April 6, 2025

ROYAL VEGGIE SCANDAL: King Charles' Carrot Performance While Cruz BETRAYS Trump and Obama ATTACKS White House!!!

Show Notes
Transcript

Ted Cruz just TURNED on Trump over tariffs that could cost Americans THOUSANDS! Meanwhile, Obama emerges from retirement with a SCATHING critique that has Sean Hannity FUMING! And you won't BELIEVE what King Charles is doing with vegetables at Buckingham Palace while Birmingham DROWNS in garbage and RATS are literally ATTACKING citizens! Patrick Gutfield breaks down the SHOCKING political betrayals and BIZARRE royal behavior that the mainstream media doesn't want you to hear! DOWNLOAD NOW before this episode gets BANNED!

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Callaroga shark media.

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From Washington, DC, where at least the stock market can't

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crash today, but only because it's a Sunday. This is ballot,

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that's right, and we've all lived long enough that we're

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siding with Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz.

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Even Ted Cruz doesn't like Ted Cruz.

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Hi am Patrick Guttfield, and I love working seven days

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a week so I can afford eggs. Ted Cruz is

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now warning everyone about Trump's trade war. Can you believe it?

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Ted Cruz, the same guy who once called himself Trump's

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strongest supporter in the Senate, is now saying this could

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be the biggest tax hike in a long long time.

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You know things are getting serious when Ted Cruz starts

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sounding the alarm. This is a man who would normally

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defend Trump if he declared the moon was made of cheese.

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But now he's on his podcast saying these tariffs could

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hurt jobs and hurt America. Coming from Cruise, that's basical.

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Believe the economic equivalent of running down the street screaming

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that the sky is falling. Cruz said he talked to

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one of the Big three automakers who told him these

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tariffs could raise car prices by five hundred dollars starting

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as early as June. Five hundred dollars. That's not a

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price increase, that's a down payment on another car.

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And here's the kicker.

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Cruz says foreign car companies might actually benefit more than

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American ones because if you ship a completed car here,

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you pay one tariff. But if you're making cars in

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America with important parts, you're getting hit with tariffs on

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every single part. That's like paying a cover charge at

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a restaurant and then also.

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Paying an entrance fee for each ingredient in your meal.

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Cruz even went full doomsday profit, saying, if we go

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into a bad recession, the twenty twenty six midterms would

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be a bloodbath for Republicans, although I'm not sure if

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he meant that at a warning or if he was

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pitching a new Netflix political thriller. Barack Obama is deeply

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concerned about the Trump administration's actions. That's like you're ex

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texting you that they're a little worried about your choices lately.

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You know something serious is happening when Obama breaks his

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presidential retirement code of silence. Obama spoke at Hamilton College,

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which is fitting because he delivered more shots than the musical.

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He criticized Trump's policies without ever actually saying his name.

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That's classic Obama surgical precision in his attacks while maintaining

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plausible deniability. I never said Trump could have been talking

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about anyone who happens to be a president. Right now,

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Obama's worried about the government threatening universities if they don't

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hand over students exercising free speech.

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I mean, what's next?

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Are we going to start monitoring what people check out

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at libraries? Sir? I'm going to need to see some

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ID for that copy of nineteen eighty four. It seems

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you've been using it as an instruction manual.

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And get this.

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The White House barred the Associated Press from coverage because

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they won't call the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America.

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That's like me refusing to talk to my neighbor because

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he won't refer to my apartment as the palace of Patrick.

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Obama even called out Republicans for their seawins, saying, imagine

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if I had pulled Fox News' credentials from the White

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House Press Corps. He's right if Obama had done that

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Sean Hannity would have spontaneously combusted on live television. The

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best part was when Obama said, I know it's a

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little crazy right now, but we're going to be okay.

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That's such a dad thing to say.

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It's like when your father tries to comfort you after

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the car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

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This is fine.

