Trump gives rambling reaction, Rosie O'Donnell gloats, Jill Biden heads to Milwaukee's Festa Italiana

Calaroga Shark Media from New York, where life is unfair, but hey, you're guilty. This is valid. Today we're covering the big story. Doctor Jill Biden is hitting up Milwaukee's famous Festa Italiana this weekend. Oh and Trump gave a rambling speech about his thirty four felony convictions. I guess we should cover that too. Let's hit this well, well, well, sounds like someone is doing a whole lot of flailing and finger pointing in the aftermath of that historic criminal conviction. You just know Donald Trump wasn't going to take that guilty verdict lying down. Leave it to the former president to emerge from his gaudy Trump Tower layer and proceed to go full oblivion mode with some truly unhinged ramblings about the highly conflicted judge who darehold him accountable, calling Judge Merchant a devil disguised as an angel. Wow. Not exactly a gracious loser here, folks. But of course, no Trump conniption fit would be complete without lobbing some unsubstantiated accusations that the supposed puppet masters really pulling the strings Biden and his people, because obviously the president himself masterfully coordinated this entire legal witch hunt from the shadows, cackling maniacally as his sick and fascist henchman did his bidding in that Manhattan courtroom. I mean, let's be real, we all know how intimately hands on sleepy Joe is when it comes to legal prosecutions and courtroom minutia. He definitely didn't just you know, stay completely out of it because of that whole independence of the justice system thing. Nope, it was one hundred percent Biden's sinister machinations. Though I do love Trump's little cell phone in that quote where he openly acknowledges Biden probably doesn't know too much about anything that's actually happening in his own administration. So much for being a diabolical criminal mastermind, I guess, and you just knew Trump's rant had to devolve into airing out some real You guys are being so unfair to me. Grievance is about the judge's rulings. Apparently, not letting your election expert take the stand to improperly instruct the jury on laws is a bridge too far. Now, someone fetch the Fairness Commissioner's stat All jokes aside, though, this is likely just the opening salvo in what's sure to be a bombardment of unrestrained anger, denial, and lashing out as Trump comes to grips with his new status as a convicted felon. The Pandora's box of sore, losing and voting grievances has been ripped open yet again. You can practically see the groundwork being laid to delegitimize the entire legal process as utterly rigged by nefarious Democrat actors. A highly conflicted judge in total conjunction with Biden sounds an awful lot like Trump's declaring the whole system irredeemably corrupt. Buckle up, folks, We're in for months of indignant ranting about sham trials, political persecutions, and judicial coups as Trump tries desperately to retain his anti establishment martyr credibility. Just another day of muddying the discourse with unfounded season unearned victimhood, and who knows, it may just be deranged and cynical enough to actually work in shoring up his stubborn base for twenty twenty four's main event. When your defense boils down to the devil made me do it. You have to throw literally everything against the wall and see what sticks. Jimmy Kimmel devoted his Thursday Night monologue to the verdict, while the other Late night guys took the week off oops. Eric Trump had posted on social media that yesterday may have been the day Trump won the twenty twenty four presidential election, or Kimmel joked, it'll be remembered as the day a jury in New York spanked your dad even harder than Stormy did with that Forbes magazine. And if we don't win, we'll say we want anyway. Listen, I have bad news. The only thing you're going to be fighting to win is the jello cup on your prison cafeteria. Tray Kimmel added, you do have to hand it to him. No president has ever been convicted more than Donald Trump. How long before he starts bragging about this? Rosie O'Donnell is getting the absolute last laugh in her long running legendary feud with Donald Trump. Leave it to the outspoken former view host to revel in the Donald's historic criminal conviction with all the subtlety of a flaming bag of dog poop. The Emmy winner wasted no time taking to Instagram to celebrate Trump's guilty verdict on those thirty four felony counts with some let's say cheeky memes editing Trump's mug onto Hannibal Lecter in a prison cell, clutching those pearls, Rosie using Count von count to literally tally up the convictions. You can practically hear Rosy cackle laughing I told you so through the screen as she basks