Sept. 12, 2024

Swift Justice: Trump's Debate Drama

Show Notes
Transcript

Mac Davies serves up a razor-sharp take on the political circus. From Taylor Swift's endorsement shaking up the GOP to Trump's 9/11 memorial mishap, we've got it all. Plus, discover why Dick Cheney's surprising support for Kamala Harris has Piers Morgan fuming. Don't miss our breakdown of Trump's late-night host vendetta and Barron Trump's awkward first day at NYU.

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Calaroga Shark Media from New York City, where Taylor Swift

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once welcomed you. This is ballot, that's right.

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Instead of talking about I don't know inflation in my

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stocks being down, let's talk about what a childless cat

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lady thinks about the debate. Relax, Swifties. This whole show

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is parody. But if you guys want to come after me,

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that's fine. The name is Mac Davies and the show

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is ballot with two l's and one t. You know

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what else is about to have two l's. Donald Trump's

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election record. Let's hit this. John Stewart reminded his viewers

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a quick reminder to all the pet owners out there,

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always remember to leaseh your dogs. It's an important way

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to keep your dog from fighting other dogs, or being

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hit by a car, or being eaten by your immigrant neighbors.

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Jimmy Kimmel said, Here's what I'd like you to do

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right now. I want you to imagine we've never heard

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of Donald Trump before, and the first time you've ever

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seen him was during tonight's deay.

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What would your reaction be. You'd be shocked.

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The Republican Party would have to close their headquarters and

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turn them into a spirit Halloween store. Jimmy Fallon added,

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Harris was on the right, Trump was on the left,

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and Biden was at home wondering where do I know

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these guys from Fallon Again, just like the previous debate,

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there was no audience. Yep, they were speaking to a

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totally silent empty room, or as jd Vance calls that,

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a rally. Donald Trump decided to grace Fox and Friends

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with his presence after his debate with Kamala Harris, and

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boy did he have some thoughts on Taylor Swift's endorsement

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of his opponent. Trump declared, well, I actually like missus

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Mahomes much better. If you want to know the truth,

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she's a big Trump fan. Trump ever, the music connoisseur, added,

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I was not a Taylor Swift fan.

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Well, color as shocked.

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Who would have thought the man who thinks windmills cause

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cancer wouldn't appreciate shake it off? And in true Trump fashion,

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he couldn't resist a little threat, saying Swift will probably

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pay a price for it in the marketplace.

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Maybe Trump is onto something.

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The price of Taylor's Swift tickets is dropping, just like

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the stock market did when it saw the Biden Harris

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inflation numbers. Meanwhile, Megan Kelly's got her knickers in a

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twist over Taylor Swift's political endorsement. Who would have thought

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that a pop star's opinion could ruffle the feathers of

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a seasoned journalist. Oh wait, it's twenty twenty four, of

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course it can. Kelly seems to think Swift can kiss

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your sales to the Republican audience goodbye.

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But wait, there's more.

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Kelly's got beef with Swift's boyfriend, Travis Kelcey two. Apparently

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he's totally effing clueless about vaccine side effects. I'm sure Kelsey,

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a professional athlete, is just devastated that a TV host

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doesn't approve of his medical knowledge. Kelly went on to

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paint Swift and Kelsey as elite snobs who'll be sitting

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in their mansions saying let them eat cake. As if

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Megan Kelly he wasn't reportedly making between fifteen million and

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twenty million a year at NBC. The Cheeto in chief

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decided to grace New York City with his presence for

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the nine to eleven service, because nothing says solemn remembrance

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like a guy who thinks windmills cause cancer. Right, Trump

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showed up at Ground zero, probably expecting a hero's welcome. Instead,

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he got heckled faster than you can say transgender operations

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on illegal aliens. One attendee shouted, where were you for

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twenty years? I've been here, Where were you?

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Geez? Give the guy a break. He was busy tweeting golfing.

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But wait, it gets better.

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During a moment of silence, when everyone else was bowing

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their heads in respect, Trump was caught winking at photographers

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and rubbernecking like a tourist on his first trip to

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Times Square. Because when you're Donald Trump, even a nine

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to eleven memorial is just another photo op. Right, In

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a move that's about as unexpected as finding a vegetarian

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at a Texas barbecue, Dick Cheney has thrown his support

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behind Kamala Harris.

