Stormy Daniels spanks Donald Trump in court....and elsewhere!

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Calaroga Shark Media from New York City, where we want you to spank us

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with a magazine. This is ballas. That's right, we have a porn

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star describing a rendezvous with President Trump. What else do you want me to

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tease? Here? Biden's budget proposal. Let's hit this. Stormy Daniels was

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on the witness stand dishing all the
juicy details of her alleged two thousand and

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six tryst with former President Trump,
and I do mean juicy, from accusing

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Trump of uttering the charming line this
is the only way you're getting out of

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the trailer park, to claiming he
greeted her in satin pajamas and asked her

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to spank him with a magazine.
Can't you just picture the scene, wealthy

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mogul Donald Trump, clad in fancy
sleepwear, beckoning a porn star to punish

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him like a naughty schoolboy. So
much for the campaign's family values branding.

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Of course, Trump's team went into
full attack mode, trying to discredit Daniels

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by payinting her as a clout chasing
opportunist who hates the former president and just

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wanted to cash in, because obviously, any woman speaking out against Trump must

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have nefarious motives. Daniels clapped back
that her motivation wasn't money, it was

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to get the story out about Trump's
wandering endowments, which, let's be real,

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is exactly what a fame hungry porn
star hoping to milk this for all

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it's worth would say. Oh,
you want the spicy deats on stormy steamy

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testimony, Say no more, Say
no more. So there's our gal Stormy

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on the stand, not holding a
single salacious detail back about her alleged romp

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with the future president. She's out
here claiming Trump greeted her in his luxury

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hotel suite wearing satin pajamas like some
kind of Hugh Hefner wannabee. Can't you

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just picture it, arrogant mogul Donald
slinking around in fancy sleepwear, probably sipping

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on a glass of the finest ovaltine. But wait, it gets better.

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According to Stormy's X rated recollection,
at at one point, Trump literally dared

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her to spank him with a magazine, and she obliged. The details just

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keep getting wilder from there. Stormy
testified that after some unwonted sexual advances,

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she just blacked out and woke up
naked on the bed. Allegedly, Trump's

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sweet nothings included classy lines like this
is the only way you're getting out of

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the trailer park. Of course,
Trump's legal team is desperately trying to shut

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all this raunchy talk down, claiming
Stormy's just out to inflame the jury with

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tales of condomless encounters and the like, as if this whole Trump hush money

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trial wasn't already the Jerry springistest thing
to ever hit a courthouse. All in

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all, Stormy's sparing no detail in
her quest to throw Trump's alleged misdeeds into

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the spotlight. Between the satin pjs, the spanking demands, the trailer park

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negging, It's a wonder the judge
hasn't had to pause things for an NC

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seventeen rating. It looks like prosecutors
have found a sneaky way to put Trump

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on the witness stand. After all, by digging up damning excerpts from his

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own books, they essentially got a
passed version of the former president to testify

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against his present self. You've got
to admire the clever strategizing there. The

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jury got an earful of Trump's own
written words painting him as a micromanager obsessed

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with pinching pennies and making every dollar
count. Quotes like every dime matters and

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I hate paying retail seem perfectly aimed
at undermining his defense that he was too

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busy being a big shot businessman to
notice the hush money. Funny business prosecutors

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really leaned into making those book passages
do the heavy lifting. Two they trotted

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out an editor to dramatically read aloud
Trump's boastful admissions of being a ruthless bully

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who will viciously retaliate against anyone who
crossed him, because nothing screams innocent quite

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like the author himself gloating about biblical
eye for an eye payback. Of course,

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Trump's lawyers tried pushing back by suggesting
those hustle porn words were penned by

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a ghostwriter, not the man himself, as if the art of the deal

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wasn't aggressively ghost written enough already,
You mean Trump didn't write for many years,

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I've said that if someone screws you
screw them back, or when somebody

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hurts you just go after them as
viciously and as violently as you can.

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Like it says in the Bible,
an eye for an eye. They also

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objected to letting jurors hear that old
grab them by the UNO tape, which

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seems like a missed opportunity. What
better way to exemplify Trump's infamousibility to show

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women respect than his own voice bragging
about sexual assault. It looks like Donald

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Trump may avoid one legal headache before
the twenty twenty four election, after a

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federal judge indefinitely postponed his trial over
mishandling classified documents in Florida. In a

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somewhat surprising ruling, Judge Aileen Cannon
pumped the brakes on setting a firm trial

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date, citing the complex rules around
using classified evidence that still need to be

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ironed out. Much for prosecutor's hopes
of getting this case in front of a

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jury by early July, Cannon made
it clear kicking this particular can down the

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road, stating that finalizing a trial
timeline now would be imprudent before a whole

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slew of pre trial issues get hashed
out properly. Looks like the former president

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bought himself at least a temporary reprieve
from the classified doc drama. Of course,

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this postponement doesn't make that pesky Manhattan
hush money case go away. As

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of now, that New York trial
Trump's already stuck in is shaping up to

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potentially be the only legal battle Hill
wage before voters head to the polls in

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November. Not that the Florida delays
make life easier for Trump either. He's

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still contending with those Georgia charges over
allegedly interfering in the twenty twenty election results.

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So while the classified document trial may
have been punted for the time being,

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Trump's legal woes are still coming in
hot from practically every angle. Four

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separate indictments hanging over a candidate's head
is hardly an ideal campaign narrative to sell

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voters on giving you four more years. Either way, this trial is shaping

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up to be a real page turner. Prosecutors are doing their best impression of

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English teachers, hell bent on dissecting
Trump's works for any and all incriminating subtext.

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Who knows, maybe Cliff's Notes is
already prepping study guides for how I

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accidentally paid off a porn star a
Trump essay. Now, before we go,

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I know you guys get mad if
I don't make fun of Biden too

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well. Joe Biden is so old
that when he got spanked, they didn't

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even have magazines. They used papyrus. Joe Biden is so old that the

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porn stars in his day were from
silent films. Joe so old the only

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way out of the trailer park was
to hop on your horse and yell the

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red Coats are coming. If you'd
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