March 19, 2025

PARENTS EXPOSED: The SHOCKING Truth About Favoritism That Science Just CONFIRMED! Plus APOCALYPSE ALERT and Canada's SECRET INVASION Plan!

Show Notes
Transcript

Patrick Gutfield BLOWS THE LID OFF three MIND-BLOWING stories the mainstream media is keeping quiet! First, the DEVASTATING scientific proof that your parents really DID have a favorite child - and it wasn't you! Then, NASA's TERRIFYING asteroid warning they don't want you to panic about (but you SHOULD)! And finally, Canada's GENETICALLY ENGINEERED super pigs are staging a COVERT INVASION of the United States that's already causing BILLIONS in damage! The government is HIDING these threats while we sleep!

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Calaroga Shark media.

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From Canada, the fifty first state where it seems they

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have mutant pigs. This is ballot, that's right, but mom

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always liked you better. Anyway, that joke will make sense

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in a second. Relax, let's hit this. A new study

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confirms what every kid with siblings already knew.

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Parents totally have favorites.

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And get this, it's not just a phase like your

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aunt's healing crystal collection or my brief stint is a

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competitive jump roper. This favoritism apparently lasts well into your sixties.

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That's right, you could be collecting Social Security and still

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wondering why mom likes your sister better. The study looked

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at nineteen thousand families across North America and Western Europe,

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and apparently daughters are the favorites. Even dads prefer daughters,

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which really throws a wrench in all those father son

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fishing trip commercials we've been force fed for decades now.

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The researcher behind this, Alex Jensen, actually had his own

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fourteen year old daughter call him out on favoritism. Imagine

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that conversation, Dad, why are you always taking my brother's side? Well, honey,

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funny you should ask. I'm literally doing a scientific study

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on that right now. And here's the real kicker. If

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you were the good kid, the one who did their

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homework and didn't set the garage on fire that one time, congratulations,

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you were probably the favorite. The study found that agreeable

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and conscientious kids get better treatment, which means all those

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times you cleaned your room without being asked, you were

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actually conducting your own social experiment. But don't worry, parents,

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the researcher doesn't want you to feel guilty about having

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a favorite. He just wants you to be honest about it,

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because apparently, as long as you can explain why little

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Timmy gets special treatment, like needing extra help with math

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or having a medical condition, the other kids won't end

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up too bitter about it. Though, I suspect telling your

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least favorite child they're your least favorite child might not

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go over as well as the study suggests. NASA announced

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there's a small chance an asteroid might hit Earth in

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twenty thirty two, and when I say small chance, I

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mean three point one percent, which is coincidentally the same

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odds of finding a working McDonald's ice cream machine. Now

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the experts are saying don't panic, which is exactly what

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someone says right before you should definitely panic. It's like

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when your Dennis says this won't hurt a bit and

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then pulls out something that looks like it belongs in

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a medieval torture chamber. But here's the fun part. They've

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got plans to deal with this space rock. First up

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literally crashing a spacecraft into it. They already tested this

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in twenty twenty two with something called Dart, which sounds

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less like a NASA mission and more like what you'd

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name your band in high school. They've also suggested painting

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one side of the asteroid white to change its direction,

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because apparently the solution to Earth's destruction is the same

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as your mom's solution to making the house look newer

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a fresh coat of paint.

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Then there's this thing called a gravity.

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Tractor, which is just a spacecraft flying next to the

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asteroid to pull it away.

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That's right.

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Their plan is essentially to give this asteroid the silent

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treatment until it changes its behavior. It's like passive aggressive

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space diplomacy, and if all that fails, there's always the

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nuclear option. But unlike the movie Armageddon, they're not sending

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Bruce willis up there to drill into it. They're just

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going to detonate it nearby and hope for the best,

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because nothing says trust us. We're scientists, like nuking something

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in space and crossing your fingers. Besides, didn't we lay

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off most of the nuclear team. Maybe Elon can downsize

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the asteroid. The good news is we have seven and

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a half years to figure this out. The bad news

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is that's about how long it takes to get everyone

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to agree on where to go for dinner, let alone

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how to save the planet. And let's there's a one

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hundred percent chance that will ignore this issue for the

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first four years, But don't worry, there's a ninety seven

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percent chance it'll miss us completely.

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Those are better.

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Odds than getting all the topping options you wanted at

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Chipotle when they're ten minutes from closing. All right, let

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me paint you a picture of what's happening up in Canada,

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as if we didn't already have enough reasons to take

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them over. And it's not about maple syrup or hockey

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this time. We're talking about super pigs. And these aren't

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your standard barnyard oincs. These are the Arnold Schwarzeneggers of

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the swine World. Doctor Ryan Brook, who's basically become Canada's

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chief pig detective, is up in Saskatchewan tracking these things.

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He's out there saying there are lots of them, which

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in scientific terms means, oh crud, we're in trouble now.

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These aren't your regular pigs that went.

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To the gym.

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These are specially engine crosses between wild boars and domestic pigs.

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They're like somebody took the worst traits of both and

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created the ultimate ungulate troublemaker. They're smart enough to do

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your taxes, but choose to destroy crops instead. Let me

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introduce you to a Languillere, the guy who's become Canada's

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version of the pig terminator. He's taking out five of

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these beasts every week and still can't keep up. That's

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because these pigs are breeding faster than a reality show

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creates spinoffs. Down in Montana, you've got Maggie Nutter and

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yes that's her real name, watching her border fence like

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it's the world's least exciting Netflix series. She's got this

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old barbed wire fence between her and Canada that probably

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couldn't stop a determined rabbit, let alone these super pigs.

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Montana's so worried they've started a Squeal on Pigs campaign.

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That's right, they want people to rat out rats with hoofs. Meanwhile,

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these pigs are causing two point five billion dollars in

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day damage to US crops annually, and they haven't even

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sent their a team south yet. Doctor Brook's been warning

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about this for fifteen years. He calls it an ecological

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train wreck, which is scientists speak for we're in deep trouble.

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And when a scientist starts using terms like train wreck,

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you know it's time to pay attention.

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Portions of today's program were.

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Made with the help of AI, your sister who mom

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likes better, and Canadian mutant pigs soon to be American

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mutant pigs as soon as we annex their snouts.