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But wait, it gets better.

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Peers Morgan, the British journalist who's never afraid to ruffle

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feathers or hair, called this endorsement utterly ridiculous on Fox

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and Friends. Morgan suggests the Cheneys are suffering from Trump

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derangement syndrome. Apparently it's a condition where you'd rather endorse

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your political opposite than support the guy with the world's

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most famous combover. And let's not forget Liz Cheney, who's

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also backing Harris. She's been so anti Trump she'd probably

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endorse a Potted plan if it ran against him.

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At this rate, we're.

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Halfway to seeing Bernie Sanders endorse Ted Cruz in twenty

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twenty eight. According to Rolling Stone, if Trump gets his

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tiny hands on the presidency again, he's planning to throw

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late night hosts in the slammer for telling jokes. Apparently

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Trump thinks our nightly roasts count as illegal cam pain

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contributions to the Democrats. When Jimmy Kimmel broke this news

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to his audience, they laughed. Poor Jimmy had to remind them, Glad,

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it's funny to you. He wants to lock up the

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late night hosts. I guess Trump's hoping to make America

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humorless again. Kimmel even wondered about the logistics, asking how

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would this work for John Stewart? Would he only go

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to jail on Mondays? Look, Jimmy, I don't know what

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your problem with Trump is. I just want to say

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Trump was a great president, has really big manly hands

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and great hair. Don when you win, remember I had

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your back all the way. Not like those guys at

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Crooked Media. They are probably in favor of transgender operations

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on illegal aliens. Not to mention, they probably have eaten

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the cats and dogs of Springfield. New York Magazine sent

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Olivia Nutsy Tomorrow Lago to investigate the greatest mystery since

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one of you guys gave my crazy ex girlfriend Norma

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my new cell phone number. I bet it was love

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it anyway. The mystery Trump's supposedly bullet grazed ear. And

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let me tell you this story is more twisted than

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Trump's logic on climate change. Noosy reports that Trump's ear

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looked normal and fine. Will color me shocked. Who knew

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the man who thinks windmills cause cancer could also regenerate

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body parts faster than a lizard. Maybe that's why his

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hair always looks the same. It's actually regrowing every night.

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Trump says he's a fast healer. Well, that explains everything.

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It's not just his ear, his memory. Heals so fast

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he forgets about pesky things like election results and hush

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money payments in record time. It looks like Baron Trump's

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first day at NYU's Stern School of Business was more

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dramatic than his dad's hair in a windstorm. The eighteen

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year old heir to the Orange throne has officially entered

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the lions den, or should I say the liberals lair

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Our Young Trump apparently kicked off his college career by

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meeting the school's interim dean, JP Eggers. Now, Eggers isn't

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exactly a card carrying member of the Trump fan club.

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In fact, he signed a letter back in twenty twenty

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warning business leaders about the threat Donald Trump posed to

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our republic. Talk about an awkward first impression. I haven't

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seen a meet and greet this tense since my crazy

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ex girlfriend, Norma showed up at the movie theater when

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I was out with Kate last week. But hey, maybe

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Baron's just following in his father's footsteps, you know, walking

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into places where he's not particularly welcome. It's a family tradition. Now,

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Donald Trump claims Baron liked the school. Well, of course

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he did. What's not to like about being surrounded by

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professors who think your dad is the political equivalent of

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a dumpster fire.

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It's like a daily roast session. But with student loans.

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Wait, do Trump's pay off their loans or do they

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just declare bankruptcy? But the real kicker Trump paid a

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stern accounting professor nine hundred thousand dollars to testify that

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his accounting was all above board. Nine hundred thousand dollars.

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That's more than Trump spent on hair products in the

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last decade, and about his effective Apparently, since the judge

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basically said, nice try, but no cigar, this has been

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mac Davies reminding you that in the world of Trump,

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every day is a new episode of Who Wants to

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be a millionaire Defendant? But that said, if the guy wins,

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just remember I had your back all along, Donald, and

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I really like your hair and your big hands. Don't

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let those transgender illegal aliens get you down with their

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operations and puppy eating. Portions of today's program were made

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with the help of AI, and don't forget to tip

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your professors.

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They might be testifying for you one day.