Dec. 4, 2024

Time Lords and Anthems that aren't gay

Show Notes
Transcript

Tiday, we're diving deep into a world where nothing is what it seems! The Village People want you to know "YMCA" isn't gay (it's just about affordable housing for muscular men in costumes),and Elon Musk wants to bend time itself (but can't decide which direction).

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Calaroga shark media from the YMCA, where they have everything

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for young men to enjoy. This is ballot, that's right,

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A cop, a construction worker, and a cowboy walk into

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mar a Lago. Nothing gay about that. Let's hit this well, folks.

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Let me fight through this bronchitis so I can tell

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you about a disco drama. The Village People's victor Willis

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just had to explain to Trump that YMCA isn't actually

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the gay national Anthem, which, let's be honest, is probably

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the weirdest sentence ever written about a president elect. Trump's

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been using the song at rallies like it's his personal

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workout mix, telling everyone it's the gay national Anthem, apparently

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missing the irony that he's basically chosen a song about

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hanging out at a gym when his idea of exercise

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is walking to the golf cart. But Willis jumped on

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Facebook faster than a construction worker at a village people

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comp to say, not so fast. Turns out the song

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that made millions of wedding guests form letters with their

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arms isn't actually about what everyone thought. It was about

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who knew the best part. The Village People are now

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cool with Trump using the song because he's having fun

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with it and maybe because it's brought them several million dollars.

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Nothing says artistic integrity quite like a disco size check.

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And get this, they might even perform at his inauguration

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because this time is different. But here's the kicker. Willis's

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wife is threatening to sue anyone who calls it a

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gay anthem come January, which means somewhere a bunch of

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lawyers are about to have the most interesting case of

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their careers defending the sexual orientation of the letters YMCA.

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So let's be clear here at the Ballot podcast, the

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village people want us to know that YMCA is definitely

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not gay. I mean, come on, what could possibly be

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gay about a leather clad biker, a construction worker in

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a crop top, and a cowboy in assless chaps singing

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about how young men can have a great time together

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at the y. These are just your average group of

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guys who happened to dress up as the most masculine

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professions they could think of. In the Navy is clearly

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just about military recruitment. You know, typical military stuff, like

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every man wants you and you can Sail the Seven

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Seas just good old fashioned patriotic lyrics about seamen. Next

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thing you'll tell me is that Macho Man isn't just

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a tribute to protein shakes and proper jim form. I mean,

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what's gay about six guys in costumes singing Body Body,

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Wanna feel my body? That's just standard locker room talk. Well, folks,

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looks like mar A Lago is turning into quite the

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European vacation hot spot. Donald Trump just had a handshake

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photo op with German politician Philip anders Rau, who's basically

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the real life version of every comedy movie's Worst case

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and Died It ever. Get this. Raw's resume includes stealing

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hotel towels, getting kicked out of college for faking his grades,

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and wait for it, allegedly starring in adult films. Talk

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about a triple threat. When confronted about doctoring his transcripts,

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his lawyer played the my client was on cocaine defense

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bold strategy. But wait, there's more. Raw showed up with

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his buddy Leonard Jaeger, a far right influencer who's about

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as moderate as a Carolina Reaper pepper. These guys managed

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to sneak their way into Trump's inner sanctum through a

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series of increasingly bizarre moves, first scoring press passes by

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sweet talking campaign staff, then linking up with a twenty

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three year old German political activist who apparently has mar

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A Lago on speed dial. I guess you could say

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that had the moves like Jaeger. When they posed for

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photos with Trump, they started chanting fight, Fight, fight, in

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both English and German. The Secret Services response to all this, Hey,

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they had an invitation, which is basically the security equivalent

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of the dog ate my background check as for what

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they packed for their Mara Lago adventure. Press passes obtained

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through what will charitably call creative journalism election night rally invitations,

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while actual journalists got uninvited. Oh the irony, their best

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please let us into the fancy club, outfits, a cameraman

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to document their shenanigans, and apparently the audacity to pull

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this whole thing off. Well, folks, looks like Elon Musk

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and Vivek Ramaswami have discovered time exists. They want to

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end daylight saving time changes, which is pretty bold for

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two guys who probably think time is just a simulation

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running on a Tesla supercomputer. Now there are three camps

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in this debate, Team keep it the same, Team permanent

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standard time, and Team Permanent daylight Saving It's like choosing

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between three different flavors of confusion or no matter what

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you pick, someone's kid is waiting for the school bus

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in the dark. Musk showing his trademark consistency, managed to

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support both abolishing and keeping daylight saving time in the

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same day on X, which makes sense when you're planning

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to colonize Mars. Earth Time is probably just a cute

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little hobby anyway. The best part this whole thing started

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in World War One to help with industrial productivity, not

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as everyone thinks, to help farmers though I guess sorry everyone,

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we change time itself to make more bombs didn't have

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quite the same ring to it as it's for the farmers.

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And now they're taking this to Congress, where our elected

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officials will spend months debating whether to spring forward, fall back,

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or just do what they usually do, absolutely nothing while

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collecting a paycheck. The real kicker, Hawaii and most of

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Arizona don't even participate in these time changes. They're just

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sitting there like mainland problems, Am I right? Though? To

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be fair, when you live in paradise or literal hell,

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time probably doesn't matter much anyway. And that's the news

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from Washington, where our biggest technological innovators are tackling the

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pressing issues of our time by literally tackling time itself,

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where it's either five pm, six pm, or who even

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knows anymore. Portions of today's program were made with the

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help of niquill Ai and the village people. None of

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today's content was intended to be gay