Aug. 1, 2025

Trump Revives Presidential Fitness Test, Kamala Harris Plots a Comeback, and the Smithsonian Edits History

Show Notes
Transcript

From sit-ups to spin zones, President Trump brings back the Presidential Fitness Test with help from WWE, golf pros… and a convicted sex offender. Meanwhile, Kamala Harris launches her 107-day campaign memoir and hints at a 2028 run, to the GOP’s delight. Democrats remain rudderless as Hunter Biden hits the podcast circuit and the Smithsonian quietly scrubs Trump’s impeachments from its exhibits.

If you’re wondering how to lose an election in under four months, Kamala’s got you covered.

Portions of today’s show were made with the help of AI and “release the Epstein files.”

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Callaroga Shark media.

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From Washington, DC, where I'd like to see you run

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a six minute mile.

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Buddy, this is ballet and yay. Kamala is back, says,

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no one, let's hit this.

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President Trump brought back the Presidential Fitness Test this week,

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and I have to.

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Say this takes me back. Remember this thing. You had

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to do?

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Sit ups, push ups, run a mile, basically everything that

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made you realize you were not, in fact the athlete

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you thought you were. Trump announced this alongside his new

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sports Council, which includes some interesting choices. We've got professional

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golfer Bryson Deshambeau, which makes sense. Guy hits a golf

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ball really far. We've got WWE's triple h also logical.

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He knows about all natural physical performance. And then we

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have Lawrence Taylor, who is a registered sex offender. Now

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I'm not saying that's the first qualification you look for

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when assembling a youth fitness council, but here we are.

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The President explained his love of sports by saying, when

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you are really focused on sports, you've thought about nothing else.

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To an extent, this is one of the reasons I

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like golf. You get away for a couple of hours,

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which is basically Trump admitting that golf is his form

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of meditation, except instead of finding inner peace, he finds

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sand traps. The fitness test will be administered by Health

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Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Junior, who I'm sure has some

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very specific ideas about what constitutes peak physical condition. Okay, kids,

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first we're going to test your one mile run time.

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Then we're going to test your ability to identify chemtrails.

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Lawrence Taylor took the microphone at the signing ceremony and said,

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I'm just proud to be on this team. I don't

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know why, I don't know what we're supposed to be doing,

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but I'm here to serve. That's the kind of confidence

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you want from someone helping design youth fitness programs. Complete

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bewilderment about the assignment. Kansas City chiefs kicker Harrison Butcker

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was also there, fresh off his controversial commencement speech where

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he told female graduates they were probably more excited about

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getting married than having careers, so naturally, he's the perfect

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person to help encourage young girls to participate in athletics.

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The President said this is preparation for hosting the twenty

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twenty five Ryder Cup, twenty twenty six World Cup, and

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twenty twenty eight Olympics. Apparently the key to international sporting

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success is making sure American twelve year olds can do

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more sit ups.

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How did we lose the World Cup?

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Well, our midfielder could only do forty seven push ups

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instead of fifty. The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History

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quietly removed references to Trump's two impeachments from their Presidential

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exhibit in July, And honestly, this is the kind of

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historical revisionismism that would make George Orwell reach for his laptop.

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The museum had a temporary label up since September twenty

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twenty one that mentioned Trump's impeachments alongside those of Andrew

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Johnson and Bill Clinton, plus Nixon's near impeachment, But now

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that's gone, and the exhibit just says only three presidents

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have seriously faced removal, which is technically true if you

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don't count the guy who was actually impeached twice. The

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Smithsonian claims this was just part of the updating content

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that hadn't been refreshed since two thousand and eight. Right,

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Because when you're updating a presidential exhibit, the first thing

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you do is remove the most recent presidential news. That's

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like updating your phone and deleting all your photos from

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the last four years. Only three, but we don't have

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time to mention their names. Trump signed an executive order

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in March to eliminate anti American ideology from Smithsonian Museums

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and restore them as symbols of American greatness. We're going

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to make America's museums great again by pretending certain things

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never happened, the museum spokesperson said. Updating a large gallery

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requires significant time and funding, but somehow they found the

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time and funding to remove Trump's impeachments. Democrats are trying

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to move on from their twenty twenty four election losses,

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but their biggest names keep popping back up like a

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game of political whack a mole. Kamala Harris just announced

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she's writing a book about her campaign called one hundred

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and seven Days, which is either the title or how

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long it felt to voters. Harris appeared on The Late

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Show Thursday night for her first interview since the election,

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and she's not ruling out another White House run in

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twenty twenty eight. She's also planning to campaign for Democrats

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in the twenty twenty six midterms, which has Republicans excited.

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As one GOP spokesperson put it, we'd offer to pay

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for her plane ticket to any swing district in the country. Meanwhile,

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Joe Biden gave a speech to the National Bar Association

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where he called these dark days and said Trump's administration

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was doing its best to dismantle the constitution. Biden's been

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making periodic public appearances, which some Democrats wish he'd stop doing.

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One consultant said they're concerned about Biden trying to relitigate

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his presidency, which is political speak for please stop talking.

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And then there's Hunter Biden, who's been on podcasts settling

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scores and attacking everyone from political consultants to George Clooney

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for criticizing his father. As one Democratic strategist put it,

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no one needs to hear from Hunter Biden, literally, no one,

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One Democratic strategist said, potential twenty twenty eight candidates need

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to be honest about twenty twenty four or risk losing

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credibility if you say anything other than the guy was

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not up to the task of running again, and our

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party made a mistake in not making that clear. Voters

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are going to think you're lying. I say, don't worry

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about that. If you're running for office, I just assume

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that you're lying. The party finds itself in what one

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strategist called a rudderless period, comparing it to after John

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Carey's loss in two thousand and four. They're waiting for

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their Barack Obama moment, but instead they're getting hunter in

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podcast appearances and Kamala Harris book tours. Harris's book promises

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a behind the scenes look at running the shortest presidential

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campaign in modern history. I'm sure it'll be a riveting

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read about how to lose an election in one hundred

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and seven days. Chapter one, how to replace the nominee

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after a disastrous debate. Chapter two, Why calling Trump supporters

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garbage wasn't great messaging. One Silicon Valley Democratic strategist put

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it perfectly. The core reason the Democratic Party is in

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the position it is in today is because no new figures,

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no new ideas, have been allowed to rise up and

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take hold. Chuck Schumer probably disagrees. The Democrats want to

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turn the page, but they keep reading from the same

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chapter and until they find their next generation of leaders.

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They're stuck in a sequel nobody asked for. Twenty twenty four,

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the revenge portions of today's show were made with the

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help of AI and release the Epstein files.