Sept. 9, 2025

Trump's Blue Pill Panic, Supreme Court Says "Go Ahead and Profile," and Tom Hanks is Apparently Too Dangerous for West Point

Show Notes
Transcript

Patrick Gutfield breaks down the Supreme Court's decision to allow Trump's controversial immigration enforcement in California, investigates the mystery blue pill Trump was caught taking at the U.S. Open (spoiler: the internet has theories), and covers West Point's decision to cancel Tom Hanks' award ceremony because apparently Forrest Gump is too "woke" for our military academy. Plus, why attending a tennis match with Trump is harder than getting through airport security during the holidays.

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Callaroga Shark Media from Los Angeles, where Ice is back

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with a brand new invention. This is ballots. That's right,

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police on the scene. You know what I mean. Let's

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hit this Hi. I'm Patrick Gutfield and my family came

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over on the Mayflower and have only voted Republican in

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every election. The Supreme Court just gave Trump's immigration raids

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the green light in southern California, and apparently the Fourth

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Amendment took a little vacation to Cabo. The Court decided

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that federal agents can continue their operations, even though a

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federal judge said, hey, maybe don't just grab people because

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they speak Spanish at a car wash. Judge ma'am Frimpong

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had put a temporary hold on these raids after finding

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that probably violated that pesky little thing called the Constitution.

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She was particularly concerned about agents conducting what the lawsuit

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described him as brazen midday kidnappings by masked and heavily

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armed federal agents, which sounds less like immigration enforcement and

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more like a rejected script for fast and Furious seventeen

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ice road truckers. Judge Frimpong's order was pretty specific. Agents

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couldn't use race ethnicity, language, or even being at a

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car wash or towyard as grounds for detention. Apparently working

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at a towyard is now suspicious behavior. What's next arresting

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people for existing while bilingual at a home depot. The

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Department of Justice defended this approach, arguing they need to

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use a reasonably broad profile in a region where about

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ten percent of residents are undocumented. That's like saying we

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need to pull over everyone wearing sneakers because some people

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who wear sneakers jaywalk. The math doesn't exactly add up,

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but then again, constitutional law isn't known for its precision

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when it comes to profiling. The Ninth Circuit Court of

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Appeals had initially backed to Judge Frimpunk's decision, but the

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Supreme Court, with its six to three conservative majority, decided

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to side with the administration. The three liberal justices publicly dissented, which,

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in Supreme Court terms, is basically the legal equivalent of

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dramatically storming out of a dinner party. So there you

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have it. Federal agents can continue their patrols, armed and masked,

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stopping people based on race, language, and apparently their choice

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of workplace, because clearly the best way to enforce immigration

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law is to make everyone with an accent feel like

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they're living in an occupied territory, Land of the free,

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home of the randomly detained. So Trump was caught on

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camera at the US Open taking a mysterious bluepill, and

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the Internet immediately turned into a pharmacy detective squad. A

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photographer captured the moment Trump bared his teeth with what

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looked like a light blue tablet, and suddenly everyone's a

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medical expert. The speculation ranged from breath mints to well,

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let's just say, people were wondering if Trump chose the

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blue pill over the red pill, and we're not talking

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about the matrix, although given his relationship with reality, maybe

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we are. Some people think it was just an altoid.

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Others are convinced it was a viagra, which would explain

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why Trump's always so excited about his poll numbers. Then

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there are those suggesting adderall though honestly, if Trump's on stimulants,

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I'd hate to see what he's like without them. That

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would be like giving espresso to a hummingbird. Trump had

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decided to attend the US Open Men's final and somehow

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managed to turn a tennis match into an episode of

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Airport Security, the musical The Man showed up and immediately

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transformed Arthur Ashe Stadium into LaGuardia Airport during a holiday weekend.

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The match was delayed thirty minutes because of security measures,

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which is a polite way of saying the president's arrival

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turned this place into a fortress. Trump walked around waving

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to a that was about ten percent full, not because

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people didn't want to see tennis, but because they were

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all stuck in security lines longer than a John Mullaney

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bit about going to the airport. A woman from Toronto

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spent six hundred and thirty five dollars on her ticket

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and ended up watching the match on screens while standing

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in line. She called it a once in a lifetime opportunity,

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which technically it was. Most people only get stuck in

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Presidential Security Theater once in their lifetime. West Point decided

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to cancel Tom Hanks's awards ceremony, and Trump immediately jumped

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on truth Social to celebrate like he just won the lottery.

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The man who played Forrest Gump was going to receive

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an award for being an outstanding citizen, but apparently that's

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too woke for our military academy. Now, Trump posted that

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west Point made an important move by not giving awards

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to destructive, woke recipients. Yes, Tom Hanks, the guy who

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made us all CROs during Philadelphia and taught us that

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life is like a box of chocolates. He's apparently the

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real threat to America. Not corruption, not actual enemies, but

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the man who voiced Woody in toy Story. Also, it's

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possible Trump hit on Hanks when he cross dressed in

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that old sitcom Bosom Buddies. I'm not saying it happened,

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I'm saying it's possible. The West Point Association said they

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needed to focus on their core mission of preparing cadets right,

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because honoring someone who spent decades doing charity work and

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portraying American heroes on screen would really distract from military training.

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God forbid, cadets see an example of public service from

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someone who isn't currently under indictment. Trump then suggested the

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Academy awards should review their standards and practices in the

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name of fairness and justice. He's basically asking Hollywood to

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create a loyalty test for Oscar eligibility. What's next? A

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quiz on truth social posts before you can accept a

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golden globe. Portions of today's show were made with the

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help of Ice Vanilla Ice, of course an ai Baby.

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Now check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.