Nov. 4, 2024

The Democrats are Livin' On A Prayer

Show Notes
Transcript

I guess one strategy is to throw a lot of concerts.

Meanwhile, JD Vance says Trump is fired up about Peanut the squirrel

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WEBVTT

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Calaruga shark media from America where it's the good old

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days before the Second Civil War. This is ballot, that's right.

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And I just want to remind the secret police I

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never made fun of Trump, not even once. Nobody's more

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loyal than me, especially not those pods. Save America, guys

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and Jimmy Kimmel. Okay, let's hit this, folks. Former President

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Trump had another wild rally in Pennsylvania this weekend. And

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when I say wild, I mean your uncle at Thanksgiving

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after his fourth glass of wine.

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Wild.

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You know how most candidates in their final campaign push

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talk about the economy or their vision for America. Well,

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Trump decided to go with maybe I should have just

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squatted in the White House like your college roommate who

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wouldn't leave after graduation. And get this, he actually said

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he shouldn't have left the White House. Yeah, because that

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worked out so great the first time. That's like saying

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I shouldn't have left that burning building. Sometimes, Donald, the

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choice isn't really yours. But wait, it gets better. Trump

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was talking about the bulletproof glass at his rallies and

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suggested he wouldn't mind if reporters got shot at Yeah.

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Nothing says vote for me, quite like casual mentions of

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violence against the press. Although to be fair, that's probably

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the nicest thing he said about journalists in years. He

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was so off the rails his own advisor tried to

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wrap up the speech early. You know you're bombing when

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your own team is giving you the wrap it up signal,

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like you're a drunk best man at a wedding. Trump

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actually said, I love being off these stupid teleprompters because

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the truth comes out. Yeah, that's exactly what worries the

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rest of us, buddy. It's like when your grandmother says, now,

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let me tell you what I really think about your

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cousin's new tattoo. And just to put a cherry on

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top of this democracy flavored Sunday, Trump claimed he packed

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an arena in Milwaukee that actually had empty seats. I

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guess in Trump's America, empty seats are just seats practicing

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social distancing. Well, folks, our very own Tim Walls is

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making his final campaign pitch on The Late Show with

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Stephen Colebet Monday night. Because nothing says I'm ready to

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be vice president like chatting with a guy whose show

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comes on after your grandparents have gone to bed. Walls

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recorded the interview in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. You know that

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state that's harder to predict than your aunt's Facebook posts.

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After the interview, he hit up a union haul in

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a de wale celebration, proving he can work a room

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whether it's filled with hard hats or holiday lights. When

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Donald Trump, apparently auditioning for a reboot of Undercover Boss

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Waste Management Edition, decided to hop into a garbage truck,

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and Tim Walls, our favorite Minnesota governor turned VP hopeful,

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wasn't about to let this comedy gold go to waste. Walls,

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speaking in Pennsylvania, hit Trump with this zinger. Look, this

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dude's nearly eighty years old. He damn near killed himself

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getting into a garbage truck. I mean, when You're campaign

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stunt looks less like a presidential photo op and more

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like a deleted scene from America's Funniest home videos, maybe

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it's time to rethink the strategy. Meanwhile, Walls took a

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shot at Trump's economic plans, saying you would think over

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eighty years, you would understand how a tariff works. He

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added that smarter people than Trump, which he helpfully noted

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is a good chunk of folks say these policies would

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just lead to higher prices. Michael Stipe from Rem showed

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up at a Harris Walls rally in Atlanta yesterday, and no,

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he wasn't there to sing It's the End of the World,

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though given the state of politics, he probably could have.

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He performed Driver eight because apparently it's Governor Walls's favorite

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RAM song. You know you're living in interesting times when

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a Minnesota governor's musical taste is influencing setlists in Georgia.

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Though honestly, I'm just relieved a politician's favorite song isn't

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everybody hurts.

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That would be a little too on the nose. But

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here's the real kicker.

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Stipe told this story about accidentally meeting Kamala Harris and

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Doug Emhoff at dinner in twenty eighteen. He described them

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as crazy in love, which is either really sweet or

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means Doug's been slipping something into Kamala's coffee.

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I mean, who's that in love? At a New York restaurant,

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Usually people.

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Are too busy fighting over the check or complaining about

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the way times And get this, Stipe tried to troll

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Trump by getting the crowd to spell out vote instead

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of YMCA.

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So let's be honest.

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After watching Trump try to dance to YMCA, spelling anything

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would be an improvement. The Democrats are going full guitar

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hero with their final campaign push. They've got bon Jovie

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headlining in Detroit tonight. That's right, John bon Jovi, the

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man who wrote Livin' on a Prayer, is campaigning for

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the Democrats, which, when you think about it, is pretty

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fitting since living on a prayer is basically the Democratic

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Party's campaign strategy at this point. Meanwhile, Harris is putting

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together what looks like the world's most random Spotify playlist

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for her final push. She's got Lady Gaga and Philly

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the Roots, Ricky Martin, and Fat Joe. It's like someone

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put their phone on shuffle and just said yes to

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whoever came up. We'll be right back after Michael Stipe

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reminds me how to spell losing my religion. You know

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politics has jumped the shark when a squirrel becomes a

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campaign issue. That's right, we're talking about Peanut, New York's

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most famous Instagram influencer, who didn't have a Kardashian last name. Peanut,

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who had more Instagram followers than most politicians have actual voters,

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was seized by New York's Department of Environmental Conservation. And

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let me tell you, when government officials show up for

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your pet squirrel, they're not there to ask for selfies.

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JD.

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Vance, Trump's running mate and apparently now the nation's leading

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squirrel rights activist, told a rally that Trump was fired

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up about Peanut's death. The DC says they put Peanut

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down after a bitten official, though in peanuts defense, wouldn't

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you bite someone who showed up unannounced to your house

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and tried.

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To evict you? That's basically the squirrel equip valent of

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a no knock warrant.

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They also seized and euthanized a raccoon named Fred, but

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Fred didn't have enough Instagram followers to make the campaign speeches.

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The owners started a GoFundMe that's raised one hundred and

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forty thousand dollars.

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That's right.

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In this economy, a dead squirrel has raised more money

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than most small businesses. I guess that's what they mean

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by nuts and bolts financing. And because this is twenty

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twenty four, and everything has to somehow connect to immigration.

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Conservatives are using this as proof that New York cares

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more about immigrants than Instagram famous pets, which is a

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sentence I never thought I'd say out loud, but here

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we are. Portions of today's program were made with the

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help of Ai and Ram