March 7, 2025

Time Terrorist Patrick Gutfield DESTROYS America's Most HATED Tradition! His Take on Daylight Saving Will Leave You GASPING!

Show Notes
Transcript

Patrick Gutfield absolutely EVISCERATES the ridiculous tradition of Daylight Saving Time in his latest rant! From clueless farmers to Arizona's smugness, nothing is sacred in this BRUTAL takedown. Plus, read the SHOCKING listener mail that proves Americans are LOSING THEIR MINDS over losing an hour of sleep! You won't BELIEVE what the guy from Seattle has been getting away with for 15 YEARS!

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Calaruga Shark media.

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From Washington, DC, where it's almost time to change the clocks.

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This is ballant.

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Oh goodie, the twice a year debate on changing the clocks.

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How exciting. Let's hit this. Hi.

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I'm Patrick Gutfield, and well, it's that magical time of

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year again. No, not when the Easter bunny brings chocolate

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or when Sana slides down your chimney. It's when Americans

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collectively lose their minds over losing one hour of sleep.

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That's right.

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Daylight saving Time is coming back on March ninth to

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ruin your Sunday and make you late for church. You

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know what's fascinating about Daylight Saving Time. We've been doing

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this ridiculous clock dance since nineteen eighteen, and people still

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act surprised when it happens. What we have to change

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our clocks. This is outrageous. No one told me we

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do this twice every year. It's like being shocked that

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Christmas falls on December twenty fifth. On the bright side,

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the time change will delay the moment day becomes night

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for those hoping to walk their dogs outside before darkness falls,

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because apparently our dogs can't tell time and will be

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fooled by this human invented phenomenon. Hmmm, it's usually dark

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when I poop at six, but today it'd still light out.

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What sorcery is this? Did you know?

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Most people think daylight saving time was created for farmers.

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Turns out farmers actually hated it. They led the.

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Opposition in nineteen nineteen because shockingly, cows don't care what

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your apple watch says. They're ready to be milked when

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they're ready to be milked the sun, not some government

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mandate dictated farmers' schedules. Imagine that only two states have

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opted out of this madness, Hawaii and most of Arizona.

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Arizona looked at the situation and said, you want us

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to make sunset occur an hour later during the hottest

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months of the year in our desert climate, No.

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Thanks, we choose sanity.

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Meanwhile, the Navajo Nation within Arizona does observe daylight saving time,

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creating what I can only imagine is the most confusing

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place to schedule.

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A meeting in America.

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The Department of Transportation is in charge of daylight saving time. Yes,

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the same people who can't fix potholes are managing our

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national sleep schedule.

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They claim it reduces energy use in crime.

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You know what else would reduce crime, not making everyone

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collectively cranky by messing with their circadian rhythms. And here's

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a fun fact, Donald Trump hasn't passed any executive legislation

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to permanently end daylight saving time.

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I'm shocked.

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That seems like exactly the kind of thing he'd target.

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We're going to build a wall around the time itself

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and make the clocks pay for it. So mark your

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calendars for March ninth, when we'll all stumble around like

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zombies misappointments, and blame a practice that's been happening for

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over up one hundred years for our problems. And then

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we'll completely forget about it until November when we get

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to do the whole thing in reverse. Just remember it's saving,

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not savings, because apparently the only thing we're not saving

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is our collective sanity. All right, time for some listener mail.

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You know, we've been getting a ton of letters about

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daylight saving time. Let's see what America has to say

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about this deeply important issue. Our first letter comes from

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Brenda in Milwaukee. She writes, Dear Patrick, every year, my

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husband spends three hours changing all twenty seven clocks in

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our house when daylight saving time hits. We have clocks

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in every room, on every appliance, and even one in

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the shower. Is this normal, well, Brenda, No, that's not normal.

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That's a diagnosable condition called chronophilia. Your husband doesn't need

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daylight saving time, he needs therapy. Also, who needs a

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clock in the shower? Are you timing how long it

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takes the conditioner to work? Here's one from Todd in Phoenix.

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Dear Patrick, As an Arizona I feel superior watching the

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rest of you deal with daylight saving time twice a year.

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While you're all complaining about losing sleep, I'm enjoying consistent

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unchanging time like a rational human being.

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Just wanted to let you know. Thanks for the letter. Todd.

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You know Arizona also.

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Has scorpions, temperatures of one hundred and fifteen degrees, and

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is basically one giant piece of sandpaper pretending to be

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a state. So enjoy your consistent time while you're being

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stung and spontaneously combusting from heat. Dear Patrick, I have

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a brilliant solution for the daylight saving time debate. Instead

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of moving the clocks forward, or backward by an hour.

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Why don't we compromise and just move them by thirty

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minutes once and be done with it forever, Margaret, that's

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the most Boston solution I've ever heard. Let's take two

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opposing viewpoints and make everyone equally unhappy. Why stop there?

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Maybe we could just have different time zones for Democrats

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and Republicans, the Blue hour and the Red hour. Traffic

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would be a nightmare, but at least we'd be compromising.

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Here's one from Bill in Seattle, Dear Patrick. Every daylight

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saving time. I tell everyone at work that I'm going

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to be an hour late on Monday because of the

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time change, even though we lose the hour on Sunday.

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I've been doing this for fifteen years and no one

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has caught on yet. Just wanted to share my success. Bill,

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You're not out smarting anyone. Your coworkers all know exactly

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what you're doing. They talk about it at the water cooler.

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They have a betting pool on how long you'll keep

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this up. The only reason your boss hasn't fired you

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is because he's doing the exact same thing.

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To his boss. And finally, a letter from Tim in.

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Chicago, Dear Patrick, I'm so tired of people saying daylight

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savings time with an S at the end of saving.

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It's saving, not savings. This isn't a bank accout. Can

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you please educate America?

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Tim.

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I appreciate your passion for grammatical accuracy, but this is

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why you're not invited to parties. If this is what

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keeps you up at night, you're getting plenty of sleep

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regardless of what time the government tells you it is.

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Keep those letters coming, America. Next week, we'll be addressing

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your burning questions about why grocery stores have fifteen checkout

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lanes but only three cashiers. Portions of today's show were

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made with the help of AI