Trump challenges Biden to golf outing, George Clooney bails on Biden
Another crazy one: Trump challenges Biden to golf, Joe's losing all of Hollywood starting with George Clooney, and I'm having flashbacks about my ex-girlfriend and with all that there's still not time to tell you which candidate allegedly ate a dog!...
Another crazy one: Trump challenges Biden to golf, Joe's losing all of Hollywood starting with George Clooney, and I'm having flashbacks about my ex-girlfriend and with all that there's still not time to tell you which candidate allegedly ate a dog!
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Calaroga Shark media from Washington, DC, where Joe Biden looks like Rocky in
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the eleventh round. This is valid, that's right, Joe's lost Hollywood,
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and Trump's ex wife wants to be
VP. Sheeesh, let's hit this well.
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I guess we're not going to get
to the dog eating story again.
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Today's wacky. In a move that
makes political theater look like a dull episode
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of c SPAN, former President Donald
Trump has thrown down the gauntlet and challenged
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President Joe Biden to a golf match. And because nothing says high stakes like
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a presidential golf off, Trump is
up the ante with a one million dollars
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charity bed if he loses. Classy
as always, Speaking at a rally in
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Durral, Florida, Trump dared Biden
to an eighteen hole showdown on his home
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turf, the infamous Blue Monster Course. I'm officially challenging Crooked Joe to a
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golf match right here, Trump declared. It'll be bigger than the Ryder Cup,
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maybe even the Masters. Sure,
Donnie, because everyone loves watching two
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step to ad genarians in a high
stakes golf grudge match, Trump never won
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to shy away from hyperbole, generously
offered Biden ten strokes aside, that's twenty
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strokes, folks, in case you
don't play golf, and if he wins,
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I'll give one million dollars to the
charity of his choice, he bragged.
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And I'll bet you he doesn't take
the offer. Biden's camp, led
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by spokesperson James Singer, wasn't about
to let Trump swing away unchallenged. Singer
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clapped back with a zinger filled statement
likening Trump's antics to everything from inviting fictional
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serial killers to dinner to cozying up
to putin. Joe Biden doesn't have time
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for Donald Trump's weird antics. He's
busy leading America and defending the free world.
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The golf smack talk all started during
their June twenty seventh debate, when
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Trump claimed he won two club championships
and suggested Biden couldn't drive a ball fifty
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yards. Biden countered, boasting his
handicap was a six as VP, later
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adjusting to an eight. Trump,
ever, the skeptic, called it the
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biggest lie he's ever heard, noting
his own handicap has been as low as
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two point five. To add another
layer of ridiculousness. US Open champion Bryson
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Deschambeau offered to host the match on
his YouTube channel. Let's settle this whole
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handicap debate, he posted, because
why not turn this political farce into a
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social media spectacle. Now. I'm
all in favor of this, as it
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will make awesome content. My only
ask is that they do it on a
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Tuesday afternoon, not the weekend,
because I'm sick of working weekends and i
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have a feeling I'm working this weekend
again, Thanks Joe. Donald Trump's ex
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wife Marla Maples has declared she's ready
to lend a hand to his twenty twenty
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four re election campaign and hold onto
your golf caps even as his vice president
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if need be, Yes, you
heard that right. In an interview with
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The Evening Standard, Maples, the
second missus Trump, giggled at the suggestion
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of becoming his running mate, but
didn't slam the door on the idea.
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Someone would. I'd have to ask
my ex husband about that, she coyly
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noted, I'm open to whatever way
that I can serve. Nothing says family
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reunion like a VP nod from your
ex. Maples, who tied the knot
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with Trump in nineteen ninety three and
untied it six years later. Says she's
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fully behind his twenty twenty four bid. She even brushed off his recent legal
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woes, dismissing the jury's decision that
found him liable for sexual abuse against writer
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E. Gene Carroll. I didn't
think there was a crime done, She
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defended, displaying a loyalty that only
a former spouse or reality TV star could
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muster. The couple's history isn't without
its bumps. Maples admitted that their marriage
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played out in the media spotlight was
challenging, a sentiment that probably won't surprise
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anyone who's followed the Trump saga back
in the nineties. She even tried to
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talk Trump out of running for president, worried about the impact on their kids,
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and look how great they turned out. I don't know about you.
