Dec. 12, 2025

Trump Halts Oval Office Meeting for Shoe-Size Roast as JD Vance Spills Wild Christmas Party Story

Show Notes
Transcript

Vice President JD Vance says President Trump once stopped an “important” Oval Office meeting to announce a more pressing topic — “Shoes” — before telling top officials they had “shitty shoes” and whipping out a shoe catalogue he apparently keeps at the Resolute Desk. Trump then asked for everyone’s sizes, used the moment to make a not-so-subtle anatomy joke about a size-seven colleague, and left Vance joking about his own measurements in front of the Second Lady. The tale echoes Trump’s infamous 2016 “no problem” debate line and adds a new chapter to the Rubio-hand saga — now with the former rival serving as Secretary of State and getting roasted for his footwear. Somewhere, a size-seven lawmaker is begging Santa for a quieter December.

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Callaroga Shark media from Washington, DC, where one should dress

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nice before arguing with your wife. This is ballot, that's right,

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and remember this number about me for later fourteen. Let's

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hit this. I'm Patrick Guttfield and Vice President JD. Vance

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had to go online this week to clarify that a

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viral photo of him apparently screaming at his wife in

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a restaurant was fake. The image was ai generated. We've

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reached the point where the vice president has to issue

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statements denying fights that never happened in restaurants. He was

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never In his response, I always wear an undershirt when

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I go out in public to have a fight loudly

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with my wife. That's how you know it's fake. The

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dress code was wrong, not I wasn't there or that's

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not me. No, the problem is he'd never yell at

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his wife while wearing a T shirt. He has standards.

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The photo was shared by a Facebook influencer who disc

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ribes himself as someone who busts Republicans dumbasses on the daily.

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That's his bio. He's made fighting with strangers on the

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Internet his entire personality, and when confronted about spreading a

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fake image, he said, it is impossible to discern when

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the boy who cried wolf is lying and telling the truth.

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That's not a defense, that's just admitting you don't care

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if things are real. Online AI detectors found the image

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was likely fabricated. We need AI to detect AI. Now

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it's artificial intelligence checking artificial intelligence's homework. This isn't even

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the first time Vance has had to defend his marriage.

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In October, he said he hopes his Hindu wife eventually

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converts to Christianity, which went over exactly as well as

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you'd think. Then Usha was spotted without her wedding ring

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and the Internet lost its mind. Vance's explanation, she forgot

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it when they were rushing to the White House. She

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actually said, if I don't go back and get them,

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there's going to be some ridiculous psycho who talks about

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it on social media. And he told her not to bother,

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so she predicted the conspiracy theories. He ignored her warning,

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and then the conspiracy theories happened exactly as predicted. That's

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not getting ahead of the stories, that's just choosing to lose.

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Vance says, they get a kick out of it, and

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thought the whole viral social media cycle was kind of funny. Sure,

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nothing says we're having fun, like the Vice President of

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the United States needing to tweet that a photo of

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him fighting with his wife is fake because the shirt

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is wrong. The couple has been married since twenty fourteen

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and has three kids. They're dealing with fake photos, religious

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conversion speculation, and missing wedding ring theories. Most couples argue

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about whose turn it is to do the dishes. These

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two have to worry about AI creating evidence of arguments

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that never happened. Welcome to modern politics, where the scandals

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aren't real, but the denials have to be. The Vice

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President's family just revealed their holiday decorating secrets, and apparently

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five year old Vivic Vance requested a really skinny tree

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with bare spots that leaned. The kid literally asked for

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a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Most children want presents under

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the tree. This one wants the tree itself to look depressed,

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and they actually got him one. There's now a sad

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little tree upstairs at the Naval Observatory while the nice

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trees are downstairs for the guests. The Vances are running

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a two tier Christmas system. Instagram trees for visitors, existential

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crisis tree for the family. Meanwhile, their eight year old

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son has been going around telling his classmates that Santa

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isn't real. He's like the world's smallest atheist missionary. The

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good news is the other kids basically argued him down,

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so his truth telling crusade failed. Nothing says holiday spirit

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like third graders defending Santa Claus through peer pressure, and

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now five year old Vivek has basically figured it out

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because his brother has a big mouth on The three

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year old still believes she's the last believer in a

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household where Christmas magic goes to die one sibling at

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a time. Second Lady Usha Vance says their kids were

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a little bit obsessed with the Nightmare before Christmas, which

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she describes as a little bit deranged. That's the Tim

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Burton movie where the Halloween guy kidnaps Santa. So the

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Vice President's children went from watching skeletal figures terrorize Christmas

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to requesting depressed trees. The trajectory checks out. The family

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cut down their own tree in Lexington, Kentucky, because apparently

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buying a sad tree isn't authentic enough. You have to

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murder your own sad tree. Vice President JD. Vance gave

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a speech at a Christmas party this week where he

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told a story about President Trump stopping an important Oval

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Office meeting to discuss everyone's shoe sizes. Because nothing says

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Leader of the Free World like interrupting national security briefings

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to talk about footwear. According to Vance, they were discussing

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something really, really important when Trump suddenly announced there was

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something much more important, shoes. The President of the United

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States looked over the resolute desk, the desk where Kennedy

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managed the Cuban missile crisis. Then Trump pulled out a

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shoe catalog. The president keeps a shoe catalog in the

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Oval Office. That's a thing that exists. Now. Trump promised

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to gift everyone four pairs of shoes, so he asked

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for their sizes. Marco Rubio said eleven and a half.

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Vance said thirteen. Then an unnamed politician who Vance wouldn't

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embarrass by naming, even though he's literally about to embarrass him,

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said seven. Seven. That's when Trump kind of leans back

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in his chair and says, you know, you can tell

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a lot about a man by his shoe size. The

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President made a dick joke in the Oval office about

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a colleague based on shoe size. Vance then looked at

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his wife, second Lady Usha Vance, and said, we won't

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ask the second lady for comment on that particular topic.

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He made his wife part of the punchline at a

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Christmas party, Merry Christmas, honey, I just implied things about

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my anatomy to a room full of strangers while you

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stood next to me. The whole story is unhinged. They

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were supposed to be discussing something important, but instead Trump

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turned it into a shoe intervention followed by anatomical speculation,

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and Vance told this story like it was charming. People

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ask me what it's like to be vice president, Well,

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apparently it involves your boss critiquing your footwear and then

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making penis jokes about a colleague who wears size seven shoes.

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The best part this isn't even Trump's first time with

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this material. Back in twenty sixteen, Marco Rubio suggested Trump

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had small hands, and Trump responded at a debate by saying,

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I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee the man

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defended his manhood during a presidential debate, and now he's

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president again. Still doing the same bit, except this time

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he's using shoes sizes as the setup. Rubio, by the way,

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is now Secretary of State. The guy who mocked Trump's

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hands is now into the cabinet getting his shoes insulted.

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That's either forgiveness or the world's longest revenge arc. And

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somewhere out there is a politician who wears size seven shoes,

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knowing the vice president told hundreds of people at a

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Christmas party that the president thinks his penis is small.

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That guy is having a rough December. Portions of today's

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show were made with the help of Ai