March 28, 2025

TRUMP'S TRILLION-DOLLAR TRIMMING! Musk's Master Plan, Greenland Heist, and Car Prices Set to EXPLODE!

Show Notes
Transcript

atrick Gutfield exposes the SHOCKING government cuts that will send thousands of federal employees packing! Plus, Elon's "DOGE Squad" promises to slash ONE TRILLION DOLLARS without affecting services (sure, Jan). Then, inside the Vances' CANCELED dogsled adventure in Greenland as Trump plots the ultimate real estate deal. And why your next car might cost TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS more thanks to new "permanent" tariffs! The government is shrinking faster than your wallet in this can't-miss episode of pure political chaos!

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Callaroga Shark Media.

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From Washington, DC, where car prices are up and the

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stock market is down.

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This is ballot which part of all that is great?

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Let's hit this Hi. I'm Patrick Gutfield.

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The Trump administration is preparing to slash between eight and

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fifty percent of federal employees across agencies. That's right, according

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to documents obtained by The Washington Post, we're looking at

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a government employee yard sale where everything must go. Housing

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and Urban Development might lose half its staff. That's four

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and fifty people. You know what that means. If you

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call HUD now, you'll get connected directly to Ben Carson's voicemail,

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which just plays a recording of him whispering houses for

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three minutes. The Interior Department would cut nearly one in

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four workers. Apparently Trump decided national parks should be like

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the wilderness, rarely populated and impossible to.

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Get help when you need it.

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And the irs they're looking at losing one in three employees.

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Trump figures if there's nobody left to collect taxes, he

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won't have to worry about releasing his returns.

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That's just smart business.

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The National Science Foundation faces a twenty eight percent cut.

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I guess they finally prove their hypothesis what happens when

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nobody funds science anymore? Turns out the answer is nothing good.

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The document shows the Education Department might cut staff by half.

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Just imagine school funding applications will now be decided by

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a magic eight ball with only two answers. Very doubtful,

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and ask again never. The White House claims this document

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is just a pre deliberative draft, which is political.

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Speak for oops.

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You weren't supposed to see our actual plans. Yet, if

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they were actual plans, we would have invited you to

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our group chat. Elon Musk went on Fox News yesterday

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to talk about his new government efficiency project, which has

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the totally serious and not at all ridiculous name of

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DOGE Service that stands for Department of Government Efficiency, even

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though it's not actually a department. It's like when I

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call my bedroom the Presidential suite. Sounds impressive, but it's

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just where I keep my socks. Musk announced he plans

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to cut one trillion dollars in federal spending per year.

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One trillion dollars.

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That's the kind of number Doctor Evil would ask for

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if he got an economics degree. And Musk claims they

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can do this without affecting any critical government services, which

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is exactly what I tell my barber right before he

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gives me a haircut that makes me look like I

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lost a fight with a lawnmower. Elon says this is

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just a fifteen percent reduction in total spending, which seems

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really quite achievable. Sure, and dating Scarlett Johansson also seems

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really quite achievable if you ignore all practical reality the

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way Colin Jills did.

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Let's break down these numbers.

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The government spends about one and a half trillion on

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social security, other one and a half trillion on Medicare

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and Medicaid, and one point seven trillion on military and

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debt interest. That leaves about one trillion indiscretionary spending. So

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Musk's plan is basically to eliminate everything else. I guess

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the national parks will now be sponsored by TESLA. Old

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Faithful is now new cybertruck. Musk showed up to the

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interview with seven of his doge pals, and they all

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had the look of tech bros who just discovered government

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work isn't like building an app. One of them, Steve said,

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stopping the country from going bankrupt is incredibly inspiring.

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Wow, what a visionary.

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Next he'll tell us that not being on fire is

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a good career goal. Musk calls this whole thing a

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revolution that might be the biggest revolution.

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In government since the original Revolution.

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Right, because nothing says seventeen seventy six like a billionaire

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with nine different companies deciding how much the government should

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spend on school lunches. Musk promised, We're going to make

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sure that the website stays online. Wow, setting the bar

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really high there, Elon. Meanwhile, the Vance's Greenland adventure has

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a new itinerary.

