Sept. 6, 2024

The Trump Apprentice Movie and a McControversy about Harris

Show Notes
Transcript

“The Apprentice,” a movie about Trump that’s stirring up more drama than a reality TV reunion. With Sebastian Stan transforming into The Donald and Jeremy Strong channeling his inner Roy Cohn, this flick’s got more twists than a pretzel. Plus, we’ll take a bite out of the McControversy between Trump and Harris, and Elon Musk’s latest Twitter-induced (sorry, X) absurdities. And just when you thought it couldn’t get weirder, Russia enters the 2024 election fray with a sitcom about Joe Biden. Yep, it’s a thing. Tune in for all the snark, satire, and straight-up WTF moments that only 2024 could deliver.

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WEBVTT

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Calaroga Shark Media from Washington, DC, where the mcflurry machine

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wasn't working. What a shocker.

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This is valid, that's right, We've got ourselves a full

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blown controversy, but it's about Harris, not ice cream. We

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all know the ice cream maker is working, but the

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staff is too lazy to clean it.

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Let's hit this.

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Well, well, well, folks, grab your popcorn and your tinfoil hats,

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because it looks like Hollywood's about to serve up a

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political thriller hotter than a two dollars pistol on the

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fourth of July. The Apprentice is marching towards its release

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date like it's on a mission from God, or at

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least from a very determined movie studio.

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This flick's got more drama.

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Surrounding it than a soap opera writer's room during sweeps week.

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First off, we've got Sebastian Stan playing the Donald. I

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haven't seen a transformation this dramatic since Bruce Banner got

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Angry and Jeremy Strong as Roy Cohne. That's like casting

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a pit bull to play at Chihuahua. Intense doesn't even

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begin to cover it. Now, the movie's financier, Dan Snyder

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apparently got his Maga hat and a twist over how

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Trump's portrayed. I guess he was expecting the sound of

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music and got the.

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Wolf of Wall Street instead.

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But hey, seven million dollars later and he's singing so

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long farewell to his stake in the film. And let's

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not forget about the legal threats from Trump's team. They're

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more worked up than a cat in a room full

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of rocking chairs. Seems they're not too keen on that

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controversial Evana scene. Who'd have thought a movie about Trump

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would ruffle some feathers shocker. Meanwhile, the film's release strategy

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is shaping up to be more intricate than a game

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of four D chess, fall festivals, international rollouts. It's like

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they're planning D Day, not a movie premiere. And all

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this is happening against the backdrop of Harris stepping into

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Biden's shoes talk about your October surprises. So there you

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have it, folks. The Apprentice is coming, whether Trump likes

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it or not. It's like watching a train wreck in

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slow motion, except the train is made of celluloid and

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the wreck is well. We'll find out on October eleventh,

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won't we grab your big max and supersize your sodas

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because we've got ourselves in a controversy. Donald Trump, the

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man who probably thinks the Golden Arches are part of

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his family crest, is flipping his lid over Kamala Harris's

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alleged McDonald's past. He's accusing her of being as fake

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as the ice cream in a mcflurry. Talk about a

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quarter pounder of drama with a side of conspiracy. According

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to Trump, Harris's claim of flipping burgers is about as

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authentic as the one hundred percent beef in their patties.

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He even posted a doctored image of Harris in a

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Mickeyd's cap. I guess in Trump's world, photoshop is more

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reliable than fact checking.

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But here's the real pickle.

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The right wing media spent a whole twenty minutes, yes

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you heard that right, a whole twenty minutes investigating this

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pressing national issue. I mean, who needs to worry about

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the economy or climate change when we can debate whether

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Harris once asked, would you like fries with that? Harris's

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campaign is using this mcmemory to show she's more in

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touch with the average Joe than Trump. I mean, can

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you imagine Trump trying to operate a cash register. He'd

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probably try to gold plate it first. The Washington Free Beacon,

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clearly gunning for a Pulleitzer, pointed out that Harris didn't

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mention this job in her memoirs or on a job

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application from nineteen eighty seven, because you know, everyone always

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lists that summer job from high school on every resume

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for the rest of their lives. They're also suspicious that

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McDonald's hasn't bragged about their connection to Harris. Maybe because

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McDonald's has better things to do than dig through forty

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year old employment records. Or maybe Ronald McDonald is secretly

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running a deep state cover up.

