Sept. 30, 2025
Release the Earhart Files
The White House issues an official denial that Stephen Miller plays with porcelain dolls, which is definitely a normal thing for government press releases to address. The New York Mets complete baseball's most expensive faceplant, turning a three hundred forty million dollar payroll into zero playoff appearances. And President Trump promises to declassify all the files on Amelia Earhart's disappearance from nineteen thirty-seven - because apparently aviation mysteries from ninety years ago are a pressing national priority. Everything gets declassified except the Epstein Files, naturally.
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Callaroga shark media from Washington, d C. Where we don't
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play with dolls. This is ballot, that's right, And the
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only thing that wastes more money than the federal government
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is Mets owner Steve Cohen. Let's hit this. The White
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House has issued what might be the most unusual official
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denial in political history, insisting that Deputy Chief of Staff
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Stephen Miller does not, in fact play with dolls. This
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clarification came after a Rolling Stone profile revealed that Republican
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staffers on Capitol Hill used to whisper that Miller liked
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to play with porcelain dolls during his time working for
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then Senator Jeff Sessions, which raises the immediate question, how
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exactly does one get a reputation for doll collecting in
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Washington politics. A White House official called the characterization inaccurate
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and baseless gossip, which is the kind of statement you
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never expect to see in an official government press release.
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Somewhere in the White House Communications Office, someone had to
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sit down and craft a formal response about their colleagues's
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alleged hobby preferences. The doll rumors apparently date back to
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Miller's Capitol Hill days when conservative staffers viewed him as
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little more than a punchline or an obscure cautionary tale
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of what happens when you read too many far right
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hate websites. Those same staffers probably never imagined they'd one
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day need the White House to officially deny their porcelain
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doll gossip. Miller, now forty years old, continues to be
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the target of nicknames among Trump world insiders, including Shadow
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Sect Death, Prime Minister Miller, the real Attorney General, and
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President Miller. So apparently, when you're not being accused of
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playing with dolls, you're being accused of running the entire government.
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Even President Trump himself has reportedly insulted Miller behind his back,
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with biographer Michael Wolf claiming Trump calls him weird Stephen,
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which means Miller has achieved the rare distinction of being
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both defended and mocked by his own boss. Simultaneously. Rolling
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Stone noted that Miller inspires a unique mix of admiration
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and unease among Maga Republicans, with one longtime Trump advisor
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describing him as one intense, well, let's just say a
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very intense person. Attempts by Miller's friends to make him
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sound gentler, kinder, or funnier often fall flat, which suggests
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his public relations team faces some unique challenges. We've now
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reached the point where the White House communications team has
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to issue formal denials about staff members alleged toy preferences,
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and somehow in the grand scheme of Washington politics, this
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doesn't even crack the top ten strangest things that have
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happened this week. The New York Mets just completed what
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might be the most expensive face plant in baseball history.
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Three hundred and forty million dollars in payroll, Juan Soto's
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record breaking contract and a team that made it to
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the National League Championship Series last year, and they couldn't
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even limp into the expanded playoffs. That's not a collapse.
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That's a demolition derby where you paid extra to watch
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your own car get crushed. Two months into the season,
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the Mets were the best team in baseball. By the end,
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they were the punchline. One veteran player summed it up perfectly.
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On paper, we are a much better team this year
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than we were last year, and I don't think it's
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necessarily close. Just didn't work, which is like saying the
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Titanic was a much better ship than a rowboat, technically true,
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but you still end up at the bottom of the ocean.
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The clubhouse vibe went from immaculate in twenty twenty four
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to whatever. The opposite of immaculate is mediocre, tepid a
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dentist's waiting room. Players kept insisting everything was fine, which
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is what you say when everything is definitely not fine.
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Brandon Nimo actually said, we didn't have OMG or a
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pop superstar on our team. We don't need to try
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to make that happen. My man, you have Juan Soto.
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If he's not a pop superstar, what is he a
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traveling salean. The chemistry issue was delicate. You've got Francisco Lindor,
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who basically told the fans to go to hell his
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first year, and then you bring in Juan Soto, who's
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all business. Two different leadership styles, neither one wrong, but
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together they're like oil and water, or more accurately, three
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hundred and forty million dollars in disappointment. Club sources kept
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saying they'll grow more comfortable with one another over time,
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which means they spent this entire season and in the
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final assessment from the article says it all last year
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was magic. This year was just an illusion, and that
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illusion cost Steve Cohen three hundred and forty million dollars.
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At least, when you go to a magic show and
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realize it's all tricks, you only paid fifty bucks for
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the ticket. President Trump announced that he wants to release
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the files. Finally, that's right. The president wants to unseal
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all classified files on Amelia Earhart's disappearance, which happened nearly
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ninety years ago. At this point, Trump has promised to
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declassify more government secrets than a wikileak's convention, except, of course,
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the Epstein files. The president posted on truth Social that
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he's been asked often about Earhart's life and times, which
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raises the question who exactly is asking the president about
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aviation mysteries from nineteen thirty seven. Are people just walking
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up to him at mar A Lago saying, Hey, what's
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your take on that whole Earhart situation? Or maybe he
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can't hear when everyone is asking him about the Epstein files.
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Trump wrote that Earhart made it almost three quarters around
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the world before she suddenly and without notice, vanished, never
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to be seen again, which sounds like he's describing someone
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who ghosted him after a dinner party. She was doing
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so well, flying around the world, having a great time,
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and then nothing, not even a text back. Now, most
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historians believe Earhart simply ran out of fuel and crashed
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into the Pacific Ocean, but apparently there are classified government
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files about this, which suggests either there's more to the
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story or the federal government has been keeping really detailed
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records about everything since the nineteen thirties. The executive director
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of the Amelia Earhart Hangar Museum said she was surprised
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by Trump's announcement, which is diplomatic museum speak for we
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had no idea this was coming. She did note that
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the original search for Earhart cost more than four million dollars,
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making it the most expensive federal search in history at
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the time. Adjusted for inflation. That's like spending fifty million
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dollars today to look for someone who ran out of gas.
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This latest declassification promise joins Trump's previous orders to release
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files on JFKRFK and Martin Luther King Junior. At this rate,
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he's going to declassify everything from the Roswell incident to
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the recipe for McDonald's special sauce. The White House hasn't
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said how many Earhart records are actually classified or where
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they're located, which means we could be looking at someone's
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grocery list from nineteen thirty eight. But here's what we know.
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Somewhere in a government filing cabinet, there are apparently classified
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documents about a woman who disappeared over the Pacific Ocean
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nine decades ago, and the President of the United States
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thinks the American people deserve to know what really happened
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to her and navigator Fred Noonan. Either we're about to
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solve one of history's greatest mysteries, or we're going to
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learn that the government has been classifying everything, including lost
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luggage reports from the Roosevelt administration, well, everything except the
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Epstein files. Portions of today's show were made with the
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help of AI
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