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Second.

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Lady Usha Vance was supposed to visit Greenland this week

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to watch a dog sled race, but suddenly those plans changed.

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Now Vice President JD.

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Vance is tagging along for a one day tour of

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a US space base.

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Instead.

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Nothing says romantic getaway like ballistic missile defense systems. JD

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announced he was joining on X, saying, there was so

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much excitement around Usha's visit to Greenland that I decided

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I didn't want her to have all that fun by herself.

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Yeah, because when.

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I think fun, I immediately think isolated Arctic military installation.

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That's why Disney never built missile defense land. Too many

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people would want to go. The backdrop to all this

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is that Trump has been saying America needs to get

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Greenland one way or another, which sounds less like foreign

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policy and more like something you to hear in a

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heist movie or a Blondie song. The diamond is in Greenland,

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and we're gonna get it one way or another. Trump

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already sent his son Junior there in January, where he

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handed out free food and Maga hats, because nothing says

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we respect your sovereignty like treating a whole country like

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a campaign stop in Iowa. As crazy as this all sounds,

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it turns out Greenland has everything you need to make smartphones,

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batteries and electric vehicles. Who knew the key to twenty

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first century technology was buried under all that ice. It's

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like finding out your awkward cousin who collected stamps is

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secretly sitting on a bitcoin fortune. A Danish parliament member

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said if the Vans had gone through with the original visit,

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they would have faced demonstrators with banners yelling Yankees go home,

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which means the Danes are using the same chance as

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Mets fans. It's actually the nicest protest chant I've ever heard.

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Usually they're much.

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More creative with what they want you to do and

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where they want you to go. JD.

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Vances said, we want to.

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Reinvigorate the security of the people of Greenland because we

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think it's important to protecting the security of the entire world. Translation.

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Nice country you got. There would be a shame if

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something happened to it. The funniest part the fleet of

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vehicles meant to drive Usha around the Capitol are now

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being flown back to the US. I guess nobody told

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them you can't really do a motorcade in a place

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where dog sleds are the main transportation, sir. The beast

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keeps getting stuck in snowdrifts and the Secret Service agents

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are being outrun by huskies. Trump just announced to twenty

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five percent tariff on imported cars and parts. When asked

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if this might be temporary, Trump said, oh, this is permanent, yeah,

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one hundred percent.

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Yeah.

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That's how you know a policy is well thought out

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when it sounds like someone confirming plans for happy Hour,

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And by permanent he means until President News gets rid

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of them and renames the Gulf of America.

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Trump claims people.

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Will be pleasantly surprised by these tariffs. Yeah, in the

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same way you're pleasantly surprised when you check your bank

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account after a night out and discover you bought drinks

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for the entire bar. The experts say prices on all

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vehicles will rise because turns out every single car sold

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in America has at least some parts from other countries.

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Even Tesla, which Trump loves to talk about, gets.

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Parts from overseas.

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The auto industry is more international than the cast of

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The Bachelor. According to economic analysts, these tariffs could increase

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the average price of a new car by anywhere from

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four thousand to ten thousand dollars, and electric vehicles add

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twelve thousand or more.

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To the sticker price.

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That's not a tariff, that's a down payment on a

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second car.

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And this isn't great timing.

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Car buyers are already dealing with high interest rates and

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prices that make you wonder if each vehicle comes with

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its own iv at Island. Now we're adding tariffs to

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the mix. That's like telling someone with a broken leg

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good news. We're also going to break your arm to

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distract you from the pain. Trump initially gave a month

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long exemption to some car manufacturers, but then decided, nah,

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let's just do this now. And the stock market just

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loves such uncertainty. The car shopping experts say, if you

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need a car now, don't wait by before these tariffs

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kick in. But if you're just casually shopping, maybe hold

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off to see how the market adjusts. It's like dating advice.

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If you've found the one, lock it down. If you're

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just swiping on apps, maybe wait until the economy isn't

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having a midlife crisis. Also, I can tell you from experience,

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make sure your car has real headlights. Those fake ones

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look good, but they aren't as much fun to touch.

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Portions of today's show were made with the help of

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Jdai and Double d's