Sept. 11, 2025

Trump’s Seafood Stunt, iPhone Air Gets Skinny, and Doctors vs. Bureaucrats on Vaccines

Show Notes
Transcript

President Trump tries to prove D.C. is safe with a crab dinner—protesters say otherwise. Apple unveils the wafer-thin iPhone Air and a sleep-shaming Apple Watch. And doctors battle government red tape over who should get the COVID vaccine. It’s politics, tech, and medical drama with a side of sarcasm on Ballot.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:03.160 --> 00:00:10.439
Calaruga Shark media from Washington, DC, a city so safe

2
00:00:10.519 --> 00:00:13.240
that protesters can get within ten feet of the president

3
00:00:13.279 --> 00:00:17.199
eating seafood. This is ballid. That's right, and there are

4
00:00:17.239 --> 00:00:21.160
new iPhones for you to download podcast onto. Let's hit

5
00:00:21.199 --> 00:00:26.519
this Hi, I'm Patrick Gutfield, and President Trump decided to

6
00:00:26.559 --> 00:00:29.480
prove Washington, d C. Was safe by walking one tenth

7
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:31.800
of a mile from the White House to dinner, which

8
00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:34.520
is roughly the distance most people travel to check their mailbox.

9
00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:38.000
He made it to Joe's Seafood, Prime Steak and Stonecrab

10
00:00:38.119 --> 00:00:40.359
before protesters showed up to remind him that maybe his

11
00:00:40.439 --> 00:00:44.119
victory lap was a bit premature. Free DC, they shouted,

12
00:00:44.359 --> 00:00:48.679
Free Palestine. Trump is the hitler of our time, which

13
00:00:48.719 --> 00:00:51.280
is not exactly the kind of dinner reception you want

14
00:00:51.399 --> 00:00:54.399
when you're trying to demonstrate how beloved and successful you are.

15
00:00:55.119 --> 00:00:58.600
Trump told reporters, we're standing right in the middle of DC.

16
00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:01.600
This was one of the most unsafe cities in the country.

17
00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:05.680
Now it's as safe as anywhere in the country. He

18
00:01:05.799 --> 00:01:08.799
said this while being actively protested by people who clearly

19
00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:11.439
didn't get the memo about how safe and peaceful everything was.

20
00:01:11.519 --> 00:01:14.920
Now the whole thing was supposed to be Trump's big moment,

21
00:01:15.159 --> 00:01:17.719
showing off his federal crackdown on crime in the Capitol.

22
00:01:18.439 --> 00:01:21.239
He deployed the National Guard last month, even though crime

23
00:01:21.319 --> 00:01:24.760
was already falling. This was Trump's first restaurant meal in

24
00:01:24.879 --> 00:01:29.120
Washington since returning to office in January. During his first term,

25
00:01:29.120 --> 00:01:31.480
he used to eat at his own Trump International Hotel,

26
00:01:31.879 --> 00:01:34.959
but that closed in twenty twenty two, so now he

27
00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:36.959
has to eat at places that aren't named after him,

28
00:01:37.120 --> 00:01:40.120
which must be a real adjustment. He brought quite the

29
00:01:40.239 --> 00:01:44.159
entourage Vice President j. D Vance, Secretary of State Marco Rubio,

30
00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:48.719
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, and other top officials. They

31
00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:53.719
ate crab, shrimp, salad, steak, and dessert. Press Secretary Caroline

32
00:01:53.799 --> 00:01:57.359
Levitt said the food was phenomenal and the service was fantastic,

33
00:01:57.799 --> 00:02:00.400
which is the kind of review you give when you're

34
00:02:00.439 --> 00:02:05.000
trying very hard not to mention the protesters outside. Trump

35
00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:08.039
has been venturing out more lately. He went to the

36
00:02:08.120 --> 00:02:10.759
US Open on Sunday, where he got a mix of

37
00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:14.719
booze and cheers. He's planning to attend a Yankees game

38
00:02:14.759 --> 00:02:18.800
today for the September eleventh anniversary. Because nothing says, remembering

39
00:02:18.840 --> 00:02:22.000
a national tragedy quite like a presidential photo op at

40
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:26.000
a baseball game. The irony is that close confrontations with

41
00:02:26.039 --> 00:02:29.639
protesters are rare for Trump, precisely because he usually stays

42
00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:32.919
at the White House or his private clubs in Florida, Virginia,

43
00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:36.639
or New Jersey. So when he finally decides to prove

44
00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:39.840
how safe DC is by walking two blocks to dinner,

45
00:02:40.199 --> 00:02:43.879
he immediately runs into people yelling at him. It's like

46
00:02:43.960 --> 00:02:47.120
claiming your neighborhood is perfectly quiet and then setting off

47
00:02:47.159 --> 00:02:51.960
fireworks to prove it. Apple had their big September show

48
00:02:51.960 --> 00:02:54.240
and tell, and this year they decided to answer the

49
00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:57.280
question nobody was asking, what if we made a phone

50
00:02:57.360 --> 00:03:00.879
so thin it could slide under a door. Enter the

51
00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:04.400
iPhone Air zero point two to two inches thick and

52
00:03:04.520 --> 00:03:07.879
zero point three six pounds, which is basically what would

53
00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:11.039
happen if a phone went on a juice cleanse. They're

54
00:03:11.039 --> 00:03:14.599
calling it their thinnest iPhone ever, powered by something called

55
00:03:14.599 --> 00:03:18.599
the A nineteen pro chip. But here's the tradeoff. You