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We're only twenty three miles from civilization, with no cell

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service and one granola bar between us.

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We're going to be okay.

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Meanwhile, Kamala Harris also spoke out, saying there's a sense

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of fear taking hold nationwide. She's kept a low profile

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since November, probably just chilling and thinking, Thank goodness, I

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don't have to deal with any of this. But she

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did say courage is contagious, which is true, unlike the

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Gulf of America, which I'm pretty sure isn't catching on

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anytime soon. Breaking news from across the pond, King Charles

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just played a carrot. Not with a carrot, He played

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an actual carrot.

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That's right.

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His Royal Highness performed Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star on a

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carrot recorder at a musical reception. And you thought Prince

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Harry was the wild one in the family. This vegetable

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virtuoso performance happened at an event celebrating community music groups

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across the United Kingdom. Among the performers was the London

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Vegetable Orchestra. And no, I didn't just make that up.

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These people turn produce into instruments. Apparently the Royal pr

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team is just a bunch of dads with crowns.

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Three hundred and.

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Fifty musical groups showed up to this thing. Can you

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imagine three hundred and forty nine legitimate musical organizations and

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then some guy with a hollowed out zucchini. Yes, hello,

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I'm the first chair rutabaga in the London Vegetable Orchestra.

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Where shall I put my turnip trumpet? After his carrot performance,

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the King reportedly said he hopes they eat the carrots

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because he wouldn't want any food to go to waste.

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That's Charles for you, saving the environment, one musical vegetable

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at a time. The man waited seventy three years to

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become king, and this is what he's doing with his power.

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His mother must be looking down thinking, I held onto

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the throne as long as I could. Other performers included

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the London Gay Men's Chorus and the songs for Ukraine Chorus.

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Which makes sense.

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But the Vegetable Orchestra, that's the kind of group that

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gets invited when you're the king and nobody can tell

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you no, your Majesty, should we invite the Royal Philharmonic?

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No, get me the people who play broccoli.

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Meanwhile, have you seen what's happening in Birmingham, England this week?

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The garbage collectors are on strike and there's seventeen thousand

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tons of trash piling up on the streets. Seventeen thousand tons.

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That's approximately the weight of my last relationship's emotional baggage.

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Welcome to Birmingham, England, where the city's new tourism slogan

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is mine the Rats. They've gone from Britain's second city

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to Britain's stinkiest city faster than you can say, where's

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my respirator? This standoff between garbage workers and city officials

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has gotten so bad that Birmingham had to declare a

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major incident.

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You know you've got problems when your garbage.

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Situation qualifies as a disaster on par with floods and

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terror attacks. Their emergency response plan have you tried holding

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your nose. One resident said, and I quote, there are

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so many rats that the cats don't chase them when

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your cats are looking at rats saying nah, I'm good.

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You know the situation is gotten out of hand. These

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rats aren't even scared anymore. They're organizing, forming committees discussing

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rent control. Some desperate residents are loading twenty bags of

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trash in their cars to drive to the dump themselves.

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Can you imagine that smell?

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That car is basically a moving biohazard. You'd have to

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burn the vehicle afterward, which would probably.

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Smell better than the garbage.

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The workers are striking because some could lose up to

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eight thousand pounds a year with the new restructuring plan.

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That's about ten four hundred dollars.

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The city disputes this, saying only seventeen people would lose

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just over six thousand pounds. Oh, only six thousand pounds.

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That makes it fine. Then, sorry about your rent payment,

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but the good news is you're only one of seventeen

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people who can't afford it anymore. The garbage crisis has

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gotten so desperate that one Birmingham lawmaker set a constituent

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had written to say they'd been bitten by a rat.

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Bitten by a rat in England that's supposed to have

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but in New York, not the UK, those British rats

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are getting up petied forgetting their place in the social hierarchy.

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Portions of today's show were made with the help of

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high tariffs, AI carrots and garbage eating rats.