Oct. 1, 2025

Trump's Two N-Words

Trump's Two N-Words
President Trump explains his nuclear nickname system at Quantico, posts a racist deepfake of Democratic leaders hours after a "serious" meeting, and announces a drug discount website called TrumpRx that won't exist until 2026.
WEBVTT

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Kalaroga Shark media from Quantico where you don't want to

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say the N word. This is valid. Hold on a second,

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don't get us canceled. Let's hit this. I'm Patrick Guttfeld

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and President Trump gave a seventy two minute speech at

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Marine Corps based Quantico on Tuesday, and during his remarks,

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he decided to share his personal nickname for nuclear weapons,

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the N word, No, the other N word nuclear. Trump

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told the room full of military officers that Russian spokesperson

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Dmitri Medvedev had been throwing around nuclear threats about three

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months ago, so he moved a submarine or two over

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to the coast of Russia, you know, casual Tuesday activities,

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just parking a couple of nuclear submarines like their Honda Civics.

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The President explained his reasoning, we can't let people throw

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around that word. I call it the N word. There

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are two N words, and you can't use either of them. Now.

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I don't want to tell the President how to do

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his job, but maybe when you're find that there are

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two N words that nobody should use, you might want

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to reconsider using that particular letter as your go to

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abbreviation system. There are twenty five other letters available. I'm

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really hoping we use the I word. Trump went on

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to reassure everyone that if it comes down to it,

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we have more nuclear weapons than anyone else. We have

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better ones, we have newer ones, which is comforting in

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the same way it's comforting when someone says, don't worry,

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I have the newest flamethrower. I mean great, we can

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create more nuclear winter than the other guys. This isn't

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even the first time he's made this reference. Back in June,

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Trump posted on truth Social about Medvedev casually throwing around

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the N word nuclear. He even put an exclamation point

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in parentheses, which is a bold punctuation choice when discussing

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potential nuclear annihilation. Medvedev, for his part, had threatened to

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activate the Soviet Union's dead Hand doomsday nuclear system, a

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device that automatically launches nuclear weapons if it senses Moscow

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has been attacked. So we've officially entered the setate and

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forget it phase of nuclear deterrence, and on August first,

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Trump followed through, announcing he'd ordered two nuclear submarines to

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appropriate regions, which raises the question what makes a region

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appropriate for a nuclear submarine. Is there a zagat guide

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for this? President Trump met with House Minority Leader Hakeem

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Jeffries and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer at the White

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House on Monday for what attendees described as a serious

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and substantive conversation about avoiding a government shutdown. No deal

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was reached, but everyone agreed it was very productive and professional.

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Then a few hours later, Trump posted an AI generated

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deep fake video of the two Democratic leaders to social media.

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The video shows Jeffries wearing a sombrero, standing silently while

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mariachi music plays in the background. As a fake Schumer

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delivers a manufactured rant about giving health care to undocument

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and at immigrants so they'll vote Democrat. You know the

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kind of thing you post after a serious, substantive meeting

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on Tuesday morning, standing on the Capitol steps with dozens

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of House Democrats in less than fourteen hours before a

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potential government shut down. Jeffreys responded, Mister President, when I'm

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back in the Oval office. Say it to my face

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when I'm back in the Oval office is a pretty

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confident thing to say while standing outside during a funding crisis.

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But I respect the energy. Other House Democrats were equally

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thrilled about the video. Representative Gregory Meeks of New York said,

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I think that we are getting close to a constitutional

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problem because I think the President is sick. I think

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there's something wrong with the man really, which is a

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diplomatic way of saying what many people were probably thinking. Anyway,

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release the Epstein files be right back. President Trump announced

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on Tuesday that Pfizer has agreed to offer significantly discounted

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prescription drugs to American consumers, with some medications seeing price

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cuts of fifty to one hundred percent. The drugs will

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be available through a new federal government website called Trump

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RX Trump RREX not America RX, not US REX. Trump

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made the announcement in the Oval Office alongside Pfiser CEO

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Albert Borla, who explained what inspired this sudden attack of conscience.

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The President threatened one hundred percent tariffs on drugs made

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outside the United States. The President is absolutely right. Tariff

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is the most powerful tool to motivate behavior's, mister, President

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Borla said, and clearly motivated ours right. Yes, nothing screams

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we genuinely care about affordable healthcare. Quite like a CEO

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admitting you threatened to bankrupt us. So here we are

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very heartwarming, really tugs at the emotions. Borla called the

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old pricing system an unfair situation that Pfiser was now

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heroically reversing, which which is a fascinating way to describe

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decades of price gouging. Sorry about that whole charging you

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ten times what we charge Europeans. Thing are bad anyway,

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we'd like a parade now. Trump said this would save

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American consumers and taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars a year,

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which sounds impressive until you remember that pharmaceutical companies make

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hundreds of billions of dollars a year, so we're talking

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about them giving back roughly the amount they spend on

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office coffee. Portions of today's program were made with the

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help of RX and AI