The Geriatric Smackdown Rages On
On this episode, we'll dive into the latest zingers about President Biden and Donald Trump's advanced ages from comedian Jon Stewart. The former Daily Show host didn't hold back on calling the two elderly statesmen too dang old for the Oval...
On this episode, we'll dive into the latest zingers about President Biden and Donald Trump's advanced ages from comedian Jon Stewart. The former Daily Show host didn't hold back on calling the two elderly statesmen too dang old for the Oval Office.We'll also recap Trump's bizarre donor retreat in Florida, where he lobbed unhinged attacks at Biden while shamelessly trotting out potential VP picks and giving a surprise stage cameo to the infamous Rod Blagojevich.Then, we'll break down the controversy around Trump's appearance at the Miami Grand Prix. The publicity stunt drew backlash, with even the race sponsors feeling compelled to assert their "non-political" stance after rolling out the red carpet for the former president.Plus, we'll look at Trump's latest clash with the judge over violating a gag order for the 10th time, with the possibility of jail time now looming if he doesn't pipe down.It's a wild ride through the age-old antics and age-related attacks defining the 2024 election so far. Get ready to laugh...and maybe cringe a bit too!
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In a recent interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Trump refused to unconditionally accept the results of the upcoming 2024 presidential election. Because apparently, the concept of a peacef
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Ineed the announce open etc for this script
Here's the announce open, host intro, episode title and description for this script:Announcer Open: "From Washington D.C., where the only thing more delusional than Trump's election claims is RFK Jr.'s campaign strategy, this is Ballot!"Host Intro: "Another week, another barrage of absurdity from the 2024 candidates. Donald Trump is still refusing to commit to accepting the election results if he loses, while Robert F. Kennedy Jr. had the bright idea to call on President Biden to just...drop out of the race. We'll dissect all the madness coming up!"Episode Title: "Trump's Truth Allergy and RFK's Hail Mary"Episode Description: On today's episode, we'll dive into Donald Trump's latest comments casting doubt on the integrity of the 2024 presidential election. In a recent interview, the former president refused to unconditionally accept the potential results, setting the stage for more "rigged election" claims.We'll also break down Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s desperate "No Spoiler Pledge" proposal, where he audaciously called on President Biden to withdraw from the race if polls show Kennedy performing better against Trump. It's a long-shot strategy that's about as likely as Trump admitting the 2020 reality.Plus, we'll revisit the no-holds-barred roast billionaire Jeffrey Katzenberg delivered, comparing Trump to Hitler while praising Biden as "one of the most decent human beings." He even floated pulling the mic at debates to rein in Trump's interruptions.It's another wild installment of 2024 chaos, filled with delusional candidates, outrageous tactics, and the age-old inability to simply accept facts. Strap in for all the unbelievable comments and proposals defining this iteration of the never-ending campaign circus!
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Into this absence of familial support strode Trump’s son, the first family member to attend the trial and who listened to testimony in-person during the day. Father and son spoke, separated by a woode
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Here's how I would cover this development in a late night comedy style monologue:Well, folks, the Trump family circus took center stage at the hush money trial this week! Into the drama stepped none other than Donald Trump Jr., the first kid to actually show up and bear witness to the legal chaos.It was a regular father-son bonding moment - except for that pesky wooden barrier separating them in the courtroom. Nothing says quality time like a little obstruction between parent and child!The prosecution trotted out some witnesses who didn't exactly paint a rosy picture of Trump's familial devotion. Like his lawyer pal Keith Davidson, who dished on how Trump was desperate to keep wife Melania in the dark about his alleged affairs back in 2016.According to Davidson, Trump went so far as to block newspapers from being delivered to the White House residence when stories about his tryst with Playmate Karen McDougal first broke. Because what better way to hide infidelity from your spouse than literally suppressing the free press?But never fear, Trump's ever-loyal confidante Hope Hicks was there to do a little reputation-salvaging! Hicks got all misty-eyed recounting how much Trump "values" and "respects" Melania's opinions. Suuure, hence him doing everything possible to lie to her face about stepping out on their marriage. Makes perfect sense!Hicks also claimed Trump didn't want to "embarrass" his family over the scandal. And yet, he's the one who very publicly and proudly recalled the alleged Stormy Daniels affair in his own book. Maybe don't write a memoir chapter called "The Best Affair I Ever Had" if you're so worried about embarrassing the wife and kids?Of course, team Trump is spinning this as just another partisan attack on the former president's family. Because obviously, accusations of hush money payoffs and marital infidelity are totally normal things for a loyal spouse and parent to deal with!In the end, it's just another day of drama for Trump's cartoonishly dysfunctional family life playing out for all to see. The lying, the covering up, the witness testimony - it's like a real-life ABC soap opera, but even more unbelievable!Who knows if any other Trump kids will get walk-on roles before this trial is over? Maybe Eric and Tiffany can come hold up comically large family portraits to really drive home that unconvincing "devoted dad" narrative. Because at this point, the Trumps' idea of a "family man" is about as believable as Don Jr. getting a role on Bluey.
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Claude can make mistakes.
Please double-check responses.
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Calarogu Shark media from Washington, DC, where the only thing older than Joe
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Biden is Donald Trump's grudges. This
is ballad. President Biden faced more aged
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jabs while Donald Trump continued his trademark
chaos for rating prosecutors, trotting out potential
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vps, and even appearing at the
Miami Grand Prix amid backlash. Let's hit
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this. Trump fired off a four
am tweet asking where Sleepy Joe was.
