Oct. 11, 2024

The Apprentice Move and Andrew Schulz laughs in Trump's Face

Show Notes
Transcript

So picture this: Trump's sitting there with comedian Andrew Schulz, probably thinking he's in for some softball questions about how great his hair looks. But nope! Schulz decides to play hardball and brings up Trump's youngest son, Barron, who's now unleashed on the mean streets of New York City. And by "mean streets," I mean the NYU campus. Watch out for those dangerous philosophy majors, Barron!
Schulz asks Trump if he's still so gung-ho about abortion bans now that his "handsome, tall, and rich" son is out there in the wild. Trump's response? A smile that probably made his spray tan crack.

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Calaroga Shark media from New York City, where the Bronx

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is up and Trump's poll numbers are down.

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This is bout, that's right, and he's coming here to

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do a rally. Why you're not winning, New York don anyway,

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let's go to the movies and let's hit this. We've

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got a Trump origin story hitting theaters today because apparently

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we haven't had enough of the guy already The Apprentice

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and it's like Joker, but with worse hair and more

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real estate. Now you might think this movie would be

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a scathing takedown of the Donald, but surprise, it's about

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as hard hitting as a feather duster. Director Ali Abassi

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claims he wanted to make a character study rather than

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a political movie. Yeah, because nothing says not political like

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a film about Donald Trump. That's like saying you're making

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a movie about fire that isn't about heat. Sebastian Stan

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plays young Trump, proving once again that even handsome actors

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can look like walking talking combover given enough makeup, and

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Jeremy Strong is Roy Kohane basically playing Kendall Roy if

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he'd gone full supervillain.

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It's like a succession spinoff. Nobody asked for.

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The movie shows us Trump's rise to power guided by

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Cone's rules of success. Rule number one, attack attack, attack,

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rule number two, admit nothing, deny everything, and rule number three,

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No matter what happens, you claim victory and never admit defeat. Wow,

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who knew the key to success was just being a

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relentless jerk? Oh wait, we all did. Now, don't worry

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Trump supporters, this isn't the hit job you feared. It's

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more like a light tap on the wrist with a

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gold plated feather. And for those hoping for a scathing

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expos well, you might want to lower your expectations faster

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than Trump's approval ratings. The movie does give us a

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glimpse of young Donald's vulnerabilities. Apparently he cried once when

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his brother died. It was so shocking you'd think he'd

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just found out McDonald's was discontinuing The Big Mac. So

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if you're in the mood for a movie that's about

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as politically charged as a wet noodle, the Apprentice might

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be for you. Just don't expect any earth shattering revelations, unless,

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of course, you consider Trump likes attention breaking news. In

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that case, hold onto your maga hats, folks, this one's

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a doozy. And remember, if you don't like the movie,

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just follow Trump's lead claim it was the greatest film

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ever made and never admit defeat.

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That's the art of the deal. Baby.

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Donald Trump, the man who can't even be honest about

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his hair, is now claiming he's basically a truthful person.

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I guess that's like saying I'm basically a world class

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athlete because I once walked up a flight of stairs

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without wheezing. Trump was on a podcast, probably thinking it

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was just another echo chamber for his alternative facts. When

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he dropped this comedic gem, The host Andrew Schultz, couldn't

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contain himself and burst out laughing, I mean, can you

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blame him? It's like hearing Pinocchio say he's basically made

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of wood. Our former president, who has a relationship with

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the truth about as stable as his marriage is, went

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on to suggest there should be a law against lies

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in campaign ads. That's rich coming from a guy whose

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entire political career is basically one long infomercial for snake oil.

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And let's not forget this is the same man who

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once lied about McDonald's McDonald's the place where the most

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unbelievable thing is supposed to be how that pink slime

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becomes a nugget. But no, Trump had to one up

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Ronald McDonald in the fiction department. So picture this. Trump's

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sitting there with comedian Andrew Schultz, probably thinking he's in

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for some softball questions about how great his hair looks.

