Dec. 11, 2025

Trump Brags About Dementia Tests in Midnight Rant as SC Prison Busts Crab-Leg Drone Drop

Show Notes
Transcript

President Trump lit up Truth Social with a late-night tirade boasting he’s taken more cognitive decline tests than any president ever — “aced” them, too — while blasting reporters as “treasonous” for questioning his health and demanding *The New York Times* shut down. The president challenged AOC to a cognition showdown, forgot details of his own exams, and brushed off a mysterious MRI as questions swirl about his mental fitness. Meanwhile in South Carolina, guards seized a drone carrying steak, crab legs, Old Bay, weed, and cigarettes into a prison — a full surf-and-turf smuggling attempt officials dubbed “Contraband Christmas.” From cognitive tests to crab legs in the sky, America continues to out-Florida itself.

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Callaroga Shark media from Washington, DC, where dementia is the

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word of the day. This is ballot, that's right, and

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I forgot what I was going to say. I'm Patrick Guttfield.

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And President Trump took to truth Social in a late

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night four hundred and eighty eight word rant to announce

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that he's taken more cognitive decline tests than any other

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president in history, and he's very proud of this fact.

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Most presidents brag about their legislative accomplishments or diplomatic victories.

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Trump's out here collecting cognitive tests like their Pokemon cards.

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In the post, Trump revealed he's aced three Montreal Cognitive assessments, which,

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for those who don't know, is a test designed to

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screen for early dementia or mild cognitive impairment. So the

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president's major achievement is repeatedly proving he doesn't have dementia.

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That's the bar now. He wrote that he took the

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test in front of large numbers of doctors and experts,

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most of whom I do not know, which sounds less

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like a medical exam and more like a game show.

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Trump explained that few people have been able to ace

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this examination, and in fact, most do very poorly, which

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is why many other presidents have decided not to take

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it at all. That's one way to spin it. Another

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way is that most presidents don't feel the need to

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repeatedly prove they can remember five words in a row.

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It's a different approach to leadership. The president first took

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the test back in twenty eighteen, after specifically requesting it

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from his physician, doctor Ronnie Jackson, to head off concerns

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about his mental fitness. He scored thirty out of thirty,

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which prompted Jackson to declare him fit for duty. A

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score of twenty six or above is considered normal, so

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Trump essentially got a B plus on a pass failed

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test and threw himself a parade. During his second term,

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Trump took the test two more times, once in April and

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once in October. After the April test, he couldn't recall

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any specifics about it. It's a pretty well known test.

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Whatever it is, I got everyone right. Nothing says sharp

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memory quite like not remembering what test you just took.

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Following the October exam, Trump said he found the test

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very hard and challenged Democratic representatives Jasmine Crockett and Alexandria

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Ocazio Cortez to take it and compare results, He told

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reporters on air Force One. Let aoc go against Trump.

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Let Jasmine go against Trump. Yes, the president wants to

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settle political differences through cognitive testing. Forget debates. Let's do

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memory games. First, one to forget where they parked their

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car loses the election. Trump also underwent an MRI during

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his October physical, initially telling reporters he had no idea

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what it was for. The White House later claimed it

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was a preventative measure due to his advanced age, which

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medical experts called suspicious. Since there's nothing standard about that scan.

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It's routine or it's not, but we're going with don't

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worry about it. Meanwhile, medical professionals and Trump's own family

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members have expressed concerns. Doctor John Gartner, a psychologist and

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former Johns Hopkins professor, told reporters Trump was displaying clinical

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signs of dementia. Trump's niece Mary compared him to his father,

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who had Alzheimer's for a very, very long time. There

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are times I look at him and I see my grandfather.

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I see that same look of confusion, which is a

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rough family assessment, but Trump used his truth social rant

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to claim that the New York Times reporting on his

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declining health was seditious, perhaps even treasonous. That's right. Journalism

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is now treason if it hurts the president's feelings. He

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called them true enemies of the people and suggested we

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should do something about it. Then he concluded the best

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thing that could happen to this country would be if

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the New York Times would cease publication. So to recap,

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Trump has taken three cognitive tests to prove he's mentally sharp,

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can't remember what was on one of them, called another

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one very hard, got an unexplained MRI, and responded to

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health concerns by calling for a newspaper to shut down.

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If that doesn't scream cognitive stability, I don't know what does.

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A drone tried to deliver steak and crablegs inmates at

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Lee Correctional Institution in South Carolina, but guards found the

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package first. The South Carolina Department of Corrections announced the

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seizure on social media with the hashtag contraband Christmas, which

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is either very clever or deeply sad, depending on how

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you feel about puns. The illicit meal included a raw

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steak still in grocery store packaging, crab legs, a tin

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of old Bay seasoning, plastic baggies of marijuana, and a

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couple of cartons of cigarettes. So somebody out there was

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planning the fanciest prison dinner since the Shawshank redemption. This

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wasn't just contraband. This was surf and turf with a

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side of felony charges. The drone was seized Sunday morning

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at the Bishopville prison. Authorities said they're investigating and no

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arrest have been made yet, which means somewhere out there

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is a very disappointed inmate who was promised to stake

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dinner and got nothing. That's the real crime here. Prison

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spokeswoman Christy Shane said, I'm guessing the inmates who were

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expecting the package are crabby. Yes, the official prison spokesperson

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made a crab pun tax dollars at work. Everyone. She

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saw her moment and she took it respect. Keeping contraband

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out of state prisons is apparently a constant battle. People

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used to toss packages over the fence or use catapults.

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Catapults to launch cell phones, drugs, and other items into

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the prison yard. That's medieval warfare tactics applied to modern crime.

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Somebody out there was building a trebuche in their backyard

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to smuggle cigarettes. That takes dedication. Prison officials responded by

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raising fences and adding netting at the top, so smugglers

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moved onto drones. It's an arms race, except instead of

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nuclear weapons, it's about getting weed and crab legs. Past

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security guards now have to constantly patrol the prison yard

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looking for tiny aircraft trying to drop packages. That's not

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a job description, that's a video game. Just flying a

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drone near a prison in South Carolina is a misdemeanor

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that carries up to thirty days in jail. Dropping contraband

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into the prison is a felony that can land you

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behind bars for ten years. Ten years. You could get

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a decade in prison for trying to deliver someone else's

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steak dinner. That's a harsh penalty for being a terrible

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door dash driver. So to recap, somebody spent money on steak,

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crab legs, old bay marijuana, and cigarettes, loaded it all

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onto a drone, flew it into a prison yard, and

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got caught before anyone could enjoy it. The steak is confiscated,

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the weed is gone, and somebody's Christmas dinner plans just

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turned into a potential felony charge. And the inmates who

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were waiting for their surf and turf they're eating whatever

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the cafeteria is serving, probably not krablegs. Portions of today's

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show were made with the help of Ai