Sept. 11, 2024

Trump's Alien Trans Surgery Rant Meets Taylor Swift's 'Childless Cat Lady' Clap Back: Debate Night Drama

Show Notes
Transcript

We dive into the surreal world of presidential politics where former President Trump's debate performance goes off the rails with claims of "transgender operations on illegal aliens in prison," while pop superstar Taylor Swift drops a last-minute endorsement bomb for VP Harris, signing off as a proud "Childless Cat Lady." From Trump's pet-eating conspiracy theories to Swift's 283 million-strong Instagram army, we break down the night's wildest moments, meme-worthy gaffes, and the unexpected collision of pop culture and politics. Join us as we navigate through the glitter and chaos of an election season that's shaping up to be more dramatic than a Taylor Swift bridge and more confusing than Trump's debate answers.

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Calarogu shark media from Springfield, where in prison, transgendered illegal

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aliens are eating your pet, Kittie. This is ballad, oh Man.

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Trump was so bad last night that I heard Nancy

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Pelosi is having backroom calls to get him to drop out.

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We have a lot to unpack, so let's hit this well, folks.

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It looks like Trump's debate strategy was to go full

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Silence of the Lambs meets Windmills of your Mind. When

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Harris jabbed at his rallies being snoozefests, Trump decided to

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take us on a wild ride through his personal fever

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dream in Springfield. They're eating the dogs, the people that

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came in. They're eating the cats, Trump ranted. They're eating

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the pets of the people that live there, and this

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is what's happening in our county.

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Wow, Donald, I didn't.

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Realize we'd switch from a presidential debate to a pitch

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meeting for Haitian Hannibal the musical.

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Maybe next time stick to the I Have the Best

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Words routine. It's less chewy.

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When fact checked by ABC's David Muir, who said there

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were no credible reports of pet eating in Springfield, Trump

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countered with the ironclad source of people on television. He added,

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people on television say my dog was taken and used

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for food.

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Well, if it's on TV, it must be true. I hear.

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They're also reporting that the moon is made of cheese

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and that Trump's hair is one hundred percent natural. Turns

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out Trump's team had advised him to pivot to a

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tragic story about.

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A young boy killed in a car accident.

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But our former president, being the maverick he is, decided

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to stick with his gut or in this case, other

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people's pets guts.

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Trump managed to turn a debate into.

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A B movie horror plot, complete with immigrant cannibals and

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windmill monsters. Next debate, maybe we should check if he's

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been binge watching The Walking Dead beforehand.

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It might explain a lot.

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Trump's debate performance was less make America great again and

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more make America scratch its head in confusion.

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Again. There was the line that launched a thousand memes.

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Now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens

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that are in prison.

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Ah.

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Yes, the classic political platform of gender affirming care for

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incarcerated extraterrestrials. I guess et is getting more than just

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a phone home these days. As one clever ex user

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pointed out, this sounds like something straight out of a

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Succession chirn. Trump's debate strategy seemed to be throw everything

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at the wall and see what sticks.

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Unfortunately, for him.

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Nothing stuck except the image of him as a confused

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old man yelling at clouds. The former president was firing

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off dog whistles so fast even actual dogs were like, dude,

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slow down, we can't keep up.

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It's like he was playing some twisted version of mad libs.

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In city, they're eating the pets, the immigrants that came in,

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they're eating the other pets. Some enterprising souls have already

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started generating their own trumpy and anti trans comments. My

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personal favorite, they're doing top surgery on stray cats in

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school libraries. Kamala Harris was the prosecutor who came prepared

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with receipts. Trump meanwhile, seemed to think he was at

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a roast, but forgot to bring the jokes. Harris strutted

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across that stage like she owned it, offering Trump a

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handshake and her name. Trump's response, have fun, Oh Donald,

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if only you knew the fun She was about to

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have at your expense. Our former president spent the night

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playing defense as well as the Jets did. Monday night,

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Harris laid out more traps than a home alone movie,

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and Trump stumbled into every single one. Trump tried to

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flex about his rallies, insisting people don't leave my rallies.

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When it came to abortion, Trump danced around the issue

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like it was a subpoena. He declared, I have been

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a leader on fertilization. Considering your personal history, maybe that's

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not the flex you think it is. Don Harris meanwhile,

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hit him with that prosecutor energy. She called his stance

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on abortion insult to the women of America. I haven't

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seen someone get burned that badly since well since Trump

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tried to look directly at a solar eclipse. The former

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president couldn't even hide his disdain for Harris. He yelled

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into the mic like it owed him money, while Harris

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just laughed it off. She warned that world leaders were

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laughing at Donald Trump. Join the club world leaders. We've

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been doing that for years. By the end, Trump seemed

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to miss Biden so much he was reminiscing about waking

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him up at four pm. Buddy, I hate to break

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it to you, but, as Harris pointed out, you're not

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running against Joe Biden, You're running against me, and run

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circles around him.

