April 30, 2025

Trump Runs The World, Bezos Bends the Knee & Pakistan's Weather From Hell

Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump declaring himself ruler of the world, Amazon's hasty retreat from tariff transparency, and the record-breaking heat wave turning 21 countries into human rotisseries.

Show Notes
Transcript

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Caalaroga Shark media from Washington, d C. Where you can

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only run the country, not the world. This is ballot.

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I totally disagree you can run the world. No gulag

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for me, but I might get a new staff announcer,

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and not by choice. I'm Patrick Gutfield. And President Trump

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just gave an interview to the Atlantic where he casually

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mentioned he now runs the country and the world, just

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a tiny step up from his first term, when he

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only had to run the country and survive, you know,

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normal presidential job growth. The man who once struggled with

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the concept of Finland not being part of Russia is

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now apparently Earth's manager in chief. He's gone from make

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America great again to make the entire planet do whatever

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I say. Trump has been slapping tariffs on practically every

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country with an economy, though he's paused some of them

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until July because says stable global leadership like telling the

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world I might destroy your economies or maybe not check

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back in three months. Meanwhile, he's been straining relationships with

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longtime allies by casually suggesting he might acquire Greenland or

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make Canada the fifty first state. That's like telling your

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neighbor you might bulldoze their house to build a swimming pool,

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then wondering why they don't invite you to barbecues anymore.

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When asked about potentially running for a third term, which is,

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you know, unconstitutional, Trump said, it's not something that I'm

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looking to do, and I think it would be a

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very hard thing to do. Translation, I'm definitely thinking about it,

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and I believe I can do anything. Next Tuesday, Trump

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heads to Michigan for a rally celebrating his first one

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hundred days back in office. Press Secretary Caroline Levitt announced

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it with all caps enthusiasm, because nothing says professional government

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communication like typing like you're yelling at strangers online. So

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Amazon just denied reports that they plan to list Trump's

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tariff cost next to product prices on their website, which

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is like deciding not to put this burger will give

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you heartburn on a fast food menu. Probably smart. According

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to an Amazon spokesperson named Tim Doyle, the team that

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runs our ultra low cost Amazon Haull store considered the

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idea of listing import charges on certain products. This was

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never approved and is not going to happen. In other words,

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someone at Amazon had this brilliant idea during a meeting,

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and everyone immediately realized it might anger the most powerful

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man in the world. And boy, did it anger him.

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According to CNN's Elena Trene, President Trump personally called Jeff

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Bezos to complain. Trump later commented during a press briefing

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that Jeff Bezos is very nice, terrific. He solved the

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problem very quickly. He did the right thing. Good guy.

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That's Trump's speak for, I got what I wanted, So

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now we're best friends again. Before Amazon backtracked. White House

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Press Secretary Caroline Levitt called the potential move a hostile

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and political act. She also asked why Amazon didn't do

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this during the Biden administration when inflation was high, which

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is like asking why someone didn't complain about rain during

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a drought. Amazon stock dropped one percent in midday trading,

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which in Amazon terms is basically the financial equivalent of

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dropping your pocket change between couch cushions. Jeff Bezos will

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recover emotionally. I'm sure Pakistan is about to experience temperatures

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that would make a volcano say, hey, maybe dial it

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back a bit. Parts of the country just hit one

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hundred and eighteen degrees last weekend, and forecasters predicted could

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reach one hundred and twenty two degrees by today, which

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happens to be the global April record set by the

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Pakistani city of Nawubshah back in twenty eighteen. The Pakistan

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Meteorological Department has issued heat wave warnings f basically telling

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citizens maybe don't go outside unless you want to know

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what it feels like to be a rotisserie chicken. This

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score heat comes from what meteorologists call a dome of

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high pressure stretching from the Middle East into South Asia.

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Normal people call it weather from hell. It's like someone

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put a giant lid over the region and turned the

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stove to hide. Twenty one countries are expected to see

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temperatures above one hundred and ten degrees this week. That's

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not a weather forecast, that's a list of places to

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absolutely avoid visiting right now. Iraq just recorded its highest

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April temperature ever at one hundred and fifteen degrees. Turkmenistan

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is currently the most unusually warm country on Earth, running

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seven degrees above average. I'm guessing their tourism slogan isn't

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come for the politics. Stay because you melted into the pavement.

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The first three months of twenty twenty five were the

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second warmest on record globally, only twenty twenty four was hotter,

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which is about as comforting as saying this burning building

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is slightly less on fire than the one next door.

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With summer approaching for the northern Hemisphere, we can expect

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more dangerously hot conditions aligned with our warming climate, so

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maybe invest in air conditioning stocks and ice cube futures.

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Portions of today's show were made with the help of ice,

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Ice and Baby. Also AI