Sept. 25, 2025

Trump Replaces Biden's Portrait With An Autopen While Demanding UN Investigate The Escalator

Show Notes
Transcript

Patrick Gutfield covers the week's most absurd political theater: Anonymous artists install a bronze statue of Trump and Epstein holding hands on the National Mall (spoiler: it doesn't last), Trump replaces Biden's presidential portrait with a picture of an autopen machine in his new "Walk of Fame," and the President demands a UN investigation into "triple sabotage" involving a broken escalator, malfunctioning teleprompter, and bad audio. Plus, why every political distraction seems designed to avoid one topic: releasing the Epstein files.

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Callaroga Shark Media from Washington, d C. Where we'll release

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the Epstein files. This is ballad. They've tried their best

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to distract everyone and it worked for a week. But

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let's hit this. Now that Kimmelgate is over, we can

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get back to releasing the Epstein files. Hi, I'm Patrick

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Gutfield and an anonymous group of artists. The side of

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the National Mall needed more awkward bronze moments and installed

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a statue called best Friends Forever, showing Trump and Jeffrey

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Epstein holding hands. The plaque celebrates their long lasting bond

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and calls Epstein Trump's closest friend, which is about as

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subtle as a brick through a window. The timing is perfect.

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Right as people are calling for the full release of

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Epstein files. Nothing says let's have a calm, rational discussion

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about government transparency, like a bronze statue of two controversial

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figures having a moment on the lawn in front of

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the Capitol. Trump and Epstein were neighbors and Florida back

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in the eighties and hung out regularly. They flew around together,

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appeared at parties, the usual wealthy guy social circuit stuff.

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Then in two thousand and four, they had some falling

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out over a real estate deal, because apparently even friendships

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among the ultra rich come down to property disputes. When

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Epstein got arrested in twenty nineteen, Trump was quick to

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distance himself, saying I had a falling out with him

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a long time ago. Trump even filed a defamation lawsuit

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against The Wall Street Journal in July over an article

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claiming he gave Epstein a drawing of a naked woman

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for his fiftieth birthday. That's a very specific thing to

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sue about. Most people argue over whether they borrowed twenty dollars,

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but here we are with naked lady drawings as legal evidence.

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The National Park Service actually issued a permit for this

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thing to stay up until Sunday at eight pm. The

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stated purpose on the application to demonstrate freedom of speech

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and artistic expression using political imagery. That's bureaucratic language for

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we can't stop people from being weird with bronze. This

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is the same anonymous group that brought us other greatest

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hits like Dictator approved a sculpture featuring supportive quotes from Putin,

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Victor Orbon, and Kim Jong Un. They also did that

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replica of Nancy Pelosi's desk with fake poop on it,

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paying tribute to January sixth. These artists really have a

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theme going awkward political moments rendered in permanent materials. The

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Washington Post got tipped off by someone claiming to be

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one of the artists, though they can't confirm his identity.

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He's like the Banksy of uncomfortable political bronze work, except

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instead of stencils on walls, its statues of people holding

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hands in the most loaded way possible. The Parks Department

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hauled it away. They claimed it violated the permit terms,

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though they didn't specify exactly how. Maybe there's a no

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creepy bronze dancing clause in the fine print. So Trump

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just unveiled his latest White House project, the Presidential Walk

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of Fame, which sounds less like presidential history and more

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like something you'd find on Hollywood Boulevard next to SpongeBob Star.

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The walkway features black and white portraits of presidents in

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gold frames along the West wing colonnade. Very dignified, very traditional,

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except for one tiny detail. Instead of Joe Biden's presidential portrait,

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Trump hung up a picture of an autopen, yes, the

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machine that signs documents automatically. This stems from Trump's ongoing

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obsession with Biden's use of the autopen for official documents.

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Trump ordered an investigation into Biden's cognitive decline back in June,

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complete with a memo calling for a probe into whether

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people conspired to hide Biden's mental state. Nothing says moving

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forward like relitigating your predecessor's signature habits. Biden dismissed the

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whole thing at the time, saying, let me be clear,

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I made the decisions during my presidency. But apparently Trump

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wasn't satisfied with that explanation. So now visitors to the

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West Wing get to see a photo of office equipment

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where a president's portrait should be. Trump had telegraphed this

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move weeks ago in an interview with The Daily Caller,

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saying we'll put up a picture of the auto pen

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when asked about Biden's portrait. At least he kept his word.

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That's consistency and pettiness. The White House Press Corps noticed

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the setup coming together this week, with a gold banner

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reading Presidential Walk of Fame hanging above brown paper squares

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on the wall very mysterious, very dramatic reveal. Chris Maher,

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Biden's former deputy press secretary, took a shot at the priorities,

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continually impressed at how laser focused the White House continues

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to be. On Trump's Day one promise to lower prices. Translation,

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glad to see we're focusing on the important stuff like

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the portrait politics instead of you know, governing. Now, before

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you get annoyed at this, just remember it's one more

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thing to distract you from Trump not releasing the Epstein files.

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So President Trump is officially escalated escalator Gate into an

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international incident, demanding the United Nations investigate what he's calling

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triple sabotage during his visit. We've gone from a minor

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technical hiccup to a full blown conspiracy theory in record time.

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Trump posted on truth Social that not one, not two,

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but three very sinister events occurred during his un trip.

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First the escalator stopped, then his teleprompter malfunctioned, and finally

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he says the sound was completely off. That's right. Trump

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is treating routine technical difficulties like they're the Pentagon papers.

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He's particularly dramatic about the escalator incident. It's amazing that

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Milania and I didn't fall forward onto the sharp edges

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of these steel steps face first. He credits their tight

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grip on the handrail for preventing what would have been

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a disaster. Most people would call this walking upstairs, where

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Trump's treating it like surviving a death trap. The teleprompter

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broke fifteen minutes into his hour long speech, forcing him

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to read from printed remarks. The horror a politician having

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to use paper notes instead of a screen. That hasn't

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happened since well most of human history. Trump's convinced this

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was all coordinated. This wasn't a coincidence. This was triple

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sabotage at the UN. He's demanding an immediate investigation and

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wants all security tapes from the escalator saved, especially the

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emergency stop button. The Secret Service is apparently involved now,

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because nothing says national security threat like malfunctioning audio visual equipment.

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How about you's look into serious things like Jeffrey Epstein,

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you know, the guy photographed with Donald Trump released the

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Epstein files, and yeah, we use some AI today.