in Trump's legal misery. Decades of pent up anger and insults just came bursting through in a glorious gloatfest. Of course, she had to shower some praise on her newfound bff Michael Cohen for his dramatic courtroom takedown of his former boss cult leader, because everyone loves a cooperative witness who dishes all the dirt, right Rosie. In a shocking turn of events, even renowned Trump critic R. Robert de Niro got a shout out from O'Donnell, who clearly appreciated the actor's foul mouthed rants against the former president. Nothing says we are the Resistance quite like an A list celebrity calling Trump an awful, hateful, mean spirited, vicious thing. But Let's be honest, none of this is really about Cohen's redemption arc or de Niro's grandstanding. This is Rosie's ultimate screw you to the man who tormented her for over fifteen years with his trademark misogynistic insults and body shaming vitriol. Of course, knowing Trump's camp, they're probably already working on some juvenile clapback, nicknaming Rosie something even more repugnant, like cankele O'Donnell the hugest, most disgusting slob in television mature stuff. As always every day, do I not tell you how portions of this program were created with the help of AI. I had nothing to do with putting the word Cankel in the script, but I do get paid well to read it. Some news stories that got lost in the shoff. It's great to see President Biden making his first state visit to France next week, coinciding with the solemn eightieth anniversary commemorations of the D Day landings in Normandy. There's something fitting about the leader of the free world paying respects at those hallowed grounds where the seeds of liberation were sown eight decades ago. Joe says he wished he could have helped out on D Day, but as he was already forty five years old in nineteen forty two, he was too old to serve. This isn't just a ceremonial trip down memory lane. With war once again raging on European soil, the talks between Biden and Macron will have an urgency and gravity befitting the setting. Shoring up steadfast support for Ukraine in the face of Russian aggression will undoubtedly top the agenda as the two leaders confer. Meanwhile, Jill Biden is getting in touch with her Italian roots by hitting up Milwaukee's famous Festa Italiana this weekend as the nation's first Italian American First Lady. You just know she's going to milk this opportunity for all it's worth. Can't you just picture it? Doctor Biden's strolling through the festival grounds, taking enthusiastic bites of canoli and gelato, while flawlessly pronouncing phrases like Juana, petito and chebella. Maybe she'll even break out into a few lusty verses of that's amore if she's really feeling it. Of course, the real test will be whether Jill can resist the urge to start aggressively pinching cheeks and smothering folks with excessive air kisses the moment she detects even a whiff of Italian heritage. Hey, yous look just like my cousin Vinnie from Paltin I Kid, I Kid. We all know. The First Lady is an absolute pro at these kinds of cultural celebration cameos. You can bet she'll definitely strike that balance of embracing the old country vibes while not delving too deeply into played out stereotypes. A little Sinatra on the portable speaker, maybe, but no, forget about it, Jersey accents capiche. Still, you do have to wonder if Jill's team fetters some grade a Italian grandma con to really sell the authenticity angle in her remarks. Listen, kids, when I was a little bambina, my nana used to pinch my cheeks so hard while hollering about the gravy being cold. Those were the days. Honestly, though, good for Doctor b getting out there and repping her roots. It's cool to see the First Lady unabashedly embracing her background and heritage, even if she does get a little carried away with the bada being shtick every now and then. Besides, we all know the real move here. The Bidens are just buttering up some very key demographics and communities in the all important swing state of Wisconsin ahead of twenty twenty four's main event. An Italian festival stop over today could very well translate to precious and Nona votes secured down the road. But who can be too cynical about it all when the promise of unlimited car bloating and red sauce stained fingers looms large. Not this proud Italian American, that's for sure. So Mangia, Jill, just try not to come back to the White House wreaking of too much parmesan. Maybe tomorrow I can finally get to the now buried news story of but Trump allegedly using the N word. In a normal universe, that would not only be the lead, but would be three days of news in of itself. But hey, we need to cover Jill eating pasta. I guess I'm working tomorrow. See you then, if not sooner,