Nov. 18, 2024

Trump, RFK, Tulsi, Rogan etc hit UFC 309 while Joe Biden looks to start WWIII

Show Notes
Transcript

While Joe plays with fire, Don hit UFC 309 with the gang, and they all had McDonald's on the plane. What are we even doing?

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Calarogu Shark media.

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From Washington, DC, where RFK is trying to make an

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unhappy meal.

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This is ballot, that's right.

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But with World War three starting, what's a big mac

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between friends, Let's hit this where we still can well

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folks before we get to World War three, which seems

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like it could be important. UFC three hundred and nine

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just became the first sporting event where the crowd was

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more interested in watching someone throw their hat in the

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ring than actual fighters throwing punches. President elect Trump turned

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Madison Square Garden into Magas Square Garden faster than you

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can say ground and pound. His entrance music Kid Rocks

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American bad Ass, because nothing says presidential quite like a

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song with ass in the title. The whole thing was

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like a WWE event, met a political rally and had

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a baby that drinks protein shakes, minus Tony Hinchcliff making

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Joe about Puerto Rico. Trump even did his signature YMCA

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dance moves, you know the ones that make him look

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like he's directing traffic while having a sugar rush.

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And talk about a star studded entourage.

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We had RFK Junior, who probably checked the octagon for

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vaccine mandates before entering Tulci Gabbard, who's apparently switching from

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surfing to intelligence, and Elon Musk, who was probably there

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to check if any of the fighters were actually robots.

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Trump even got a custom UFC video where he promised

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to fight for you with every breath in my body.

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Even the fighters got in on the political action.

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One guy actually used his victory speech to talk about

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justice for a confiscated pet squirrel, because nothing says I

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just won a brutal cage fight like advocating for rodent rights.

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Joe Rogan was there too, probably thinking about how this

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would make a great three hour podcast episode about political

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conspiracies and elk.

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Meat and Dana White.

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He stuck to Trump like he was wearing velcro, probably

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pitching him on making this the Union a pay per

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view event. RFK, Junior, America's favorite Kennedy turned conspiracy theorist,

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is worried about Trump's diet. Apparently the man who thinks

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vaccines contain five G is concerned that McDonald's might be unhealthy.

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Talk about a happy meal turning into a reality check.

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Trump's campaign plane is basically just a flying drive through

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At this point. Your meal options are KFC or Big Mac.

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It's like being asked, do you want Trump or Harris?

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Can we pick neither? Or maybe it's like whether you

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want your arteries clogged from the left or the right. Though,

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to be fair, that's also Trump's entire political strategy. And

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get this, According to UFC's Dana White, he's never seen

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Trump drink water in twenty years, not once, though that

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actually explains a lot about his hair. It's probably just

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crystallized diet coke at this point. Remember when Trump tweeted

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that Coca Cola was garbage, but he'd still keep drinking

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that garbage. That's basically his entire platform for twenty twenty five.

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Kennedy says Trump stayed awake for forty eight straight hours

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during election night, which is weird because night is only

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like thirteen hours long this time of year.

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That's impressive.

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Most people need at least some sleep between conspiracy theories, though,

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when you're running on a mixture of diet coke and

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Big Macs, sleep is probably more of a suggestion than

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a requirement.

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You know your diet is bad.

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When even the guy who thinks pigeons or government drones

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is telling you to eat a vegetable. But hey, at

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least we finally found something that RFK and actual doctors

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agree on. Maybe Trump should try eating something that isn't

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served in a paper bag. And here's how serious RFK

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is about all this. The health Crusader was caught on

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Trump's plane doing his best impression of Morgan Spurlock's Supersize Me,

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minus the documentary part. There he was America's most famous

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raw milk advocate, seen in a photo clutching a big

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Mac like it was his last meal before a juice cleanse.

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Seated next to Trump, Elon Musk and Don Junior Kennedy

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looked about as comfortable as a yoga instructor at a

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hot dog eating contest. You've got to appreciate the irony here.

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The guy who wants to take fluorite out of your

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water just took processed cheese into his mouth. Joe Biden

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remember him, Don't worry, he doesn't either. He figured he'd

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start World War three before he leaves. Biden's playing his

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final round of hot potato with rockets before leaving office.

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After two years of saying no long range missiles for you,

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He's finally letting Ukraine use atackums, which is military speak

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for spicy flying things that go really far.

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The timing is interesting.

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It's like when you let your younger sibling play with

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your favorite toy right before your parents give it to

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your cousin.

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Sorry, President elect Trump.

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But Biden just changed the you break it, you bought

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it policy to you break.

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It you inherited it. And why the sudden change of heart.

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Turns out Russia decided to make this war a multinational

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pot luck and invited North to bring some troops because

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apparently this conflict wasn't complicated enough already. It's like adding

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Carolina Reaper peppers to a dish that was already too spicy.

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President Zelenski's response was pure action movie. The rockets will

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speak for themselves, which is probably the most badass way

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anyone has ever said.

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No comment.

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Meanwhile, some US officials are worried this might make Russia angry.

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The others say those fears are overblown, which is diplomatic

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speak for what's he gonna do?

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Start another war? Governor Tim Walls's.

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Daughter went full scorched Earth over mom and Dad's White

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House dreams getting trumped. Hope Walls took to TikTok, because

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apparently that's where all the serious political discourse happens these days,

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to basically tell.

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America, you know what, you can't sit with Kamala.

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I mean, she literally said America doesn't deserve Kamala Harris, which,

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let's be honest, is the political equivalent of it's not you,

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it's me, except in this case, it's deaf you America. Well, folks,

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it turns out Vice President Harris had one tiny condition

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for going on Joe Rogan's podcast, don't mention marijuana. That's

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like going on Gordon Ramsey's show with the condition don't

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mention food, or interviewing Trump with the condition don't mention yourself.

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The VP wanted to avoid discussing her record of putting

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people in jail for weed, which is about as awkward

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as running into someone you ghosted at the grocery store.

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Rogan said Harris only wanted an hour long interview in DC,

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probably because that's exactly how long it takes to dodge

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every interesting question while reading from a teleprompter. Meanwhile, Trump

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did a three hour session with Rogan that got thirty

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six million views. That's more people than have ever listened

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to Harris's famous the wheels on the bus go round

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and round explanation of time zones the best part, Rogan said,

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Harris isn't good in unscripted situations, which might explain why

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her campaign was as chaotic as a Walmart on Black Friday.

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She's apparently great at prerehearsed speeches, though you know the

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political equivalent of using training wheels. A reminder that this

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entire show is parody, so stop getting so upset at

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the jokes, a lot of which were written with the

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help of AI. You're mad at a computer. You sound

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crazier than a guy who nominated Matt Gates for Attorney General.