April 21, 2025

Pope Francis Meets JD Vance Day Before Passing, Trump's Easter Tweets & Hegseth's 2nd Signal Oopsie

Show Notes
Transcript

Vice President JD Vance's Vatican visit just before Pope Francis' passing, President Trump's Easter social media spree, and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth's escalating Signal chat scandals. Plus, a bizarre case of chainsaw vandalism in downtown Los Angeles just before Earth Day. Patrick Gutfield blends political humor with sharp observations in this roundup of the week's most unusual headlines.

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Callaroga Shark Media from Washington, d C. Where if JD.

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Vance asks to visit, say no, this is ballid.

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That's right, lots to cover this morning, so no smart

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ass joke from me. Let's hit this breaking news today

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as we've learned of the passing of Pope Francis, the

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spiritual leader of over one billion Catholics worldwide, has died

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and speaking of white smoke signals that brings me to

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our newest podcast series, White Smoke. This compelling documentary explores

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humanity's most elaborate and secretive transfer of power, a process

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now unfolding following the Pope's death. The whole thing reveals

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all those hidden rituals and ancient traditions that go into

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picking a new Pope. White Smoke. Wherever you got this podcast,

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you can get White Smoke too. But you didn't come

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here for me to be serious, So let's turn snark

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mode on. Before delivering his final Easter blessing, Pope Francis

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briefly met with Vice President JD. Vance at the Vatican,

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which is something that actually happened. Video released by the

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Vatican showed Vance sitting down with Francis, who was seated

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in a wheelchair, and Vance actually told the Pope, I

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know you have not been feeling great, but it's good

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to see you in better health. Well, that aged about

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as well as milk in an Arizona parking lot. You

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know what happens in the Catholic Church when the pope dies,

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They lock all the cardinals in a room until they

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pick a new one.

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That's it.

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That's their system. Can you imagine if we did that

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with Congress. Nobody leaves until you pass a budget. There's

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a bucket in the corner, and we ordered twenty pizzas

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figure it out. The conclave will now determine who succeeds

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Pope Francis. So tune into White Smoke to witness how

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the Church handles these crucial days when the throne of

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Saint Peter stands empty again. For real information about the papacy,

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go listen to the White Smoke series. I have jokes

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to make Vance, who converted to Catholicism in twenty nineteen,

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share his condolences after Pope Francis's death, which came just

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a day after their meeting at the Vatican, Vance posted,

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I just learned of the passing of Pope Francis. My

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heart goes out to the millions of Christians all over.

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The world who loved him.

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I was happy to see him yesterday, though he was

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obviously very ill talk about the ultimate Catholic conversion experience.

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Most newcomers just get some holy water and a Bible,

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but Vance manages to be the Pope's final visitor. That's

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like joining a band and immediately getting a backstage pass

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to their farewell tour. For a guy who's only been

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Catholic for five years, Vance sure knows how to make

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an entrance into church history. Most converts are still trying

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to remember when to stand and kneel during Mass, while

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he's getting personal invitations from the Pope himself. We're hearing

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JD asked if he could visit the Dalai Lama today,

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who reportedly responded, no way, man, I just saw what

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happened to the last guy you visited. President Trump least

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a statement which read, rest in peace, Pope Francis, May

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God bless him and all who loved him. Trump celebrated

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Easter in his own special way this year. While most

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people were hunting eggs, Trump was hunting for the caps

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lock key on truth social the day started innocently enough

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with a nice message Milani and I would like to

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wish everyone a very happy Easter. But apparently that used

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up his entire supply of holiday cheer, because an hour

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later he unleashed what can only be described as the

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least easter like Easter message in presidential history. Instead of

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attending church like he did during his first term, Trump

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decided to worship at the altar of his Virginia golf club.

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After a quick service at the White House. Nothing says

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he has risen like your golf score. Between tea times,

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our commander in chief managed to post over twenty times

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in nine hours. His targets included radical left lunatics, China,

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critics of his tariffs, and a federal judge who had

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the audacity to halt his deportation plans. My favorite was

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his all caps declaration that the businessmen who criticize tariffs

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are bad at business, but really bad at politics, because

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nothing screams successful businessman like typing in all capital letters.

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On social media, he also shared photos of garbage in

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the Pacific Ocean with the caption a gift from China

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in the Pacific Ocean. Whatever that means you know who's

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probably relieved about all this JD vance. The Vice President

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can now say, sure, I may have been the Pope's

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last visitor, but at least that I didn't spend Easter

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ranting about MS thirteen.

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On social media.

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One guy who might be happy for the news cover

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is Pete Hegseth, Our Defense secretary, has been having quite

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a week after CNN revealed he shared detailed military plans

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in the Second Signal chat that included his wife and brother.

