April 18, 2025

Trump's 'Perfect' Health Report, White House Weird Art, and Bill Maher's MAGA Dinner

Show Notes
Transcript

Patrick Gutfield delivers scorching takes on President Trump's miraculous health exam claiming he could outlive dinosaurs, the bizarre new White House decor, Bill Maher's controversial dinner date with the president, and how Trump's twelve Diet Cokes a day are driving White House chefs to culinary deception. Join Gutfield as he slices through political absurdity with the sharp wit that made him America's favorite truth-teller!

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Callaroga Shark media from Washington, d C. Where a cheeseburger

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is a gourmet meal. This is ballot.

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Not only that, but cheeseburgers are the backbone of a healthy,

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nutritious diet.

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Let's hit this, hi.

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I'm Patrick Gutfield, and the White House released President Trump's

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annual physical exam results and spoiler alert, he is apparently

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the peak of human evolution at seventy eight years old.

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His doctor, Navy Captain Sean Barbabella, declared Trump remains in

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excellent health and exhibits excellent cognitive and physical health. The

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report even cites Trump's frequent victories in golf events as

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proof of his vigor. The president scored a perfect thirty

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out of thirty on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment. That's the

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test where they ask you to draw a clock and

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repeat sentences. According to the report, Trump weighs two hundred

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and twenty four pounds, which is nine pounds heavier than

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his Fulton County jail booking weight from twenty twenty three,

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so he's actually gained the reverse of the prison weight

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loss program. That's what happens when you go from hail

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food back to a steady diet.

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Of McDonald's and ice cream.

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The medical report also notes that Trump has been treated

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for high cholesterol, skin damage from sun exposure, seasonal allergies

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in something called diverticulosis, which sounds like either a dinosaur

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or a spell from Harry Potter. What's fascinating is how

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his LDL cholesterol dropped from one hundred and forty three

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and twenty eighteen to.

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Just fifty one.

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Now that's not just improvement, that's cholesterol time travel. Cardiologists

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who previously warned he was at risk of a heart

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attack are presumably checking their medical licenses right now. The

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White House didn't mention if doctor Barbabella would be available

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for questions, unlike previous Trump physicians, who definitely never exaggerated anything.

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Remember doctor Ronnie Jackson claiming Trump could live to be

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two hundred if he had a better diet, or that

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other doctor who admitted Trump dictated his own glowing health letter,

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or doctor Conley who misled the public about Trump's COVID condition.

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To keep the vibes upbeat.

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So there you have it, According to this totally objective

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medical report, our seventy eight year old, fast food loving,

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five hour sleeping president is basically Captain America. Bill Maher

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had dinner with President Trump at the White House, and

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apparently some people are more upset about this than when

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they found out pineapple on pizza was a thing. During

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last week's episode of Real Time, Mar told his audience

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he had a gracious and measured dinner with Trump, Kid Rock,

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and UFC head Dana White. Now there's a dinner party

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that sounds like the setup to a joke where the

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punchline is America. Mar actually said, and I swear I'm

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not making this up, that Trump's White House isn't as

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messed up as he thought it would be, and he

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seemed genuinely surprised that Trump was willing to accept him

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as a possible friend even though he's not maga, because

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nothing says bipartisanship like breaking bread with someone who spent

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years comparing you to an orange dictator. But Washington Post

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columnist Josh Rogan wasn't having any of it. During the

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panel discussion, he told Mar he'd fallen into the trap

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and was basically a prop in Trump's pr stunt. That's

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when things got spicier than the Oval Office Taco bulls.

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Mar fired back, you don't have to patronize me. Dude,

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I don't know you. I've never met you. When Rogan

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tried talking over him, Mar hit him with, what is

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the alternative to not talking? Just sit at your lunch

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table and don't talk to anybody. It was like watching

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a high school cafeteria standoff, except everyone was over sixty.

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Thankfully. Piers Morgan yes that.

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Piers Morgan jumped in to defend Mar, arguing that social

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media has created tribal fury where everyone has to pick

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a side, which is rich coming from a guy who's

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entire career is based on picking fights with celebrities on Twitter.

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So there you have it. Bill Maher had dinner with

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Trump and now everyone's mad. Just another normal day in

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American politics. The White House has some new decorps, and

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it's exactly what you'd expect from a man who once

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put his name on stakes. Trump has installed a painting

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of his assassination attempt, right where Obama's portrait used to hang.

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You know how some people.

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Have a photo of their wedding day or their kids

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graduation in their living room, Well, Trump has a painting

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of himself with a bloody ear and a fist in

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the air. It's like if your uncle replaced the family

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Christmas photo with a picture of the time he survived

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a fishing accident. The White House ex account proudly shared

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this decorating update with.

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A video that basically says, look what we hung up.

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Everybody and the Internet responded exactly how you'd imagine. One

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person wrote, Maga is never beating the cult allegations, which

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is fair. Another commentar pointed out, you don't even have

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to be involved or like politics to just know how

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weird this is true.

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This transcends politics.

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It's just objectively strange to commemorate the day you almost

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die by hanging up artwork of it where your guests.

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Can see it.

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And my personal favorite response was from someone who noted,

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crash the economy out of pure stupidity, and Trump's first

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move is to try to own the Libs with tacky artwork.

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Working for President Trump is apparently like being a personal

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chef for a five year old with unlimited power. Former

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White House chef Andre Rush recently spilled the beans on

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what it's like cooking for our commander in chief. And

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let me tell you, Gordon Ramsey would have quit on

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day one. According to chef Rush Trump's infamous diet coke

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habit isn't just some liberal myth. The man reportedly downs

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up to twelve cans a day.

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Twelve.

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That's not a beverage preference. That's a lifestyle commitment. And

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that button we all heard about that summons diet coke

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on demand one hundred percent real. I'm surprised the nuclear

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codes aren't diet and coke. Rush called Trump the hardest

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president to cook for, which is saying something considering the

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White House has fed presidents for over two centuries. The

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problem zero culinary adventure. While Obama would try anything, cooking

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for Trump and Millennia was black and white, much like

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their approach to redecorating the White House Christmas displays, the

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chef had to get creative, secretly slipping healthier ingredients into

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Trump's favorite foods. Trump wants a burger, Chef Rush would

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sneak in some turkey meat, swap pork bacon for beef bacon,

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and serve sweet potato fries instead of regular. It's like

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feeding vegetables to a toddler by hiding them in mac

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and cheese, except the toddler can start a trade war.

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What's most concerning is that Rush described the process as

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manipulating the president's food.

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That's right.

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We've reached the point where even the president's hamburgers involved

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political strategy, the art of the meal, and all. This

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explained so much about that time Trump served cold fast

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food to those college athletes at the White House. It

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wasn't a budget issue during the government shutdown. He genuinely

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thought that was fine dining. Portions of today's show were

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made with the help of Ai Diet Coke and the

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Portrait of Dorian Gray.