Oct. 1, 2025
Trump's Two N-Words
President Trump explains his nuclear nickname system at Quantico, posts a racist deepfake of Democratic leaders hours after a "serious" meeting, and announces a drug discount website called TrumpRx that won't exist until 2026.
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Kalaroga Shark media from Quantico where you don't want to
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say the N word. This is valid. Hold on a second,
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don't get us canceled. Let's hit this. I'm Patrick Guttfeld
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and President Trump gave a seventy two minute speech at
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Marine Corps based Quantico on Tuesday, and during his remarks,
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he decided to share his personal nickname for nuclear weapons,
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the N word, No, the other N word nuclear. Trump
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told the room full of military officers that Russian spokesperson
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Dmitri Medvedev had been throwing around nuclear threats about three
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months ago, so he moved a submarine or two over
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to the coast of Russia, you know, casual Tuesday activities,
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just parking a couple of nuclear submarines like their Honda Civics.
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The President explained his reasoning, we can't let people throw
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around that word. I call it the N word. There
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are two N words, and you can't use either of them. Now.
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I don't want to tell the President how to do
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his job, but maybe when you're find that there are
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two N words that nobody should use, you might want
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to reconsider using that particular letter as your go to
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abbreviation system. There are twenty five other letters available. I'm
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really hoping we use the I word. Trump went on
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to reassure everyone that if it comes down to it,
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we have more nuclear weapons than anyone else. We have
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better ones, we have newer ones, which is comforting in
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the same way it's comforting when someone says, don't worry,
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I have the newest flamethrower. I mean great, we can
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create more nuclear winter than the other guys. This isn't
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even the first time he's made this reference. Back in June,
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Trump posted on truth Social about Medvedev casually throwing around
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the N word nuclear. He even put an exclamation point
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in parentheses, which is a bold punctuation choice when discussing
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potential nuclear annihilation. Medvedev, for his part, had threatened to
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activate the Soviet Union's dead Hand doomsday nuclear system, a
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device that automatically launches nuclear weapons if it senses Moscow
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has been attacked. So we've officially entered the setate and
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forget it phase of nuclear deterrence, and on August first,
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Trump followed through, announcing he'd ordered two nuclear submarines to
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appropriate regions, which raises the question what makes a region
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appropriate for a nuclear submarine. Is there a zagat guide
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for this? President Trump met with House Minority Leader Hakeem
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Jeffries and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer at the White
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House on Monday for what attendees described as a serious
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and substantive conversation about avoiding a government shutdown. No deal
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was reached, but everyone agreed it was very productive and professional.
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Then a few hours later, Trump posted an AI generated
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deep fake video of the two Democratic leaders to social media.
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The video shows Jeffries wearing a sombrero, standing silently while
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mariachi music plays in the background. As a fake Schumer
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delivers a manufactured rant about giving health care to undocument
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and at immigrants so they'll vote Democrat. You know the
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kind of thing you post after a serious, substantive meeting
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on Tuesday morning, standing on the Capitol steps with dozens
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of House Democrats in less than fourteen hours before a
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potential government shut down. Jeffreys responded, Mister President, when I'm
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back in the Oval office. Say it to my face
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when I'm back in the Oval office is a pretty
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confident thing to say while standing outside during a funding crisis.
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But I respect the energy. Other House Democrats were equally
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thrilled about the video. Representative Gregory Meeks of New York said,
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I think that we are getting close to a constitutional
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problem because I think the President is sick. I think
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there's something wrong with the man really, which is a
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diplomatic way of saying what many people were probably thinking. Anyway,
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release the Epstein files be right back. President Trump announced
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on Tuesday that Pfizer has agreed to offer significantly discounted
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prescription drugs to American consumers, with some medications seeing price
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cuts of fifty to one hundred percent. The drugs will
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be available through a new federal government website called Trump
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RX Trump RREX not America RX, not US REX. Trump
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made the announcement in the Oval Office alongside Pfiser CEO
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Albert Borla, who explained what inspired this sudden attack of conscience.
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The President threatened one hundred percent tariffs on drugs made
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outside the United States. The President is absolutely right. Tariff
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is the most powerful tool to motivate behavior's, mister, President
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Borla said, and clearly motivated ours right. Yes, nothing screams
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we genuinely care about affordable healthcare. Quite like a CEO
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admitting you threatened to bankrupt us. So here we are
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very heartwarming, really tugs at the emotions. Borla called the
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old pricing system an unfair situation that Pfiser was now
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heroically reversing, which which is a fascinating way to describe
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decades of price gouging. Sorry about that whole charging you
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ten times what we charge Europeans. Thing are bad anyway,
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we'd like a parade now. Trump said this would save
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American consumers and taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars a year,
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which sounds impressive until you remember that pharmaceutical companies make
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hundreds of billions of dollars a year, so we're talking
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about them giving back roughly the amount they spend on
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office coffee. Portions of today's program were made with the
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help of RX and AI
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