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This chat, originally set up during his confirmation process, continued

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long after with more than a dozen people in it,

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including military operations again ainst the Hothies in Yemen. Because

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nothing says top secret like a group chat where everyone's

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typing bubbles keep popping up. Things have gotten so chaotic

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at the Pentagon that some of Hegseth's closest advisors are

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sounding alarms about his judgment, including his former Press secretary

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and three senior officials he fired last week talk about

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workplace drama, the Pentagons going through staff faster than the

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White House goes through roll calls. When asked about the situation,

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a Pentagon spokesperson tweeted there was no classified information in

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any signal chat. Well, that's reassuring. It's like saying there

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was no alcohol in my water bottle while stumbling through

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a sobriety checkpoint. Meanwhile, hegg Seth responded to the Democratic

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National Committee's call for his ousting by tweeting, your agenda

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is illegals, trans and dei, all of which are no

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longer allowed at the Defense Department. That response really brings

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new meaning to the phrase staying on message.

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JD.

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Vance is probably looking at all this Pentagon chaos thinking man,

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all I.

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Did was visit the Pope before he died.

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At least I didn't add him to a group chat

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about military strikes, which reminds me. We have another podcast

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for you to listen to. This one is called Signal Lost,

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which is a totally fictional series about someone copying the

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wrong people on a signal chat in Washington, d C.

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Power flows through information, but what happens when the most

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sensitive military intelligence in the world ends up on the

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wrong phone. One morning, national security reporter Eliza Morgan receives

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a notification she's been added to a chat she.

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Was never meant to see.

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Operation Sandstorm Yemen coordinates weapons payloads American lives on the line.

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When the dust settles, four American soldiers are dead, three

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more captured, and the most catastrophic intelligence breach in modern

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history is just beginning to unravel. Signal Lost, a six

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part podcast thriller about betrayal, courage, and the devastating consequences

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of a world where even our most guarded communications are

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never truly secure. When everyone is listening, nowhere is safe.

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You know things are going well at the Pentagon when

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the former chief spokesman is predicting bombshell stories about you

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in the press. That's exactly what's happening with Defense Secretary

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Pete Hegseth, who's quickly becoming Washington's most explosive cabinet member,

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and not in the good way. John Elliott, who served

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in several Trump administration roles and resigned from the Pentagon,

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just last week, published what I can only describe as

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a literary hand grenade in Politico. He basically wrote that

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Hegseth's tenure has been a month of total chaos with

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a side order of dysfunction that's becoming a major distraction

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for the president.

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As if that.

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Wasn't enough drama, we've now learned heg Seth had a

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second secret signal chat group where he shared attack plans

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for Yemen, but this time the exclusive guest list included

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his wife and brother. Nothing says national security like keeping

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military operations in the family. Remember when heg Seth promised

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not to drink while in office. That was after his

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alcohol related scandal's surface during confirmation. Then there was that

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police investigation into alleged sexual assault, which he claimed was

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consensual while admitting he was drunk and cheating on his

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mistress weeks after she gave birth to their child while

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he was still married to his second wife. I'm not

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saying his personal life is complicated, but it makes Game

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of Thrones look like sesame Street. Heg Seth is now

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conducting what Oulliott called a strange and baffling purge of

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his closest advisors. According to Olliot, many in the secretary's

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own inner circle will applaud quietly if Trump chooses to

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fire him. Talk about workplace loyalty. The only thing quieter

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than those applauding staffers are the trees in downtown LA

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that got mysteriously chainsawed this weekend. The funniest part how

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Hegseth handled the first signal scandal. Elliot said he followed

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horrible crists communications advice by issuing a vague Clinton esque

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non denial denial that nobody was texting war plans.

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I don't know what's more concerning.

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That he's sharing military secrets or that his PR team

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thinks nobody was texting war plans is a reassuring statement.

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Have you heard about the latest eco drama in Los Angeles?

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Some chainsaw wielding maniac decided to cut down dozens of

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trees across downtown LA this weekend. That's right, someone went

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full lumberjack on South Grand Avenue just in time for

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Earth Day. Social Media users shared images showing trees completely

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severed at the base, while others were chopped a few

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feet above the pavement. According to one Reddit user, every

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tree between First Street and Wilshire Boulevard was cut down,

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though a review of photos suggests a few brave soldiers

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are still standing. The Los Angeles Police Department told The

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Times they had no information about the tree destruction. Of

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course they don't. They were probably too busy looking for

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whoever stole the chainsaw. Now, some conspiracy theorists online are

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suggesting this might be the work of a developer or

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city employee who wanted the trees removed without dealing with

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bureaucratic red tape, because nothing says I'm avoiding paperwork like

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committing multiple felonies in broad daylight. These weren't just any

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trees either. Many appeared to be drought resistant Indian laurel figs,

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which helped clean the air in cool areas experiencing increasingly

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hot temperatures. A UCLA study found that shade can reduce

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heat stress in the human body by twenty five to

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thirty percent throughout the day. So now Downtown LA residents

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can look forward to that authentic surface of the sun

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feeling this summer. The timing is particularly suspicious, just ahead

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of Earth Day celebrations. It's like someone throwing a massive

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bonfire right before fire prevention week. Security cameras are supposedly

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everywhere downtown, so investigators should have plenty of footage to review.

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I'm guessing the suspect will be easy to spot. Just

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look for the person carrying a chainsaw and wearing.

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A treezer for loser's T shirt.

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Jd Vance is probably relieved that, for once, a major

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news story doesn't involve him accidentally meeting someone right before

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they die. Portions of today's show were made with the

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help of the podcast White Smoke and Signal Lost and

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jokes written by Ai