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I don't even want to look at
my ex girlfriend, never mind have her
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stand next to me at the Publican
national convention. Jimmy Fallon analyzed Trump's VP
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candidate, saying Trump needs someone who's
gonna help him win, so so right
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now the front runner is Joe Biden. Trump's campaign needs to win over women
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and minorities. Which is why he's
narrowed it down to two white guys.
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Seth Myers pointed out that Biden compared
Donald Trump to infamous GOP bigot George Wallace.
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That's right, he's fighting those age
allegations by making a joke about the
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governor of Alabama. In nineteen sixty
three, Seth added, in a call
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with donors, President Biden reportedly said
he's done talking about the debate bold strategy,
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considering that was also his strategy during
the debate. George Stephanopoulos just learned
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the hard way that sometimes it's best
to keep those spicy opinions to yourself.
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During a casual New York City stroll
in his workout gear, George got ambushed
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by a random pedestrian who asked if
Biden should step down. George, clearly
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not in full pr mode, blurted
out, I don't think he can serve
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four more years. Oops. That
little nugget went viral faster than a TikTok
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dance craze. And this is like
the fourth biggest story today. Not to
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mention, I can't even squeeze in
telling you which candidate allegedly ate a dog.
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George had to do some serious backpedaling, telling NBC News earlier today,
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I responded to a question from a
passer by I shouldn't have. ABC News
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also tried to cover their tracks,
saying George was just speaking for himself,
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not the network. Sure, ABC, whatever helps you sleep at night.
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This all went down just days after
George grilled Biden in a twenty two minute
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unedited interview on Good Morning America.
During the interview, George repeatedly questioned Biden's
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mental fitness after his train wreck of
a debate performance against Trump. Biden,
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in classic form, blamed his debate
flop on exhaustion and ignoring his own instincts.
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Yeah, because nothing says presidential like
not trusting your gut. In a
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move that's shaking up Hollywood and the
political world, George Clooney, once a
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staunch supporter and major donor for President
Joe Biden, has dramatically called for Biden
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to step aside from the presidential race. I love Joe Biden, Clooney penned
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in a New York Times op ed, showcasing his deep admiration and long standing
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relationship with Biden as a senator,
as a vice president, and as president.
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I consider him a friend, and
I believe in him. But Clooney
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didn't mince words about Biden's current state, lamenting that the Biden he saw at
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the June fifteenth fundraiser was a shadow
of his former self. He was the
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same man we all witnessed at the
debate, Clooney said, referencing Biden's abysmal
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performance at the June twenty seventh presidential
debate. For Clooney, it was clear
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Biden's struggles weren't just an off night. They were indicative of a deeper issue.
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The timing of this piece is brutal
for Biden, coming just as Democrats
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from Congress to Hollywood start pushing for
a new candidate. Clooney's voice is particularly
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influential given his role in rallying donor
and celebrity support. His op ed isn't
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just an opinion, it's a rallying
cry for the Democratic heavyweights to step in
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and nudge Biden out. Clooney's call
for Democrats like Chuck Schumer, Hakeem Jeffries,
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and Nancy Pelosi to urge Biden to
voluntarily step aside underscores the urgency.
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He name dropped potential successors like Kamala
Harris, Gretchen Whitmer, and Gavin Newsom,
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highlighting the need for fresh blood to
combat the existential threat to democracy posed
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by another Trump run. Hey,
Ronald Reagan was president once. Maybe everyone
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wants to vote for a good looking
Hollywood actor. Know anybody, George.
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The fallout from Clooney's piece is immediate. Fundraisers are being canceled, and cracks
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in Biden's support are growing more visible
by the hour. Rob Reiner, another
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Hollywood heavyweight, echoed clooney sentiments,
urging Biden to step down and make way
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for a younger, more vigorous candidate. I kind of want to see Rob
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Reiner debate Trump, but then again, I can just watch reruns of All
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in the Family. Portions of today's
program were made with the help of AI
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and my ex girlfriend Norma. AI
wrote the jokes, and the reason I
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sound nuts is because of Norma.
You know what I'm saying, See you tomorrow.