Release the Earhart Files

The White House issues an official denial that Stephen Miller plays with porcelain dolls, which is definitely a normal thing for government press releases to address. The New York Mets complete baseball's most expensive faceplant, turning a three hundred forty million dollar payroll into zero playoff appearances. And President Trump promises to declassify all the files on Amelia Earhart's disappearance from nineteen thirty-seven - because apparently aviation mysteries from ninety years ago are a pressing national priority. Everything gets declassified except the Epstein Files, naturally.