Jan. 10, 2025

Trump's Historic Virtual Sentencing, Awkward Funeral Reunions, and Biden's Final Confessions

Show Notes
Transcript

Join Patrick Gutfield for a landmark day in American history. We're breaking down President-elect Trump's unprecedented virtual sentencing in Manhattan - the first criminal sentencing of any American president. Plus, all the uncomfortable handshakes and cold shoulders from Jimmy Carter's funeral, where Karen Pence's snub of the Trumps went viral. Then, President Biden's revealing exit interview where he admits he could have won reelection but wasn't sure about serving until age eighty six. And because apparently running the country isn't enough, Trump's back to house hunting - this time for Greenland. Today's episode captures twenty four hours of American politics at its most surreal, from courtroom Zoom calls to funeral side-eyes, and everything in between.

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Callaroga Shark media from Washington, DC, where Obama and Donald

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are buddies and Kamala is having none of it. This

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is ballot, that's right. It's a busy Friday where Donald

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Trump is making history again. He's becoming the first American

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president to be criminally sentenced. So let's hit this. Trump

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is appearing virtually in a Manhattan courtroom this morning, which

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is perfect because nothing says taking it seriously like getting

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sentenced for thirty four felonies over zoom. It's like getting

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fired from your job in a group text. The whole

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thing started with hush money to Stormy Daniels, then morphed

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into falsifying business records, and now we're here watching a

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future president get sentenced ten days before his inauguration. That's

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like getting a speeding ticket on your way to pick

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up your Safe Driver award. The Supreme Court, which usually

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treats Trump like their favorite grandson who just needs structure,

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actually told him nah when he tr to delay the

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sentencing even They were like, Donald, we can only reschedule

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this parent teacher conference so many times. Now He's not

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going to jail because that would be awkward. Instead, he's

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getting what's called an unconditional discharge, which is basically a

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judge's way of saying, you're guilty, but what are we

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supposed to do? Ground the president? And the best part,

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Trump's been calling this whole thing a witch hunt led

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by Democrats. Though to be fair, this is the first

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witch hunt in history where the witch actually wrote down

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what they did and filed it with their accountant. So

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while most of us are having our second cup of coffee,

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Trump will be making presidential history from what I assume

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is a golden computer somewhere in mar A Lago. Meanwhile,

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you know who had the most awkward reunion since my

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parents at my high school graduation, Donald Trump and Mike

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Pence at President Carter's funeral. These two hadn't seen each

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other in nearly four years, that's the length of an

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entire presidential term, or, as Trump calls it, a warm up.

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So picture this scene at the National Cathedral. Pence, ever,

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the polite midwesterner, stands up to shake hands with Trump.

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It was about as warm as a Minnesota january. They

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both had faces stiffer than Pence's hairspray. Trump barely stopped

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walking he gave that handshake the same attention span he

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gives to reading intelligence briefings. Now, Karen Pence, she stayed

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in her seat, suddenly finding the cathedral ceiling absolutely fascinating.

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She wouldn't make eye contact with the Trumps. Can't blame her.

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The last time these families got together, people were literally

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chanting about hanging her husband, and Trump's response to hearing

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his VP was in danger, So what, which coincidentally is

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also his response when asked about the Constitution. When asked

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about the hang Mike Pence chance later, Trump said, well,

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the people were very angry. Really, that's his defense. That's

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like saying, well, the bear was very hungry after eight

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your camping buddy, You've got to hand it to Mike Pence.

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Though the man still stood up and shook hands. That's

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Midwestern nice taken to an Olympic level. He probably even

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whispered bless your heart, which, as we all know, is

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Christian for go kick rocks. The guest list read like

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a White House Greatest Hits album. You had Biden, Trump, Obama, Bush,

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and Clinton all in one room, which is either the

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setup to history's most complicated joke or the world's tensest

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dinner party. Now when Obama walked in solo, no Michelle.

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This time, everyone stood up to say hello like proper gentleman.

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Everyone except Donald Trump, who apparently thought this was one

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of those Catholic masses where you get to stay seated,

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but then plot twist the moment Obama sits next to him,

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Trump turns into a chatty Cathy. These two were talking

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like they were catching up on their favorite Netflix shows.

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Trump and Obama having a friendly chat. That's the kind

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of plot twist m Night Shyamalan wishes he could write.

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It's even more surprising than the time George W. Bush

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learned how to pronounce nuclear correctly, and speaking of Trump,

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he went from won't stand up to won't shut up

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faster than you can say peaceful transfer of power. The

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man who spent years claiming Obama wasn't born in America

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suddenly acted like they were college roommates catching up at

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the reunion. You know things are weird when Barack Obama

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and Donald Trump are having the best time at a funeral.

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They were over there giggling like two kids at the

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back of a church, probably ranking presidents by haircut or something. Meanwhile,

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Al Gore was giving Trump the kind of death stare

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usually reserved for people who don't recycle. The Clinton spent

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the whole time talking to each other, which makes sense

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because Hillary probably didn't want to risk making eye contact

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with anyone and having to explain her emails again. And

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Bush he's just going around giving people belly taps like

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some sort of presidential Pillsbury Doboy. But the real MVP

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was Jason Carter, who basically turned his grandfather's eulogy into

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a stand up set. He's up there like my grandfather

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was basically a millennial before millennials existed. He wanted legal weed,

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cheap flights, and craft beer. Then he told everyone about

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Jimmy Carter answering the door in nineteen seventies, short shorts

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and crocs, which is either the best or worst mental

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image I've ever had. And Kamala Harris showed up last

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walking in with all the enthusiasm of someone who just

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found out they're getting transferred to the DMV. The tension

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between her and Jill Biden was so thick you could

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cut it with one of Jimmy Carter's old peanut farming tools.

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Just another totally normal day in Washington, where even at

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a funeral. Everyone's acting like they're at a dinner party

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where someone brought up politics. So President Biden just did

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his exit interview, and wow, and it's like watching your

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grandpa clean out his desk at work, except this desk

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happens to be in the Oval Office, and the family

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photos are replaced with nuclear codes. When asked if he

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could have won reelection, Biden said yes, but when asked

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if he could handle four more years, he went with

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who the hell knows, which is coincidentally the same answer

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I give when people ask me if I'm wearing matching socks.

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Now here's the kicker. Apparently, when Trump visited the White

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House after winning, he actually complimented Biden's economic record. That's right,

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two elderly men who spent years calling each other every

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name in the book finally had a moment of peace,

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though I suspect it's because they both got distracted arguing

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about who remembers the nineteen fifties better. The interview took

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place by a crackling fireplace, with a portrait of FDR

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watching over them, probably thinking at least I only served

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three terms. Biden had some note cards on his desk,

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but barely looked at them, which is either impressive or concerning,

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depending on whether they were actually just take out menus

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and get this. Trump was so nice during their meeting

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that Biden's considering pardoning some folks before he leaves, though honestly,

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in Washington, preemptive pardons are like breath mints at a

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garlic festival. Everybody needs one, just in case. The whole

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thing ended with Biden admitting his biggest regret was not

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fighting misinformation better, though, to be fair, in twenty twenty five,

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trying to fight misinformation is like trying to empty the

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ocean with a coffee mug. Noble effort, but maybe bring

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a bigger bucket next time. And that's the news. Portions

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of today's program were made with the help of AI

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and the Supreme Court Five Stars