56
00:03:18.680 --> 00:03:23.759
get exactly one camera on the back one. Apple looked

57
00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:27.080
at their flagship phones with their triple camera systems and said,

58
00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:30.919
you know what, Let's go the other direction entirely. The

59
00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:34.159
iPhone Air costs one thousand dollars, which feels like a

60
00:03:34.199 --> 00:03:36.560
lot to pay for something that might get lost between

61
00:03:36.599 --> 00:03:40.879
your couch cushions. Meanwhile, the iPhone seventeen pro got a

62
00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:45.439
complete redesign. They switched from titanium back to aluminum, which

63
00:03:45.479 --> 00:03:47.599
is like trading in your luxury car for a really

64
00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:51.800
nice bicycle. Apple claims the new ceramic shield two coating

65
00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:55.520
makes it four times more crack resistant, which sounds impressive

66
00:03:55.599 --> 00:03:58.360
until you remember that most people still put these things

67
00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:01.319
in cases that look like they could a nuclear blast.

68
00:04:02.199 --> 00:04:05.479
The Apple Watch Series eleven can now detect high blood

69
00:04:05.479 --> 00:04:09.560
pressure and give you a sleep score out of one hundred. Finally,

70
00:04:09.599 --> 00:04:11.680
a device that can tell you both that you're stressed

71
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:14.520
and that you're not sleeping well. Hopefully you can also

72
00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:16.839
post a truth social at two in the morning using it.

73
00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:20.040
But the real star might be the AirPods Pro three,

74
00:04:20.319 --> 00:04:24.040
which offer live translation. You can now listen to someone

75
00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:27.199
speaking French and hear it translated into English in real time.

76
00:04:27.720 --> 00:04:31.439
This is either going to revolutionize international communication or create

77
00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:36.319
some truly spectacular misunderstandings. I Love you might come out

78
00:04:36.360 --> 00:04:39.600
as I love your shoes, and suddenly you're in a

79
00:04:39.720 --> 00:04:43.720
very awkward situation in Paris. All of this technology launches

80
00:04:43.720 --> 00:04:46.920
on September nineteenth, which gives you exactly enough time to

81
00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:49.120
figure out if you really need a phone that's thinner

82
00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:52.240
than a magazine, or if maybe, just maybe your current

83
00:04:52.240 --> 00:05:00.040
phone works fun. So the government says, hey, mayb I

84
00:05:00.120 --> 00:05:02.519
me just the old people in sick people need the

85
00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:06.399
COVID vaccine now, and the doctors are like, actually, how

86
00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:09.839
about everyone. What we have here is a classic case

87
00:05:09.839 --> 00:05:14.560
of medical professionals versus bureaucrats. The American Academy of Family

88
00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:18.279
Physicians is out here saying, listen, we've seen this movie before.

89
00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:22.360
Vaccines work. Let's not get cute about it. Meanwhile, the

90
00:05:22.439 --> 00:05:25.560
FDA is doing that thing where they're like, well, technically,

91
00:05:25.759 --> 00:05:28.160
if you really think about it, maybe we can be

92
00:05:28.279 --> 00:05:32.519
more selective this time. It's giving me very much. Mom

93
00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:35.360
says we can have ice cream for dinner, but Dad says,

94
00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:39.920
only after vegetables energy, except instead of ice cream, it's

95
00:05:39.959 --> 00:05:45.480
preventing a global pandemic, and instead of vegetables, it's well, actually,

96
00:05:45.519 --> 00:05:49.079
I'm not sure what the vegetables are in this analogy, bureaucracy,

97
00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:53.959
red tape, the crushing weight of political consideration. The American

98
00:05:53.959 --> 00:05:57.639
Academy of Pediatrics jumped into basically saying, yeah, we're with

99
00:05:57.720 --> 00:06:00.519
the family doctors on this one. Then the American College

100
00:06:00.519 --> 00:06:04.959
of Obstetrics and Gynecology piled on with pregnant people definitely

101
00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:07.959
need this shot. So now we have this situation where

102
00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:10.959
you're actual doctor, the person who went to medical school

103
00:06:11.240 --> 00:06:14.279
and sees patients all day is telling you one thing,

104
00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:18.199
and the government agency is telling you something else. The

105
00:06:18.279 --> 00:06:21.600
Department of Health and Human Services responded by essentially saying

106
00:06:22.439 --> 00:06:24.759
we're sticking with our science committee, thank you very much.

107
00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:28.480
You know what this reminds me of when you're a

108
00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:30.399
kid and you ask your mom if you can stay

109
00:06:30.480 --> 00:06:32.839
up late. She says no, So you go ask your

110
00:06:32.920 --> 00:06:35.319
dad and he says yes, and then your mom finds

111
00:06:35.319 --> 00:06:38.720
out and there's this whole thing about unified parenting decisions.

112
00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:42.519
Except in this case, one parent has a medical degree

113
00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:45.079
and the other parent has a government job, and we're

114
00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:47.839
all just standing here like, can someone please just tell

115
00:06:47.920 --> 00:06:50.920
us what to do about the plague. The doctors are

116
00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:53.560
basically saying, look, we've been doing this vaccine thing for

117
00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:57.360
a while now it worked pretty well with polio and smallpox.

118
00:06:57.399 --> 00:07:00.959
Maybe let's not overthink this one, which it feels reasonable,

119
00:07:01.319 --> 00:07:03.839
But hey, what do I know. I'm just a guy

120
00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:07.079
making jokes about medical policy disagreements in a podcast with

121
00:07:07.240 --> 00:07:08.240
jokes written by Ai