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Calarogu Shark Media from America, where this is our second
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episode of the day, So if you missed this morning's drop,
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go back and download it. This is valid. That's right.
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The folks on CNN look like they are going to cry,
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and Hollywood is in tears. Let's hit this. Hey, it's
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Mac Davies, the guy who supported Trump. All along with
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an update on the Hollywood Cry Festival, which is in
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full swing. Let's check in with our favorite out of
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touch elites who are having absolute meltdowns in their multimillion
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dollar compounds. Jamie Lee Curtis is urging people to wake
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up and fight, which is rich coming from someone who's
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biggest fight lately was with the Halloween makeup department. Cardi
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B posted I hate y'all bad on Instagram. Wow, such eloquence.
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I haven't heard political commentary that deep since my goldfish
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blew bubbles at me. And a goldfish has the memory
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span of Joe Biden, Remember him, voters did? Stephen King
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tried getting philosophical with some metaphor about fragile items in
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a gift shop. Steve stick to writing about killer clowns.
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At least those stories had happy endings. Christina Applegate is
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telling people to unfollow her if they voted Trump. Sophia
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Bush thinks America made a bad choice. Yeah, because we
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really needed political guidance from Chex's notes. One of the
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stars of One Tree Hill, John Cusack, called it a
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sign of deep nihilism.
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Johnny.
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The only thing nihilistic here is expecting anyone to remember
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your last movie. And my personal favorite, Chris Pratt, tried
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playing both sides with some Kumbaya statement about unity.
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Way to go, star Lord.
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That's about as useful as bringing a dinosaur to a
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presidential debate. Folks, what a beautiful day to be a winner.
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People like me who have recognized Trump's greatness all along
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and never made fun of him, Not like those Podsave
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America guys are having a great day. Let me tell
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you about some real Mima Americans who know how to
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pick a winner, unlike those crying Hollywood types. First up,
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we've got Joe Rogan, a man who knows his DMT
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and his politics. When he posted holy shit, that's basically
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Shakespeare for I told you so.
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And how about my man Elon Musk.
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Not only is he a super genius according to Trump
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and trust me. Trump knows genius when he sees it.
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He has the best words. But he was handing out
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million dollar checks like they were maga hats at a rally.
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Now that's what I call making America rich again. Dave
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Portnoy says Trump won for fun, which is exactly how
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you should win an election.
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It's like playing golf at mar A Lago.
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You're having the time of your life while absolutely destroying
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the competition. Have you seen the latest hit piece from
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the failing media. They're trying to suggest, and try not
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to laugh too hard here, that Milania Trump might not
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want to be around her devastatingly handsome husband. I mean,
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come on, as if that woman with Trump last night
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with the giant sunglasses wasn't actually Milania but was fake Milania.
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Have you seen Donald Trump?
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The man's got hair that would make a golden retriever jealous.
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It's like a magnificent cornsilk waterfall that just happens to
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defy gravity in all known laws of physics. That's called power, folks.
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And those hands, let me tell you about those hands.
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They're huge, huge, like two Christmas hams attached to arms.
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You know what they say about men with huge hands.
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They make tremendous deals, the best deals. Plus, who wouldn't
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want to be around someone with such a natural totally
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not spray on tan. That gorgeous shade of sunset orange
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that makes him look like a human cheeto. That's what
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peak male performance looks like, people. And that physique, the
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way he stands like he's a centaur that lost its
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back legs, pure masculine elegance. The way his tie hangs
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down to his knees like some kind of business formal
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belly curtain.
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That's called fashion, folks.
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So these liberal media types want us to believe that Milania,
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a former model with impeccable taste, wouldn't want to be
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around this specimen of male perfection.
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Please.
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Next thing you'll tell me is that diet coke button
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in the Oval office wasn't the height of presidential sophistication.
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The idea of a fake Milania is an outrageous claim,
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and it won't surprise me if the enemies of the
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state are sent to the Gulag for being so disrespectful,
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but not me. I know it was Milania. Oh, let
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me tell you about the view today, folks. What a
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collection of long faces? It was like watching a group
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therapy session at the Bitter Barn. First up, we've got
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Sonny host In being profoundly disturbed. Well, Sonny, I'm profoundly
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disturbed by how many times you've been wrong about everything.
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But you don't see me crying about it on national television.
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But you might see me gloating about it if my
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agent gets this mag alive with Mac Davies show on
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ABC to replace Jimmy Kimmel during the fourth Reich I mean,
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second Trump administration and Whoopy won't say Trump's name? Oh no,
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How will the most successful president in history survive without
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Whoopy Goldberg's vocal endorsement? I hear she's still packing her
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bags from when she promised to leave in twenty sixteen.
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Need help with those bags, whoop be. But my favorite
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was Alyssa Farah Griffin.
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Trying to be reasonable and getting shut down faster than
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Hillary Clinton's email server. She dared to suggest that maybe,
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just maybe we should listen to rural America revolutionary concept there, Alyssa,
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who knew people outside of Manhattan and Hollywood had opinions,
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and Van Jones over at CNN looking like someone just
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told him as Tesla ran out of battery. People are
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going to bed with a nightmare. Yeah, a nightmare for
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the deep state maybe, But hey, at least John Stewart offered, hope.
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This is not the end.
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He says, You're right, John, It's just the beginning of
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making America great again again. Let's take a break to
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enjoy these commercials and check our stocks. The market was
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up thirteen hundred at noon. Hey, my portfolio is booming
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so hard I might not even need that ABC gig.
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Oh boy, what a night at Howard University. Let me
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tell you what really happened here, folks. So they're all
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waiting for Kamala Harris, wearing their pearls and pantsuits like
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they're at some kind of pretend to be Hillary Clinton
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costume party. Meanwhile, Trump's over at mar A Lago, probably
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eating the world's most beautiful chocolate cake with his absolutely
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thrilled to be their wife, real Millenia.
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The DJ's like, if you're ready to make history, talk
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to me.
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Well, buddy, looks like history's gonna have to wait because
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Donald Trump was too busy making American History. The sequel
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This time it's personal. Harris is scheduled to speak this afternoon.
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Don't forget to download this morning's episode if you missed it.
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Portions of today's show were made with the help of
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AI and Cry. See you in the morning with more
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ballot where we actually know how to handle winning