Caloroga Shark Media
Feb. 6, 2025

Trump Takes Media to New Heights: From 60 Minutes Meltdown to White House Disco Dreams | Patrick Gutfield on JD Vance's Medieval Tweet Storm

Trump Takes Media to New Heights: From 60 Minutes Meltdown to White House Disco Dreams | Patrick Gutfield on JD Vance's Medieval Tweet Storm

Patrick Gutfield rips into Trump's wild week of media attacks, from demanding CBS shut down over edited footage to his plans for a one hundred million dollar White House disco ballroom. Plus: His Press Secretary invents the "grocery pump," and VP JD...

Patrick Gutfield rips into Trump's wild week of media attacks, from demanding CBS shut down over edited footage to his plans for a one hundred million dollar White House disco ballroom. Plus: His Press Secretary invents the "grocery pump," and VP JD Vance tries to justify immigration policy with medieval philosophy.

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Caalaroga shark media from New Orleans, where the only thing

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more inflated than these super Bowl ticket prices is Jason

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Kelcey after three bowls of jambalaya. This is ballot, that's right,

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and we're on radio row at the super Bowl for

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some reason. Let's hit this. Trump's really taking his media

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criticism to New Heights. See what I did there. He's

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demanding CBS get shut down because sixty minutes edited an interview,

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which is basically saying, how dare you take out the

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parts where she's drinking water? And saying this man watched

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an edited TV interview and decided it was and these

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are his words, perhaps the biggest scandal in history, Bigger

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than Watergate, bigger than that time I ordered a twelve

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piece McNugget and only got eleven. He's also pushing this

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wild theory that the government is secretly paying media outlets

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for positive coverage. According to Trump, Politico got eight million

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dollars from USAID, but it turns out that money was

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just from government agencies subscribing to political pro which is

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like getting mad that the DMV has a New York

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Times subscription. And you know what's really something. His Press

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Secretary Caroline Levitt is now threatening to cancel all these subscriptions.

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That's right. The White House's solution to fake news is

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to make sure government employees have less access to information. Next,

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they'll fight inflation by breaking all the thermometers. The best

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part Trump called this election interference because they edited an

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interview for Time by that logic. Every time I fast

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forward through a commercial, I'm committing a federal crime. Lock

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me up. I skipped through three pharmaceutical ads just this morning.

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Trump wants to add a one hundred million dollar ballroom

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to the White House because nothing says fiscal responsibility like

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turning the executive mansion into Studio fifty four. According to Trump,

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he's been trying to pitch this idea since Obama was

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in office. He's like that friend who keeps the jesting

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everyone should go skydiving, and nobody ever responds to the

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group text. He says he offered this to Biden too,

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but shockingly, installing a mar A Lago style dance floor

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wasn't high on the administration's to do list. Now, Trump

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says he'll pay for it himself, one hundred million dollars

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for what would be the biggest White House renovation since

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Truman basically gutted the place back in nineteen forty eight.

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That renovation was because the building was literally falling apart,

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not because it needed more disco balls. His reasoning, well,

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apparently he's tired of seeing tents go up when Chinese

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diplomats visit. I mean, who hasn't looked at a formal

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diplomatic meeting and thought, you know what, this needs more glitter?

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And just to put this in perspective, he's announcing this

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grand ballroom plan right as his efficiency team is cutting

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federal budgets left and right. It's sort of like telling

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your roommates you're installing a hot tub right after explaining

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why everyone needs to start buying generic toilet paper. Trump

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claims he's good at building party room, pointing to his

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ballroom at mar A Lago as proof, which I guess

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makes sense if your idea of presidential decor is Las

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Vegas Casino meets Versai. Vice President Vance is citing medieval

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Catholic philosophy to justify immigration policy, which is like using

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a Thomas Aquinas quote to explain why you won't let

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your neighbor bar your leafblower. The irony here is that

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Vance cherry picked this Ordo Amorus concept but left out

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the part where Aquinas literally says, hey, sometimes you actually

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need to help the stranger in extreme need before your

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own father. That's not exactly supporting the whole America First agenda.

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There he's telling people to just google Ordo Amorus like

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it's a mic drop moment. But if you actually read

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Augustine's work, he says all men are to be loved equally.

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That's about as far from Trump administration immigration policy as

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New Orleans is from medieval Rome. What's really something is

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Vance posting this on X Nothing says I respect the

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deep theological tradition of the Catholic Church, quite like explaining

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them in two hundred and eighty characters between posts about

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Hunter Biden's laptop. And you've got to love a Yale

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lawgrad telling people to just google complex medieval Catholic theology.

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That's like telling someone to understand constitutional law by watching

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Law and Order reruns. Ah the famous grocery pump where

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you fill up your grocery cart with premium unleaded milk.

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The White House had quite a moment when Press Secretary

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Caroline Leavitt created a new concept in American retail. When

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asked about prices coming down under Trump's policies, she accidentally

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combined two talking points and referred to prices at the

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grocery pump. That's right, she merged grocery stores and gas

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pumps into one magnificent verbal slip. Levitt just invented my

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favorite new phrase. I'm going to start using that. Hey, honey,

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can you stop by the grocery pump and pick up

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some gas powered bread? Now? I I know we've all

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felt like we're getting robbed at both places lately, but

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this is the first time someone's officially combined them. When

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asked for a timeline on when these prices might actually

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come down, whether at the real gas pump or this

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mythical grocery pump, Levitt couldn't give one, though in her defense,

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maybe she was just busy inventing more new places to

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spend money, like the laundromat casino or the drive through library.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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the Grocery Pump AI and an expense account at Pat

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O'Brien's