Dec. 19, 2024

Trump's Ambassador Herschel Walker Pick, Luigi a terrorist?, and another Prince Andrew Scandal

Show Notes
Transcript

Today's stories explore three high-profile figures navigating very different controversies. Trump appoints football legend Herschel Walker to be Ambassador to the Bahamas while warning Senate Republicans to hold off on other confirmations. In New York, prosecutors pursue ambitious terrorism charges against alleged UnitedHealthcare CEO killer Luigi Mangione, raising eyebrows among legal experts. And across the pond, Prince Andrew finds himself entangled with an alleged Chinese spy, adding another chapter to his ongoing saga of questionable associations.It's a night where a football player becomes a diplomat, a murder suspect becomes a folk hero, and a prince becomes... well, even more problematic than usual.

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WEBVTT

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Kalaroga Shark media.

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From the Bahamas, where Ambassador herschel Walker was just traded

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for five draft picks.

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This is ballad. How about them Cowboys?

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Anyway, Today, let's check in on Luigi, Prince Andrew, and

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of course the Man in Orange.

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Let's hit this.

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Oh, it looks like Trump's playing fantasy Ambassador League. He's

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picking his diplomatic dream team with all the careful consideration

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of someone choosing players for their March Madness bracket. First up,

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we've got herschel Walker getting the nod for ambassador to

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the Bahamas.

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Now I'm not saying Trump.

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Picked Walker because he needs someone who can run really

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fast through customs, but his main qualifications appear to be

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that he was good at football and rode a Bob

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sled that one time. It's like sending someone to be

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ambassador because they were really good at Mario Kart. And

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then there's Nicole McGraw heading to Croatia Benels. She collects

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art and apparently knows the difference between a Picasso and

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a paint by numbers. I guess when you're picking ambassadors,

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knowing your monet from your macaroni art counts as foreign

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policy experience these days. But here's the real touchdown dance.

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Trump ends his announcement by basically telling Senate Republicans, don't

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you dare confirm anyone else's picks.

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He's treating the Senate like a.

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Restaurant where he's already called ahead to save all the tables.

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I won the biggest mandate in one hundred and twenty

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nine years, he says, which is oddly specific. It's like

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saying you have the best sandwich in the last seventy

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three years and four months. The best part he capitalized

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very qualified people like it's the name of a boy

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band coming to an embassy near you. The very qualified

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people featuring herschel Walker on running really fast and Nicole

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McGrath on identifying expensive paintings.

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Talk about escalation.

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The DA's office just hit Luigi Mangione with charges bigger

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than a New New York pizza. They're trying to supersize

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a murder charge into terrorism, which is like trying to

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convince your mom that playing Mario makes you a professional plumber.

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So Mangione allegedly shot the United Healthcare CEO, and now

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Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg is treating it like it's Ocean's

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eleven meets January sixth. The prosecutors are basically saying, look,

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people were mean on social media after the murder, so

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clearly this was terrorism, which is kind of like blaming

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the restaurant for how hungry you got on the way there. Meanwhile,

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defense attorneys are looking at this case like they just

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watch someone try to parallel park.

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A cruise ship. They're saying, shooting.

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Someone in the dark early morning on a quiet street

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isn't exactly the definition of terrorism. It's more like really

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terrible time management. Here's the thing. In New York, first

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degree murder is usually reserved for killing cops, judges, or

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when you're trying to win a most Evil criminal contest.

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But the DA's office is going full New York headline

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with this one, probably hoping Mangioni will take a plea

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deal faster than a tourist walks in Times Square. The

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best part some of the publics treating Mangioni like he's

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Robin Hood if Robinhood had terrible insurance coverage. One lawyer

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actually asked, why should a CEO's murder be treated differently

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than anyone else's, which is a philosophical question worthy of

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a very depressing ted talk.

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So now we've got.

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A case where the prosecutions trying to turn social media

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likes into evidence of terrorism. Stay tuned to see if

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this legal strategy works out better than trying to find

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affordable healthcare in America.

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Oh look, Prince Andrew's back in the news.

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It's like the Royal family's own version of that relative

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who keeps showing up to Christmas dinner with increasingly wilder

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stories about their latest business opportunity. This time, Andy's apparently

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been hanging out with a guy who British intelligence thinks

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is a Chinese by Because when you've already been caught

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piling around with Jeffrey Epstein, I guess the natural next

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step is to try international espionage. It's like he's working

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his way through a checklist of ways to give the

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Palace pr team ulcers. The court says Andrew had an

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unusual degree of trust with this Yang Tengbo character. You

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know what's really unusual having to specify that your relationship

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with someone has an unusual degree of anything. That's like

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saying you have a suspicious amount of pasta. The fact

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you had to mention it means something's definitely up. Yang

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says he's totally not a spy, which is exactly what

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a spy would say, and also what a non spy

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would say. Really helpful clarification there, And get this, Andrew

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invited the guy to his sixtieth birthday party because nothing

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says happy birthday to me like potentially compromising national security.

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The Palace's statement basically translates to we stopped hanging out

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with him after someone old as he might be a spy,

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which feels like the kind of thing you might want

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to check before the birthday cake. The best part, Andrew's

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office says they met through official channels and nothing sensitive

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was discussed, right, because spies always open with hello, I'm

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a spy, let's discuss state secrets. At this point, King

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Charles must be wondering if he can trade Andrew in

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for another Corgi. Between this and well everything else, Andrew's

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making Harry and Megan's Netflix deal look like a masterclass

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in royal discretion. By the way, for all the latest snark,

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gossip and I guess news about the Royal family, check

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out the podcast Palace Intrigue Pallace Intrigue. It's like ballot,

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but with less Trump and more Kate Middleton. Portions of

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today's show were made with the help of Ai, a

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Chinese spy, and George Washington.