June 23, 2025

Trump Iran Hack Job: Trump’s Iran Strike Triggers Cyber Panic, Nobel Bragging, and a History Do-Over

Show Notes
Transcript

Patrick Gutfield tackles today’s triple-header of controversy: DHS and security pros warn Iranian hackers could retaliate for Trump’s “massive precision strikes,” the former president demands credit for four-or-five Nobel Peace Prizes on Truth Social, and a new directive orders National Parks to spin slavery, internment camps, and Jim Crow into feel-good patriotism—complete with QR-code snitch lines. From proxy-war cyber fears to a “sunny” rewrite of the Trail of Tears, Patrick serves up sharp snark on the latest twists in American politics.

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Caalaroka Shark Media from New York City, where it's hot

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as hell. This is ballot that's right, and download your

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podcast in case the grids go down, Let's hit this.

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I'm Patrick Gutfield, And after Trump's massive precision strikes on Iran,

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Everyone's suddenly very concerned about what happens next. And by everyone,

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I mean the Department of Homeland Security, cybersecurity experts, and

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probably your neighbor who just learned what a proxy war is.

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The big worry right now Iranian hackers deciding to take

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revenge on American infrastructure, which sounds terrifying until you realize

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we're talking about the same country that couldn't keep their

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own nuclear facilities from getting hacked by a computer worm

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called Stuck's Net. But sure, they're definitely going to bring

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down our power grid. Homeland Security just issued a bulletin

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warning that Iranian cyber actors will probably prioritize retaliatory attacks

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against Israeli targets, but might also go after US networks

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probably prioritize. That's the kind of confidence inspiring language you

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want to hear when discussing potential cyber warfare. We think

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they'll probably attack Israel first, but hey, they might come

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for us too. Who knows it's Iran. The Center for

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Internet Security is particularly worried about crude or escalatory tactics.

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Crude tactics from Iran stop the presses, what's next? Are

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we going to be shocked? When they use strongly worded

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statements at the United Nations. Here's where it gets interesting, though.

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They're warning that Iran might use their network of proxy

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groups to strike US interest in the Middle East. These

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groups are described as less sophisticated but still capable of

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disrupting infrastructure. So basically, they're the discount version of Iranian

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military forces, the Great Value brand of international terrorism. The

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report mentions that back in twenty eighteen, experts said Iran

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sponsored terror on US soil was unlikely unless we attacked Iran. Well, congratulations, everyone,

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we just checked that box. It's like reading the warning

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label after you've already stuck your finger in the electrical socket.

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And just to add some historical context, when we killed

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Iranian General Cassim Soleimani in twenty twenty, Iran responded by

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hitting US bases, so we know their playbook. We hit them,

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they hit our stuff in their neighborhood. It's like the

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world's most dangerous game of Tit for tat. So here

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we are. Trump bombs Iran, Iran's probably going to hack something,

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and we're all just sitting here wondering if our water

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treatment plants are about to start playing Persian music. Trump

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took to truth Social this week to share his thoughts

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on the Nobel Peace Prize, specifically all the reasons he

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should have won by now, and honestly, the man makes

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a compelling case if you ignore literally everything about how

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these awards work. Trump rattled off his greatest hits, stopping

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wars between India and Pakistan, Serbia and Kosovo, keeping peace

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betwre in Egypt and Ethiopia, and of course, the Abraham Accords.

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He wrapped it all up with the kind of humble

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confidence only he can muster. No, I won't get a

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Nobel Peace Prize no matter what I do, including Russia, Ukraine,

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and Israel, Iran, whatever those outcomes may be. But the

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people know, and that's all that matters to me. Now.

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Pakistan actually stepped up and said they're nominating him for

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the twenty twenty six award, which is nice, though I

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have to wonder if this is the same Pakistan that's

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been dealing with those India attentions he claims to have solved.

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But hey, diplomacy is complicated. Earlier that day, Trump told

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reporters he should have gotten the prize four or five

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times already four or five times. That's not confidence. That's

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a man who's clearly been keeping a very detailed scorecard.

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I imagine there's a whiteboard somewhere in mar A Lago

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with Nobel Prizes owed five written in sharpie. The funniest

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part is Trump listing all these conflicts like he's reading

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his resume at a job interview for World Peace Coordinator. Well,

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I stopped this war, prevented that one, kept these two

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countries from fighting. It's the international relations equivalent of saying

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you're fluent in Spanish when you can order a brito. Look.

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Previous presidents who won this thing include Teddy Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson,

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Jimmy Carter, and Barack Obama. That's some serious company, though

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Obama got his in two thousand and nine pretty much

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for not being George W. Bush, so the bar isn't

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always astronomically high. The real kicker, Trump ended his truth

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social posts by mentioning Russia and Ukraine, then apparently decided

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to bomb Iran, which raises the question is this helping

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or hurting his nobel chances? Hard to say, but I'm

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guessing the committee has some thoughts about timing. President Trump

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has ordered the National Park Service to rewrite history at

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national parks and monuments, instructing them to scrub any language

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that might be considered negative or unpatriotic. The new signs

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must emphasize America's extraordinary heritage and unmatched record of advancing liberty.

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Now I'm not a historian, but telling the story of

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Japanese American internment camps while emphasizing our unmatched record of

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advancing liberty seems like trying to describe the Titanic as

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a successful ice breaking expedition. The administration wants park employees

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to put a sunny spin on slavery, Jim Crow laws,

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and civil rights struggles. That's not revisionist history, that's historical

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fan fiction. They've even put up QR codes at places

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like Mansanar, the Japanese American Internment camp, so visitors can

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report any signs that are negative about past or living Americans.

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Nothing says Land of the Free. Quite like encouraging people

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to snitch on historical accuracy. What's next? A suggestion box

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at Gettysburg asking visitors to rate the Civil Wars customer service.

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The order specific targets any signage put up since January

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twenty twenty, Claiming the Biden administration promoted a false reconstruction

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of American history, Trump called out the National Historical Park

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in Philadelphia for apparently being too harsh on our founding principles.

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I guess the Liberty Bell needs a better publicist. The

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whole thing has left park employees wondering how they're supposed

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to make historical atrocities sound uplifting. What's the positive spin

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on the Trail of tears scenic relocation adventure? How do

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you describe slavery as part of our consistent progress toward

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becoming a more perfect union unpaid internship program with housing included,

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As one park advocate put it, if we lose these

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difficult stories, we're in danger of repeating these mistakes. But

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apparently we're more worried about hurting America's feelings than learning

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from America's past. Who knew our national heritage was so fragile,

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it couldn't handle the truth. Portions of today's program were

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made with the help of AI that hasn't been compromised

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by Iran.