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She did.

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Trump's final assessment, it was the best debate I've ever had. Well, Donald,

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I guess when the bar is set lower than your

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approval ratings, it's easy to clear it. The debate aftermath

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gave us a show almost as entertaining as the main event.

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Our favorite orange hued ringmaster, Donald Trump decided to take

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a victory lap right into the media spin room. Because

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nothing says I crushed it like desperately telling everyone how

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great you were. Trump declared, it was the best debate

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I've ever had, considering his last debate partner decided to

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quit politics altogether. That's like bragging about being the tallest

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umpa lumpa Not exactly a high bar there, Donnie. Our

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former president was immediately swarmed by cameras and phones. Finally

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a crowd size he can be happy about. He stuck

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to his greatest hits, whining about ABC News and the

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moderators being unfair.

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I guess he was.

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Expecting them to ask him about his golf handicap and

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favorite fast food menu items.

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But here's where it gets juicy.

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Harris's team said she's ready for round two, asking if

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Trump is up for it. Suddenly, mister I want all

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the debates got cold feet faster than a MAGA supporter

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at a Taylor Swift concert, He said, I have to

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think about it.

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Translation help. My ego can't take another beating.

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Trump even compared himself to a prize fighter, saying, when

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you're a prize fighter.

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And you lose, you immediately want a new fight.

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Funny, I thought, when you lose as a prize fighter,

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you immediately want new lawyers to contest the results and

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claim the ref was biased.

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But who cares about the issues.

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The big story is that Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala Taylor,

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the queen of breakup songs, just broke up with any

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chance of a Trump presidency. Faster than you can say,

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we are never ever getting back together, Swift decided to

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drop her endorsement like it was a surprise track. At midnight,

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she posted a pick with her cat, Benjamin Button because

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nothing says I'm making a serious political statement quite like

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cuddling with a fur ball named after a Brad Pitt movie.

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Our pop princess took a swipe at Trump's AI Shenanigan's

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basically saying, look what you made me do endorse your opponent.

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She signed off as childless cat lady, throwing more shade

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at jd Vance than a solar eclipse that Trump would

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stare right at. I hope no imprisoned, transgendered illegal immigrants.

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Eater cats encouraged her two hundred and eighty three million

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followers to do their research. That's right, swifties. Time to

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trade in your friendship bracelets for voter registration cards.

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Swift wrote, I'm.

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Voting for Kamala Harris because she fights for the rights

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and causes I believe need a warrior to champion them.

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Warrior huh, I guess Harris is ready for some bad

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blood with the GOP. Trump's team tried to shake it off,

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saying Swift's endorsement proves the Dems are the party of

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the wealthy elite, right, because nothing says man of the

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people quite like a guy who lives in a golden

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tower with his name on it. Harris's campaign, meanwhile, is

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all look what you made me do? Reposting Swift's endorsement

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with Kamala is ready for it. I bet Trump's wishing

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he could go back to December when he thought he

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had a chance. Trump's reaction to Swift's endorsement of Harris,

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I have no idea Classic Trump. He's about as clueless

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about Swift's statement as he is about well, most things. Meanwhile,

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Joe Biden remember him. Don't worry he doesn't either. Joe

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Biden plans to spend today doing nine to eleven. Joe,

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I don't think that came out the way you think. Apparently,

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what he meant was I'm going up to my granddaughter's

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birthday in New York. Who well, folks, it looks like

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Elon Musk's brain took a little vacation during the Trump

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Harris debate. Maybe he was busy counting as kids or

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planning his next trip to Mars. But as soon as

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Taylor Swift endorsed Harris with her new hit single Childless

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Cat Lady Blues, Musk's thumbs sprung into action faster than

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you can say electric car, our favorite billionaire playboy decided

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to slide into Swift's DMS with the smoothest pickup line

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since Romeo and Juliet Quote fine, Taylor, you win. I

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will give you a child and guard your cats with

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my life.

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Wow.

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Elon, save some romance for the rest of us. I

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hear his next move is offering to build a hyperloop

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between his house and Swift's cat sanctuary.

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But wait, there's more.

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Musk, apparently realizing he hadn't quite dug himself a deep

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enough hole, decided to chime in on the debate itself.

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He claimed the ABC moderators were unfair to.

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Trump, probably because they didn't ask about the structural integrity

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of cyber truck windows or the colonization of Mars.

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So there you have it, folks.

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Elon Musk, tech genius, space explorer and now apparently political

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analyst and fertility specialist.

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What can't this man do? Oh right, stay off Twitter.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison in Ai.