunglasses game, though honestly,

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the most authentic show would just be Joe wandering onto

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other people's sets and telling stories about cornpop for twenty minutes.

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I'd watch that and look at that.

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We got through an entire episode without discussing mister T. No,

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not the mister T the other one. Portions of Today's

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program were made with the help of AI, CIA, THC,

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and waffle House.

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Just a typical three am run for some of us.

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I'm Patrick Gutfield and hit follow so you don't miss

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any episodes, or I will put a twenty five percent

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tariff on your podcast listening