Dec. 10, 2024

UFOs over New Jersey, Eric Adams called Thirsty

Show Notes
Transcript

Anyone seen the NJ Drones?

Anyone seen Biden's hair?!

Is Eric Adams thirsty?

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WEBVTT

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Calaruga Shark Media from Washington, DC, where Mac Davies is

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still sick and Joe Biden looks like he should be

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in an old man version of Kid and Play. This

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is Ballot with your guest host Patrick Gutfield.

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That's right, she is terrible but hot, and there's UFOs

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over New York and I ain't too surprised. Let's hit

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this well, folks. In a new low for New York

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City tourism, Washington Square Park hosted what might be the

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worst costume contest since someone showed up to a Halloween

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party as a tax audit. People gathered to mockingly celebrate

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a murder by dressing up like the murderer because apparently

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too soon isn't in the Greenwich Village Dictionary. The winner,

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rocking what he called his everyday assassin chic, took home

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fifty dollars, which won't even cover the therapy session he

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probably needs. Not that is insured will cover that anyway.

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New York Mayor Eric Adams, apparently auditioning for America's Got Pardons,

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has been spotted doing everything but sending Trump chocolate covered subpoenas.

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He's gone from Biden of Brooklyn to Trump's biggest fan.

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Faster than you can say federal indictment. The Trump team

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is finding this whole situation hilarious, treating Adams like that

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guy at the bar who keeps buying drinks for someone

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way out of his league. They're apparently taking bets on

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when Adams will start wearing a Maga hat to press conferences.

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Talk about a political glow up. Adams is so desperate

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he's even refusing to rule out switching to the Republican Party.

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That's like saying you might join the Yankees after spending

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your whole career with the Mets, except the Yankees, in

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this case are under federal investigation. Two. Trump's team is

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calling Adams thirsty. When the guys who invented Stop the

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Steal think you're trying too hard, it might be time

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to dial it back a notch. President Biden lit up

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more than just the National Christmas Tree. His hair decided

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to put on its own electrifying show. Looking like he

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just stuck his finger in a supernatural socket, Biden unveiled

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what can only be described as his new Ghost of

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Christmas future. Look, you know things are getting wild when

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the President of the United States is out here giving

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Andy Warhol a run for his money in the hair department.

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And let me tell you, this wasn't your typical presidential coof.

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We're talking full on Bill Murray and Kingpin meets Haunted

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Christmas Special. When Biden took off his cap, his hair

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stood so straight up the Secret Service briefly considered it

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a national security threat. The Press Corps was there, probably

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wondering if they'd accidentally wandered onto the set of a

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Charles Dickens adaptation. Biden, Ever, the jokester, looked at them

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and said, you're still here, which coincidentally is exactly what

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most Democrats are saying about his presidency. We've got breaking

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news from the North Pole. George Santos, the man who

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turned lying on his resume into an Olympic sport, made

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his triumphant return to Congress as Santos clause and talk

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about a costume change from fake Wall Street banker to

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fake Santa. At least this time he's honest about the disguise.

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Santos tweeted that he did not wake up in a

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jolly mood. Well, neither would you if you were facing

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six eight years of making license plates instead of making

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up licenses. Welcome back, folks to mysterious flying objects over

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New Jersey, which is either the world's worst tourism campaign

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or the best UFO movie never made. Residents across the

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Garden State have been reporting mysterious drones buzzing around like

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oversized mechanical mosquitos and not your average honey, I got

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a drone for Christmas models. We're talking about big boys

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that sound like Tesla's angry cousins. The FAA has banned

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these mystery drones from flying over Trump's golf club because

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apparently even aerial surveillance draws the line at watching people

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slice theirs into the rough. They're also causing trouble for

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medical helicopters, which is like the aerial equivalent of not

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letting an ambulance pass on the highway. The best part,

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government officials are giving us the classic nothing to see

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here routine while simultaneously having no idea what there is

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to see here. Governor Murphy says there's no known threat

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to the public, which is politicians speak for we're as

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confused as you are. One resident Kat Dunbar, first thought

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she was seeing a UFO, which honestly would have been

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easier to explain. The drones have been spotted near reservoirs,

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power lines, and railroads, suggesting either the world's most boring

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infrastructure documentary, or well, let's not go there. The Flora

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and Park police chief called their presence nefarious in nature,

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which is cops speak for this is giving me the creeps.

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And now they're spreading south like retired New Yorkers, showing

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up in Philadelphia suburbs and near the coast. Staten Island's

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getting in on the action too, with Burrough President Veto

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Pacella calling it odd and quite bizarre, which coming from

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Staten Island is really saying something. So there you have it, folks,

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New Jersey's latest aerial mystery. Is it foreign surveillance, domestic spying,

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or just Jeff Bezos testing out his latest delivery scheme.

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Portions of today's show were made with the help of

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ai UFOs Drones and George Santos