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You never know what those clowns.

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In the end, folks, this whole debate is about as

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substantive as the air in a big macbox. But hey,

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at least it's given us all something to chew on

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besides those suspiciously eternal French fries. Now, if you'll excuse me,

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I'm suddenly craving a happy meal with a side of

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political sanity. Well well, well, folks, it looks like Elon

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Musk has decided to take a break from launching rockets

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and is now launching himself straight into the stratosphere of absurdity.

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Our favorite tech billionaire and part time twitter I mean,

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ex philosopher has graced us with his latest pearls of wisdom,

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and boy is it a doozy. Apparently women in low

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testosterone men just can't handle the truth.

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Who knew.

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I guess all those female scientists, judges, and world leaders

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have just been faking it this whole time. Musk in

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his infinite wisdom retweeted a theory that sounds like it

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was cooked up in a locker room after one too

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many protein shakes. According to this groundbreaking hypothesis, only high

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t alpha males and autists are capable of objective thought.

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The rest of us we're just sheeple, apparently blindly following

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the herd. But wait, there's more. This theory suggests that

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the ideal form of government would be a republic of

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high status males. Because nothing says democracy like excluding half

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the population based on their hormone levels. Right Elon calls

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this an interesting observation. I call it a steaming pile

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of pseudoscientific nonsense with a side of misogyny.

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But Hey, what do I know.

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I'm probably just falling victim to that pesky consensus filter

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they're talking about. It's truly inspiring to see a man

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of Musk's stature embracing such forward thinking ideas. Who needs advertisers, customers,

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or family relationships when you've got free thought right? So

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there you have it, folks, According to the Gospel of Elon,

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if you're not a testosterone fueled alpha male or on

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the autism spectrum, your thoughts are basically worthless. I guess

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it's time for me to turn in my journalist's badge

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and go back to my consensus filtered cave. Oh and

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let's all breathe a collective sigh of relief that Musk

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can't run for president, although at this rate he might

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just try to buy the whole country instead. Stay tuned

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for the next episode of Elon's excellent Adventures and Absurdity.

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Just when you thought the twenty twenty four election couldn't

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get any weirder, Russia's throwing its hat into the ring

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with a sitcom. That's right, Russian TV channel TNT is

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producing a comedy series about our very own president, Joe Biden.

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Remember him, don't worry he doesn't remember either. The show

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is called Goodbye, which I assume is what they think

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Biden will be saying to the presidency soon.

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Now get this plot.

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Biden goes to Russia incognito to find out why his

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sanctions aren't working. It's like Undercover Boss, but with more

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borsh and less success. Then, in a twist that would

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make Nicholas Cage's face off look plausible, Biden loses his passport.

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And gets stuck in Russia.

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Meanwhile, a Russian pensioner who looks just like Biden gets

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whisked away to the US by the CIA. It's the

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Prince and the Pauper meets the Americans, with a dash

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of lost in translation thrown in for good measure. The

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show's set to premiere in twenty twenty five, right as

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Biden's term ends. Talk about kicking a man when he's

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down and out of office. Russian actor Dmitri Dyujev is

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playing Biden, complete with a silver gray wig and pearly

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white dentures. He says, I'm really curious to see what

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will come out of our bold experiment and whether the

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audience will be able to recognize me and Biden and

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Biden and me. Well, Dmitri, if the audience can't tell

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the difference between you and the real Biden, I'd say

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you've got bigger problems than just your acting career. Dyujev

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promises the show will be a kind, lifelike and funny story.

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If only the real Joe Biden were lifelike, you know, folks,

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I can't help but wonder if Russia's making a comedy

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about Biden.

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What's next.

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China producing a musical about Kamala Harris, North Korea filming

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a rom com about Tim Walls.

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The possibilities are endless.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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AI and The Six Piece Nuggets.