Aug. 23, 2024

Special Guest Beyonce

Show Notes
Transcript

Keep listening, as there are internet rumors that today's guestt is Beyonce!

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WEBVTT

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Callaroga Shark Media from Chicago, where Beyonce is rumored to

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appear on today's podcast This is Ballot.

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That's right, we have a special guest coming up after

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four stories and the commercial break. It's totally got to

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be Beyonce, right, keep listening because you never know when

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Beyonce is going to show up.

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Okay, let's hit this. I don't know about you, but

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I am so annoyed by the rock teas.

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That was the Beyonce rumor that I went out and

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bought ten thousand Trump bumper stickers this morning. Heading into

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the final night of the twenty twenty four Democratic National Convention,

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the rumor mill was in overdrive with whispers of high profile,

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unannounced musical guests. Wednesday had already seen Stevie Wonder and

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John Legend, so naturally, expectations were through the roof. People

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were practically refreshing Twitter every five seconds, half expecting Beyonce

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to descend from the rafters like some kind of political

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fairy godmother. The announced acts were The Chicks and Pink,

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not exactly Hulk Hogan and Kid Rock, but the Internet

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had convinced itself that Beyonce or Taylor Swift might strut

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out for a surprise performance. Spoiler alert, they didn't. The

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big unannounced guest, well it was no One, zero zilch.

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The knight's headliner was Vice President Harris flying solo on

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the stage. Maybe that was the point all along, but

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let's be real. The absence of Queen Bay left some

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attendees feeling like they'd unwrapped a Christmas gift only to

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find socks. The Chicks continued this week's theme of musical

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artists associated with Confederate flags, a really odd move that

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nobody seems to be commenting on, but hey, stop asking questions.

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The theme of the night for the Dems seemed to

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be were just like you, except for all our Hollywood connections.

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The formerly Dixie Chicks kicked things off with an a

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cappella version of the Star Spangled Banner. It was ambitious,

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with harmonies that occasionally hit a few rough patches, but

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managed to soar when it mattered. A few pitchy spots, sure,

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but hey, it's live TV. Then Pink took the stage,

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delivering a powerful, nearly flawless rendition of her twenty seventeen

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protest anthem what about Us. Emphasis on nearly she was

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joined by a guitarist and four backup singers, including her

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thirteen year old daughter Willow Sage Heart because why not

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make it a family affair?

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And that was the end of the live music for

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the night.

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Sure there were speeches, balloon drops, Beyonce's twenty sixteen hit

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Freedom blasting over the loudspeakers, and the usual crowd shots

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of celebrities and tearful family members. But if you were

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holding out for an in person appearance from Beyonce or

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Taylor Swift, You're going to have to keep waiting. They've

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still got seventy four days to make their grand entrance. Well, folks,

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The final night of the twenty twenty four Democratic National

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Convention was nothing short of a blockbuster event, packed with

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heartfelt speeches, stirring personal anecdotes, and the kind of political

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fireworks that make you wonder if someone forgot to send

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Beyonce say an invite. Vice President Kamala Harris took the

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stage with all the gravitas of a courtroom prosecutor and

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the emotional resonance of a Netflix drama. She didn't just

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rally Democrats, she practically handed them a megaphone to shout

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no More Trump, From painting Donald Trump as the poster

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child for unserious men to highlighting his alleged missteps, from

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legal troubles to stirring up chaos, Harris left no stone

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unturned in her quest to position herself as the antidote

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to everything that some folks think is wrong with America today.

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With the cadence of someone who's rehearsed every line in

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front of a mirror, Harris dove into themes of patriotism

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and freedom, all while reminding everyone that her vision is

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a return to pre Trump normalcy. And let's not forget

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the family moments. Her grand nieces Amara and Leela took

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the stage to teach everyone how to pronounce kamala. Some

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found it adorable, educational, and just the right touch of

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family friendly charm to balance out the political heavy lift.

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Others like me, were screaming where the hell is Beyonce.

