March 10, 2025

Vance's Meme Wars and Trump's Soccer Diplomacy

Patrick Gutfield delivers hilarious takes on JD Vance's social media meme struggles, his hot mic moment during Trump's lengthy speech, the Cincinnati protest controversy, and Trump's bizarre claim that trade tensions with Mexico and Canada will make...

Show Notes
Transcript

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Callarogas shark media from Washington, d C.

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Where coffee is so expensive Congress is considering declaring it

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a luxury tax item. This is ballot, that's right, and

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there's a big election happening in Greenland. Let's hit this, Hi,

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I'm Patrick Gutfield. Vice President JD. Vance has been engaging

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with his own meme ification on social media. Yes, the

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man who is one heart beat away from the presidency

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is now posting memes of himself. Vance posted his face

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over that Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme from Once upon a

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Time in Hollywood, you know, the one where Leo gets

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excited recognizing something on TV. Except in this case, Vance

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was probably pointing at another meme of himself. But here's

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the thing, his self posted meme was actually flattering. Meanwhile,

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the rest of the internet has been absolutely brutal.

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Him with edits that make him look like a giant baby.

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We're talking cheeks so round they have their own zip code.

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There's one where Vance is at the White House with

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President Trump and Ukrainian President Zelenski, captioned you should have said, please,

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I haven't seen a grown man and fantialize this much.

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Since that time my cousin brought his new boyfriend to

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Thanksgiving and my aunt kept cutting his turkey for him.

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Some of these memes have Vance holding giant lollipops and

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wearing propeller hats.

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The man is forty years old.

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He's one of our youngest ever vice presidents, but these

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memes make him look like he's auditioning for the Boss

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Baby reboot. The memes aren't just from the left either.

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Right wing accounts are jumping on this bandwagon too. That

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cattered account, Yes, that's a real political influencer with nearly

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four million followers, called the memes hilarious American politics.

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In twenty twenty five.

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Ladies and Gentlemen singer Dejon Warwick even tweeted that Vance

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looks like but I'm sort of cabbage patch doll every

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time she opens the app. When Dion Warwick is roasting

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you online, you know things have gone sideways. People have

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seen so many distorted images that many can't even remember

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what the real JD. Vance looks like anymore. Though to

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be fair, most Americans couldn't pick the vice president out

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of a lineup even before he became a human meme.

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At least Vance is in good company. Former Vice President

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Harris had her own meme moments with her coconut tree

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quote and the whole Brat album thing being mimable might

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be the only bipartisan thing left in this country.

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Vice President JD. Vance just got caught saying.

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What we're all thinking during presidential speeches, Dear God, how

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long is this going to last? A hot Mike caught

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our esteemed VP chatting with House Speaker Mike Johnson before

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Trump's addressed to Congress on Tuesday, saying, by the way,

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I think the speech is going to be great, but

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I don't know how you do this for ninety minutes.

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Johnson then reached for the microphone faster than a dad

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lunging for the check at a restaurant. President Trump went

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on to speak for one hour and forty minutes, breaking

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Bill Clinton's record for the longest address to Congress.

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One hour and forty minutes.

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You could watch the entire movie Jaws and still have

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time to make a sandwich.

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Vice President JD.

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Vance had a run in with protesters in Cincinnati this weekend,

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and apparently there are two very different versions of what happened.

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It's like Rashamon, but with Ukraine flags and Secret Service agents.

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Vance claimed on social media that a group of pro

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Ukraine protesters followed him and his three year old daughter around,

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shouting Slava Ukrainian until his daughter grew increasingly anxious and scared.

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He said he agreed to speak with them if they'd

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leave his toddler alone.

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But here's where it gets interesting.

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One of the protesters, and Henry, told local news no

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one was chasing him. She even shared a three minute

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video of the interaction. Henry explained, they just happened to

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pass Vance while walking to a nearby protest. That's right.

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They weren't following him. They were just going in the

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same direction. It's like when you and a stranger both

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walk toward the same coffee shop door and you do

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that awkward dance trying to figure out who goes first.

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The video shows Vance surrounded by Secret Service agents because

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nothing says I'm approachable like a human shield of earpieces

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and dark suits, having what appears to be a mostly

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civil conversation about Ukraine policy. At one point, Vance actually

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admits Russia certainly invaded Ukraine in twenty twenty two, breaking

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from President Trump's recent claim that Ukraine started the war.

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That's like admitting water is wet while your boss is

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trying to convince everyone it's dry. Local news confirmed there

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was indeed a protest of thirty to forty people near

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Vance's Cincinnati home, but they were stationary at an intersection,

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holding signs and waving flags. Some drivers honked in support,

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while others got into heated arguments with Trump supporters. You know,

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just another peaceful Saturday in America. Conservative commentator Tim Miller

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didn't hold back, writing that Vance should be able to

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handle some yelling in a free country, given that dozens

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are dead in Ukraine because you stopped giving them intelligence

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that protected the country from bombs. So either protesters were

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chasing a toddler through Cincinnati or the Vice president of

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the United States exaggerated a chance encounter to gain sympathy.

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I don't know which is true, but I do know

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that in America, you're free to protest near the vice

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president's house, and the vice president is free.

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To post about it online.

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Democracy in action, one social media dispute at a time.

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Trump says trade tensions with Mexico and Canada will make

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the twenty twenty six World Cup more exciting because nothing

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gets soccer fans more pumped than geopolitical economic disputes. The

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President was asked about how the World Cup might play out,

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given he just slapped twenty five percent tariffs on goods

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from both co host nations. His response, Tension's a good thing.

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I think it makes it much more exciting. Yes, there's

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nothing soccer has been missing all these years, like a

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little economic warfare between the host countries. I can see

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the new marketing campaign now, World Cup twenty twenty six.

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Come for the soccer, stay for the trade disputes. Of course,

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Trump quickly exempted carmakers from these tariffs and signed an

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order exempting various other goods, so it seems the tension

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will be carefully curated, like putting on a horror movie,

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but keeping the remote handy so you can fast forward

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through the really scary parts. The President was speaking alongside

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FIFA President Gianni and Fantino while establishing a task force

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that he himself will chair. Because if there's one thing

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Trump knows, it's soccer. I hear his strategy for the

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US team is just to build a wall in front

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of the goal. Forty eight teams will compete in the tournament,

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with games in eleven US cities plus Toano, Vancouver, Mexico City, Guadalajara,

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and Monterey. The final will be at MetLife Stadium in

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New Jersey, which Trump is reportedly insisting on renaming the

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most tremendous stadium ever.

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Believe me, for the duration of the tournament, I'm just.

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Looking forward to when Trump tries to explain the offside rule.

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It's very simple. The player is offside when look. Nobody

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knows offside better than me. It's tremendous offside, the most

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offside you've ever seen. Portions of Today's show were made

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with the help of AI parody laws and the attacker

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receiving the ball behind the last defender or something.