Aug. 24, 2024

RFK drops out. Trump and Theo Von talk cocaine on This Past Weekend PLUS Special Guest Beyonce!

Show Notes
Transcript

Cheryl Hines, are you listening? Mac Davies has an offer.

RFK drops out and endorses Trump

Trump and Theo Von talked cocaine on This Past Weekend

And the internet is abuzz with the idea that Beyonce is going to make a surprise appearance on today's show!

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Calarogu Shark Media from Arizona, where RFK just endorsed Trump.

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This is valid, that's.

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Right, and Cheryl hines if you're listening, why be married

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to a Kennedy when you can date a guy decades

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younger who has his own podcast.

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Okay, let's hit this. So Robert F.

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Kennedy Junior decided to endorse Donald Trump, and in classic fashion,

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he did it in the most roundabout way possible by

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spending twenty minutes ranting about the media and the Democratic

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Party before getting to the point.

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Honestly, at this rate, he could have run a marathon.

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And the time it took him to say I'm backing

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Trump but here's the kicker, MSNBC and CNN couldn't even

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be bothered to stick around for the big reveal. Both

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networks pulled the plug on his rambling speech, opting to

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monitor it instead translation they had better things to do,

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like watching paint dry. CNND out right when RFK Junior

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started taking shots at Kamala Harris because apparently even cable

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news has its limits, and over at Fox News, well,

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they were the only ones who gave Kennedy the full

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spotlight up until he finally endorsed Trump. After that even

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they decided they had heard enough and cut away. But

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the real zinger, even Trump himself, didn't stick around to

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hear Kennedy out. As soon as the endorsement was in

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the bag, Trump moved on to his own event in

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Las Vegas. I want to thank Bobby, Trump said, probably

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as he checked his watch.

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That was nice, really really nice. A great guy.

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He's respected by everybody, he added, which sounds a lot

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like what you say about someone you barely know at

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a wedding reception. Hey, Bobby, you know you're being played

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by Trump right Like, there's zero chance you ever hear

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from the guy again. Cheryl Hines just can't catch a break.

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After RFK Junior threw in the towel on his presidential campaign,

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blaming the.

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Media, of course, Cheryl took to two to offer.

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A heartfelt thank you to everyone who worked so tirelessly

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and lovingly on his campaign. Naturally, Twitter trolls pounced, pointing

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out that she accidentally said her husband's presidency was suspended.

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Freudian slip or wishful thinking.

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Either way, it was like handing the Internet a big,

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shiny gift wrapped present. Now, if you've been following the

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saga of Cheryl and RFK Junior. You know this isn't

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her first rodeo in trying to clean up after his messes.

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Remember when he compared vaccine mandates to the Holocaust and

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Cheryl had to come out and say, yeah, that was reprehensible.

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Or the time he blamed chemical exposures for transgender kids.

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Ah romance. But this latest Trump endorsement really takes the cake.

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Cheryl, who once called Trump ridiculous and disrespectful, now has

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to deal with the fact that her husband is cozying

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up to the very guy she thought she couldn't survive

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four years of Guess that conversation at home just got

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a whole lot more awkward, As if it weren't already

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hard enough being married to the king of conspiracy theories.

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Now Cheryl has to deal with people speculating that she's

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drawing up divorce papers. Hey, Cheryl, I'm available and we

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would both have crazy xes. We can compare notes. Is

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RFK texting you right now asking are you flirting with

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Cheryl Hines?

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Is that what you do? Yes, Norma it is. Have

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you seen Cheryl Hines.

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Kennedy during his speech claimed that Trump had asked him

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to enlist him in his administration, although he was a

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bit murky on the details. Apparently it's something to do

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with the chronic disease epidemic. But Kennedy's not going away. Quietly,

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he said he'd stay on the ballot in most states

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except for the swing states, because you know logic. When

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Trump was asked about Kennedy staying on the ballot, his

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response was about as clear as a magic eight ball answer. Well,

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I think they're trying to get off ballots. I mean,

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we'll see. Translation. Trump has there's no idea what's going on,

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but he's pretending he does. But of course, Trump couldn't

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resist a jab at the Democrats, claiming they treated Kennedy

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very badly and suggesting that if Kennedy had run in

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the Democratic primary, he would have beaten Biden. As for

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what cabinet position RFK will be getting from Trump, how

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about Secretary of psych Stay tuned after these commercials. There's

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a rumor that Beyonce is going to appear on Today's podcast. Well,

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it turns out that Beyonce was never scheduled to be

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on Today's podcast. Oh well, Jimmy Fallon joked a lot

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can change in a month. Right now, Kamala's campaign headquarters

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are buzzing, while Biden's have been turned into a spirit Halloween.

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Donald Trump, a guy who famously avoids alcohol like its

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attacks audit, just took a deep dive into the world

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of cocaine.

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On a podcast, No less Yup.

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The former president, who claims he's never even had a

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sip of beer, was suddenly very curious about the white

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stuff during an interview with comedian Theo von The two

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were chatting about addiction when Trump casually asked THEO how

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he got hooked on drugs. THEO, who's in recovery, goes,

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I just do cocaine. Trump, in his best cool dad mode,

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laughed and said that's down and dirty, right, like he's

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trying to relate to the kids these days. Then he

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asked if THEO still does cocaine or if it got

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too much to handle, because apparently Trump thinks drug addiction

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is like ordering too much at McDonald's. THEO, probably wondering

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if this was a real conversation or some kind of

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fever dream, explained how cocaine started making him feel like

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a mechanic. Trump, Ever, the scholar asked is cocaine a

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stronger up, which has to be the most Trump way

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of asking about getting high. Theo's response, cocaine will turn

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you into a damn al homie. That's right, folks. If

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Trump was taking notes, he learned that coke caine is

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for people who want to be their own street lamps.

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But Trump, not quite getting the message, kept digging, asking

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if that's a good feeling. THEO shot him down, saying

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it's horrible, but you do it anyway, kind of like

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watching one of Trump's rallies. After this enlightening drug talk, Trump,

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who's never had a glass of alcohol in his life,

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wanted to know if it's harder to quit drugs or booze,

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because hey, why not turn this into a twelve step meeting.

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THEO joked about go kart racing with hookers, which is

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a sentence I'm sure has been uttered at a Trump

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property before.

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But Trump got serious.

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Reflecting on his brother Fred Junior, who struggled with alcoholism.

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He said Fred taught him not.

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To drink, which Trump took to heart, probably because he

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needed a clear head for all those late night Twitter rants.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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Ai like this note asking Cheryl Hines out, Hey, Cheryl,

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I've been thinking how about we turn our next conversation

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into a date dinner. Maybe I prom us to keep

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the witty banter coming back tomorrow with another episode. This

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isn't crooked media where producers make eighty grand and get

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nine weeks vacation. We work for a living around here.