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Of course, amidst all the emotional appeals and policy positions,

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there was the ever present shadow of Beyonce. Speculation ran

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rampant all week, with many Democrats daydreaming about an impromptu

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performance of freedom, but alas Beyonce's team gracefully bowed out,

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leaving fans to console themselves with the fact that, hey,

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at least the chicks in Pink delivered solid performances, even

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if they didn't bring the superstar sparkle some were hoping for,

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and stop asking questions about the Confederate flag. In the end,

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Harris capped off an extraordinary month by casting Trump as

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the antithesis of American values and presenting herself as the

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beacon of hope and stability. As Democrats gear up for

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the November fifth showdown, they can take heart knowing their

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nominee has delivered a convention filled with passion, purpose, and

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just the right amount of personal touch to keep the

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momentum rolling. So while Beyonce might not have graced the stage,

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Vice President Harris certainly made sure the Democratic message was loud, clear,

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and heartfelt.

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Now all that's left.

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Is to see if this blend of policy, personal stories,

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and emotional appeals can sway the undecided voters when it counts.

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So picture this.

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Kamala Harris just finished ripping into Donald Trump, calling him

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out for everything short of causing global warming and messing

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up her Starbucks order.

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Naturally, Trump's response was to.

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Do what any of us would in that situation, call

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up Fox News for an impromptu therapy session. Fox News,

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never want to miss a rating spike, immediately patched him

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through to their live convention coverage. What followed was a

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ten minute Trump monologue that felt like it had no beginning,

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no middle, and certainly no end. Brett Bayer and Martha McCallum,

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the unfortunate hosts, tried to get a word in edgewise,

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but it was like trying to interrupt a runaway train.

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Mister President, let me interrupt, Bayer pleaded, but Trump was

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having none of it.

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He just kept chugging along, full steam ahead.

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Before the call, Trump had already taken to his social

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media platform Truth Social to offer real time commentary on

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Harris's speech. Now, when I say commentary, I mean more

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of a keyboard smash that somehow formed words. Among the

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gems was a shout of Where's Hunter right as Harris

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took the stage, because apparently no democratic event is complete

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without a Hunter Biden reference. Trump even managed to work

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in a dig at Governor Tim Waltz, correcting Harris by

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pointing out that Waltz was an assistant football coach, not

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a head coach. Riveting stuff. When Fox News finally got

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him on the line. Trump was ready with a scattergun

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of complaints. He ranted that Harris hadn't done anything as VP,

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no China, no fracking, no crime talk, and yet somehow

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managed to admire the nice looking room at the convention. Hey,

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even Trump can appreciate good and tior design, I guess

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Martha McCallum tried to keep things grounded by noting that

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Harris was making headway with women, Hispanic and Black voters.

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Trump predictably wasn't having it. She's not having success. I'm

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having success, he insisted. He even took a swipe at

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McCallum herself, saying it's only in your eyes that they

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have that, Martha. All the while, a beeping noise kept

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interrupting the call. Turns out Trump was accidentally hitting buttons

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on his phone like a grandpa trying to figure out FaceTime,

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And just when it seemed like the call would never end,

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Bayer mercifully cut Trump off mid sentence, thanking him for

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his time with the kind of tone you used to.

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Shoe a raccoon off your porch.

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Fox then quickly switched to Gutfeld, where host Greg Gutfeld

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clearly still processing what had just happened, assured the audience

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that none of this was his fault. He's still talking,

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by the way, Gutfeld quipped, summing up the whole bizarre

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episode perfectly.

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Fox isn't the only one annoyed at Trump.

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I was hoping to have several beverages this afternoon after

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a long week, but now I have to cover this

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RFK nonsense and head to Arizona.

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Hey, maybe Beyonce will show up.

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Portions of today's show were made with the help of AI,

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especially the Beyonce part. I'll have episodes for you again

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this weekend. The bosses here aren't soft like those crooked

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media guys. I'd be able to tell John, John and

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Tommy I need a twelve hour nap and another raise

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at this company.

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My boss texted back, suck it up. You signed up

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for this. Thanks guys,