Aug. 13, 2025

Sydney Sweeney vs. The Epstein Cover-Up, Maxwell’s Mystery Prison Move, and Obama Gets Portrait-Shamed

Show Notes
Transcript

The White House tries to bury Epstein questions with denim ads starring Sydney Sweeney. Ghislaine Maxwell scores a cushy prison transfer, and Trump banishes Obama’s portrait to the political attic.

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Callaroga Shark media from Washington, d C. Where we distract

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you with Cindy Sweeney. This is ballot. Oh, you're not

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distracting me. Release the Epstein files. You cowered. I'm Patrick Gutfield,

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and the White House wants you to stop asking about

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the Epstein files Instead. The White House has apparently decided

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that Sidney Sweeney is America's new sweetheart, and they're making

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it everyone's problem. The White House's official social media account

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posted a photo of Trump from behind, appearing to shout,

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with the caption have you seen the Sidney Sweeney ad?

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The image was from Trump yelling to reporters about nuclear

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missiles from the White House roof, which is somehow the

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perfect metaphor for this entire situation. Nothing says casual genes

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advertisement discussion like nuclear weapons policy. Not to be outdone,

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the Department of Defense Rapid Response account posted a photo

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of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth with the that he has

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great genes. So now we have military officials weighing in

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on denim quality, which is definitely what the Pentagon should

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be focusing on. The administration is treating Sweeney like she's

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the new face of American Conservatism based entirely on her

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voter registration and a clothing advertisement. Meanwhile, she's probably just

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trying to pay her mortgage and wondering how selling genes

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turned into a political movement. Next, they'll probably discover that

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Ryan Reynolds is registered as an independent and spend three

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days analyzing his Deadpool movies for hidden political messages. So

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the Trump administration, which promised to expose all the Jeffrey

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Epstein's secrets, is now being accused of covering them up

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by Epstein's own victims. This is what happens when your

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campaign promises meet the reality of actually being in power.

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They built entire political careers on promising to rip the

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lid off the supposed cover up. Now that they're actually

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in charge, victims and their lawyers are saying the real

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cover up is happening right now or guestrated by the

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same people who promised transparency. The situation has gotten so

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problematic that top administration officials met last week at JD.

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Vance's house to figure out damage control. Hey, do you

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guys want to come over to JD's house? Sure? Are

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we gonna watch football or something? No, we're going to

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talk about the Epstein files. The new controversy involves Maxwell's

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mysterious prison transfer to a lower security facility that sex

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offenders typically aren't eligible for without special waivers. This happened

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right after Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche interviewed Maxwell, and

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while Trump has been floating the possibility of pardoning her.

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The optics here are roughly as bad as possible, well,

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almost as bad as possible. A bunch of pictures of

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a certain someone standing next to his good friend Jeffrey

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Epstein is as bad as possible. Think about it. If

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you had a picture of you and OJ Simpson in

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a Rams Jersey, wouldn't that be far, far less concerning

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than a picture of you and Epstein. It's not like

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Oj would be asking you if you had some gloves

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he could borrow. The political problem here is massive. Polling

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shows Americans believed by ninety two to eight percent that

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Epstein files probably include damaging information about powerful or wealthy people.

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Sixty nine percent think the government is hiding information about

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Epstein's clients, and sixty percent believe there's a cover up

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about his death. Well, President Trump has officially turned the

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White House into the world's most expensive game of musical chairs,

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except instead of chairs, we're moving presidential portraits around like

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their embarrassing family photos at a dinner party. Barack Obama's

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official portrait has been relocated from the Grand Foyer to

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the top of the Grand staircase, which is the White

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House equivalent of being moved from the living room to

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the basement. The portrait now hangs in an area so

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restricted that it's seen by fewer people than a Trump

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University reunion. The Obama painting joins portraits of both George W.

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Bush and George HW. Bush in what we can only

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call the Presidential Penalty Box. These three portraits are now

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displayed in an area accessible only to family members, secret

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Service agents, and a handful of staff, making them about

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as visible to the public as Trump's tax returns used

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to be. This is actually the second time Obama's portrait

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has been moved this year. Back in April, it was

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replaced in the Grand Foyer with a painting commemorating Trump

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surviving the assassination attempt in Butler, Pennsylvania. So we've essentially

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gone from hope to nope. You're in the stairwell now.

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Trump reportedly micromanages every aesthetic decision in the White House,

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which means somewhere in America, there's a sitting president spending

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his time deciding whether Obama should hang next to the

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bathroom or the broom closet. This is what happens when

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you give someone with strong opinions about interior decorating access

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to nuclear codes. The moves violate traditional White House protocol,

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which calls for the most recent presidents to get the

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most prominent placement, but Trump has apparently decided that protocol

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is more of a suggestion, much like his relationship with

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most governmental norms. This latest redecorating spree comes as Trump

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has escalated his attacks on Obama, recently accusing him and

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his administration of treason during the twenty sixteen election. Obama's

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office called these claims outrageous, bizarre, and a weak attempt

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at distraction, which is diplomatic language for have you tried therapy.

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The Bush portraits got caught up in this presidential game

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of hide and seek, too, which makes sense considering the

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elder Bush once called Trump a blowhard and voted for

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Hillary Clinton. George W. Bush showed up to Trump's inauguration

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but skipped the luncheon afterward, which is the political equivalent

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of attending your ex's wedding but leaving before they cut

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the cake. During his first term, Trump swapped out Clinton

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and Bush portraits for William McKinley and Theodore Roosevelt, proving

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that sometimes the best way to deal with your predecessors

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is to literally replace them with dead people who can't

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tweet back. The tradition of presidential portraits began in the

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early nineteen sixties under Jackie Kennedy. Before that, the policy

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was described as haphazard, a word that apparently gave Trump

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ideas for his second term approach to White House decort

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Portions of today's show were made with the help of

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AI release the Epstein Files, You Coward