May 21, 2024

Uncle Joe thinks he was VP during the pandemic

Uncle Joe thinks he was VP during the pandemic

Uncle Joe forgets when he was VP

RFK's address seems fishy

and Donald isn't going to like this new movie.

Uncle Joe forgets when he was VP

RFK's address seems fishy

and Donald isn't going to like this new movie.

WEBVTT

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Calarogu shark media from Washington, DC, where I might have been vice president

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in twenty twenty. Who can really
remember such things? This is ballid today.

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Uncle Joe thinks he was VP during
the pandemic. Rfk's home address is

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a little fishy and Trump. Well, let's try to keep this clean,

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Okay, let's hit this, oh
boy. President Biden erroneously claimed on Sunday

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he was still serving as vice president
during the COVID nineteen pandemic. Yes,

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because having been in office a mere
two years ago is just too recent for

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old Joe to keep straight. Apparently
speaking at a dinner for the NAACP in

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Detroit, Biden went on a tangent
proclaiming he was on the ground in the

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state to help out as the virus
raged on at the request of former President

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Barack Obama. And when I was
vice president, things were kind of bad

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during the pandemic, Biden said.
And what happened was Barack said to me

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go to Detroit and help fix it. I'm picturing Obama giving those orders from

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the bunker under the White House,
rambling feverishly about viruses in Detroit as Michelle

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slowly backs away. Well, the
poor Mayor, He spent more time with

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me than he thought he was ever
going to have to. God love you

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more like God, help me escape
this man's befuddled ramblings. Biden was referring

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to Detroit Mayor Mike Dugan, who
took office while Biden was still VP back

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in twenty fourteen. So close and
yet so far from actually making coherent sense.

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The scary part is this prolific ability
to fabricate entire fictional timelines is probably

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an asset for Biden on the campaign
trail. Just move that pandemic back a

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few years, toss in some made
up chats with Obama and boom instant inspiring

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tale about leadership and crisis. Why
bother with facts when you can just invent

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new realities wholesale. The new biopic
film The Apprentice, premiering at the cann

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Film Festival, depicts a fictionalized account
of an alleged nineteen eighty nine incident where

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Donald Trump supposedly assaulted his then wife
Evanna after she mocked his appearance. The

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scene shows Trump forcing Evanna to the
floor and raping her, asking did I

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find your g spot? In her
nineteen ninety divorce deposition Ivanna described a similar

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assault after Trump's scalp surgery, initially
using the term rape but later stating she

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didn't mean it literally or criminally.
Trump dismissed her claims as obviously false during

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their divorce proceedings. The film,
written by author Gabriel Sherman, portrays Trump

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being mentored by ruthless lawyer Roy Kohane, who advises him admit nothing, deny

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everything, which sounds like advice that
Donald may have taken to heart. Over

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twenty five women have publicly accused Trump
of sexual misconduct, which he denies.

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Last year, he was found liable
for sexually abusing writer E. Gene Carroll

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in the nineteen nineties. The Guardian
gave the film two stars out of five.

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Hey, if you don't want to
vote for a guy who can't remember

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when he was VP, or for
a guy that you know the stuff we

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just talked about, why not go
third party and vote for a guy who

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isn't sure where he lives. RFK
is really taking this every man of the

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people thing to new heights. The
multi millionaire anti vaxer has listed a swanky

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Westchester County mansion as his official voting
residence. There's just one little hiccup.

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The place is in foreclosure because the
actual owners haven't paid the bills. That's

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right. RFK Junior claims particular house
in the ritzy town of Katona is where

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he lays his head at night,
except the local cops were like, uh

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no, pretty sure that guy doesn't
live here. Even the neighbors say,

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mister clean vaccine hasn't darkened their doorstep
in ages. But the Kennedy campaign is

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adamant that foreclosed palace is one hundred
percent his official address. He gets his

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mail there, has his licenses there, maybe even an inflatable mattress stashed in

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the basement, though admittedly he's been
traveling in other states. His bro Dug

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backed him up, saying Bobby has
crashed at his buddy's crib on and off

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for years. Hey, he's not
just an everyman, he's an any vacant

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property man. It seems like Jimmy
Kimmel is finally letting the cat out of

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the bag about where he stands in
the upcoming presidential election. In a move

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that surprises absolutely no one, Kimmel
is set to host a fundraiser featuring President

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Biden and former President Obama because nothing
screams I'm not picking sides like cozying up

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to the Democratic Party's dynamic duo right
now. Kimmel's not one to be outdone,

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so he's bringing in the big guns, George Clooney and Julia Roberts.

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They'll be gracing the stage as special
guests, because what's a political fundraiser without

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a little Hollywood glitz and glamour.
Of course, Kimmel's no stranger to political

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drama. His name has been dropped
more times than a bad habit in Donald

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Trump's hush money trial in New York, much to the comedian's delight. And

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let's not forget the fact that both
Biden and O have graced the Jimmy Kimmel

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Live stage four times each. So
if you're looking to rub elbows with the

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rich and famous while supporting Biden's bid
for a second term, you better start

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saving your pennies. Tickets for this
star studded extravaganza start at a mere two

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hundred and fifty dollars and go all
the way up to a cool half a

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million, but hey, if you're
willing to shell out twenty five thousand or

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more, you'll get the chance to
snap a pick with Roberts and Clooney,

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and if you're feeling extra generous or
just have money to burn, dropping one

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hundred grand will earn you a photo
op with the two presidents themselves. Portions

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of today's program were created with the
assistance of AI back when I was vice

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president in twenty nineteen. I think, anyway, come by my house in

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Katona and we can talk about it.