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But nope, Schultz decides to play hardball and brings up

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Trump's youngest son, Baron, who's now unleashed on the mean

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streets of New York City. And by mean streets, I

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mean the NYU campus watch out for those dangerous philosophy majors.

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Baron Schultz asks Trump if he's still so gung ho

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about abortion bands now that his handsome, tall and rich

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son is out there in the wild. Trump's response a

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smile that probably made his spray tan crack. Trump, who

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was doing podcasts, criticized Harris for doing media hits during

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the hurricane week. The vibe goes like this, while Americans

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are building arcs in their backyards, Kamala's out there sipping

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Bruskies with coal Bear and gabbing with the ladies on

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the view. I guess she figured, Hey, why help with

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disaster relief when I can get my hair done for

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Howard Stern. Stern has jet black hair, and he's seventy

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years old and his hair is totally real, So who

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else would you take advice from? Meanwhile, our spray tanned

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ex pres Donald Trump is having a field day. He's

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calling it Kamala's fundraising comedy tour, which, let's be honest,

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is pretty accurate.

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I mean, have you heard her laugh? It's like a

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hyena on helium.

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And it's not like Trump was on a comedy media

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tour doing the Andrew Schultz comedy podcast. Oh, Trump's had

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it with the jet black haired, aging shock jock he

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tweeted or exed, or truth socialed or who even cares

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any more beta mail. Howard Stern made a fool of

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himself on his low rated radio show when he interviewed

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Lyne Kamala Harris and hit her with so many softball

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questions that even she was embarrassed. He looked like a

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real fool, working so hard to make a totally incompetent

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and ill equipped person look as good as possible, which

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wasn't very good. I dropped Howard a long time ago,

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Like most others and have since been credited with very

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good judgment Maga twenty twenty four. So Trump's out there

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at his rallies, probably running out of things to complain

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about when he decides to go after the view. I

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guess when you've exhausted topics like rigged elections and witch hunts,

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daytime TV is the next logical target. Right. Trump called

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Whoopy dirty, saying I did a walk on for Whoopy Goldberg. Now,

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she says, I refuse to mention his name. Politics can

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do strange things to demented pete. Now, I've hired Whoopy

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to work for me as a comedian before this, a

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long time ago, and I went, I'm not particularly shy

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about what I hear.

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Her mouth was so foul. Every word out of her

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mouth was like the F word. We had to leave.

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She was so filthy, dirty, disgusting. Half the place left.

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I said I'd never hire her again, but she was

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so dirty. Every word was filthy dirty, And then I left.

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But our girl, whoopee, she's not taking this lying down.

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She struts out to Christina Aguilera's dirty like she's about

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to throw down in a mud wrestling match. And let

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me tell you if it came down to Whoopy versus

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Trump in a cage match, my money's on Whoopee. She's

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got that egot energy. Whoopy reminds Trump that he hired

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her four times, four times. I guess Trump's memory is

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about as reliable as his hair and a strong wind.

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She even called him out for running his casino into

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the ground.

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Ouch, that's got to hurt more than a spray tan

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gone wrong.

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Then we've got Sonny hostin coming in hot the legal SmackDown.

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She's basically thanking Trump for being a walking, talking content

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machine for the view. I mean, who needs writers when

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you've got Trump's Twitter? Oh wait, I mean truth social Feed.

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Even Trump's former comms director Alyssa Fara Griffin is getting

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in on the action. She's saying Trump's rallies are becoming exhausting.

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I guess there's only so many times you can hear

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make America great again before you start wishing America would

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just be okay for a bit and the cherry on

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top Whoopee pointing out that while Florida's dealing with Hurricane Milton,

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Trump's busy ranting about a daytime talk show.

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I guess when you're Trump. The View is scarier than

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a Category five hurricane. So there you have it, folks.

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In this corner we have the ladies of the View,

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armed with Wit Sas and Christina Aguilera. And in the

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other corner we have Donald Trump, armed with wealth, his

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usual arsenal of insults, and selective memory.

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Place your bets