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Well, Donald, it's four am. He's probably sleeping. Seth Meyers joked,
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if your main criticism of your opponent
is that he is sleepy, so
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much that you call him sleepy Joe, then I suggest that your one job
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as a candidate is to not fall
asleep in public. Seth also joked,
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you called her crooked Hillary and have
since been indicted four times, so we
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should have seen this coming. When
Trump gives someone a nickname, it's only
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a matter of time before we can
apply it to him. If he ever
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calls someone high in a suitcase to
get smuggled to Russia, Bob, just
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know he's in that extra large Samsonite. Good joke by Jimmy Kimmel. Marjorie
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Taylor green is acting like such a
child. Matt Gates asked her out on
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a date. Strap in, folks, because the Trump train just went full
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steam ahead into Crazyville. At his
big donor retreat in Florida, the former
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president didn't hold back on the unhinged
attacks against Biden and prosecutors. It was
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like a bizarre hybrid of a political
event and a roast battle. First,
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Trump trotted out potential vps like they
were beauty pageant contestants. We got Marco,
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we got Tim, we got vance
yeesh way to make it not awkward
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at all, don But the real
fireworks started when Trump unleashed on Biden,
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accusing his administration of being a Gestapo. Yes, he went there, comparing
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the president to literal Nazis. Nothing
says pleasing the donors like some casual Holocaust
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references. As if that insane rhetoric
wasn't enough, the guest of honor was
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none other than the infamous Rod Blagoyevitch, you know, the guy who tried
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to sell Obama Senate seat and went
to prison for corruption. Leave it to
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Trump to roll out the red carpet
for a real class act like Blogo.
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According to sources, poor Blogo was
just as blindsided as the rest of us
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by getting called on stage. I
can only imagine his internal monologue, Wait,
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does this mean I'm being considered for
VP? Because yikes. Meanwhile,
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Team Trump was busy bragging to the
donors about their seventy six million dollars fundraising
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hall last month. Not too shabby, that is, until you hear that
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Biden's crew raised literally twice that amount. Yeah, maybe sell a few more
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Maga hats, guys. All in
all, it was just another zany night
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in Trump World, unhinged rants,
bizarre cameos, and VP tryouts galore.
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At this point, would anyone really
be surprised if Blago ended up being named
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running mate or if Trump followed through
on that Gestapo talk. This is the
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reality show that keeps on giving,
folks. The Miami Grand reorganizers managed to
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outdo themselves in the spectacle department this
year by rolling out the reddest of red
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carpets for none other than Donald Trump. The former and possible future President's arrival
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at the McLaren Garage was like something
out of a fever dream. Secret Service
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parting the seas of ogling onlookers,
including an OnlyFans model desperately angling for a
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selfie with the hush money paying accused. Apparently whoever invited Trump wanted that elusive
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Donald bump in publicity. Damn the
optics. The backlash on social media was
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swift enough that poor McLaren had to
put out a statement clarifying their non political
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before the race even started. They
even trotted the guy out pre race to
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do a little grip and grin with
some kids on the red carpet, because
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obviously that's a totally normal and not
at all cringe worthy visual to beam across
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the world. Nothing says family event
like the teflon coded philanderer who bragged about
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grabbing women. In the end,
eyeballs trumped everything for the organizers. Literally,
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they decided a little Trump razzle dazzle
was worth all the backlash and security
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headaches, all in pursuit of those
sweet, sweet clicks and viewers. You
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know what they say, There's no
such thing as bad publicity, except you
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know, when you're essentially giving the
middle finger to half your audience. In
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court on Monday, the judge slapped
Trump with a thousand dollars fine for violating
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the gag order. Get this for
the tenth time. At this rate,
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he'll go broke before the trial's over, just from paying fines the latest violation.
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Trump went on some interview claiming the
jury was stacked with Democrats and picked
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too quickly. Because of course,
he tried to discredit the jury before they
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even hear the case. Judge Merchant
wasn't having any of it, though,
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Staring Trump right in the face,
he warned that going forward, jail time
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could be on the table for any
more outbursts. Yikes, I'd pay good
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money to see the look on Trump's
face when the words jail sanction came out.
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The judge said the last thing he
wants is to lock up a former
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and possibly next president, although that
would probably be good for downloads. I
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know I haven't been making much fun
of Biden, but let's be real.
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Porn stars, f one races,
even shooting puppies, all that is better
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for comedy than jokes about a guy
being old. Biden is so old he
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remembers when Air Force one was a
hot air balloon. Anyway, it looks
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like John Stewart is really going for
the jugular when it comes to Joe Biden
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and Donald Trump's advanced ages in a
blistering set at the Netflix Comedy Festival,
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the Daily Show host didn't hold back
on calling out just how dang old these
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two septuagenarians are on Biden. Stuart
snarked, I know liberals say, don't
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say Joe Biden is old. Don't
say what people see with their own eyes.
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Ouch, telling it like it is. He's got a point, though,
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at eighty one. Let's just say
Biden's not exactly the poster child for
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vitality these days. In Stuart's signature
blunt style, he declared, I'm not
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saying that Biden can't contribute to society, he just shouldn't be president. Double
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burn. Clearly, the thought of
either of these elderly statesmen in the Oval
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Office has him a bit concerned.
Joe Biden is so old. He used
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to receive this podcast by carrier pigeon. Today's podcast was made with the help
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of AI and by the letter C. That's not a hidden message, It's
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just a thing Sesame Street used to
do.