Sept. 1, 2025

Pam Bondi’s Superhero Worship, Blue Laws vs. Jeans, and Silent Whales

Show Notes
Transcript

Patrick Gutfield skips the Labor Day chaos and dives into a different kind of American madness: Attorney General Pam Bondi calling Trump “President” like it’s his first name, New Jersey towns suing a mall for letting people buy pants on Sundays, and blue whales going silent because they’re starving. Also: Marco Rubio has four jobs now, Paramus wants your denim outlawed, and God’s fine with roller coasters but not sweaters. Oh, and whales—giant, starving, silent whales. This is Ballot.

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Callaroga Shark Media from Washington, DC, where we pre taped

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Labor Day. This is ballot.

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Yeah, all that crazy stuff that happened over the weekend,

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I'm not talking about any of it.

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Hi, I'm Patrick Gutfield.

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And Attorney General Pam Bondi showed up to Trump's marathon

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cabinet meeting last week and decided to address the president

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like he's a superhero, not mister President or President Trump,

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just President, like he's Batman and that's his actual name.

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Thank you, President. Listen here, President.

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I haven't heard someone talk like this since my nephew

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discovered action figures. Look, Spider Man is fighting Doctor Octopus,

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except this is the Attorney General of the United States

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talking to the actual president.

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She's been doing this for months.

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People online have noticed, including Trump supporters who are like,

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why does she call him president like it's his first name.

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Even Maga Twitter is confused. And these are people who

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think JFK. Junior is still alive and working at a

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dairy queen in Tulsa. Meanwhile, Secretary of State Marco Rubio

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actually got some laughs when he joked about having four

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different jobs thanks to all the White House purges this year.

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This is the most meaningful labor day of my life

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as someone with four jobs, he said. So, there's a

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massive lawsuit brewing in New Jersey over something that sounds

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like it straight out of eighteen fifty Blue Laws. For

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those who don't know, Blue Laws are old regulations that

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ban certain activities on Sundays, originally because people thought God

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would be upset if you bought a sweater on the Sabbath.

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The American Dream Mall in East Rutherford, and yes, calling

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the mall the American Dream is peak. New Jersey has

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been letting people shop for clothes and furniture on Sundays,

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which apparently violates Bergen County's Blue Laws. Now officials in

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nearby Paramus are suing them. Here's what makes this extra ridiculous.

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You can still go to American Dream on Sunday and

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their indoor ski slope, surf artificial waves, or ride roller coasters,

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but buying a pair of jeans that crosses the line.

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You can literally launch yourself down a mountain of fake snow,

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but purchasing socks is somehow morally objectionable. The mayor of

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Paramus says American Dream promised on record they would follow

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the Blue Laws when they opened in twenty nineteen. There

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is even a transcript from twenty eleven where a mall

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executive said the laws would restrict retail activities on Sundays,

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but then, surprise, they started opening retail stores anyway. American

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dreams defense is that they sit on state owned property,

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so county laws don't apply to them. If they were smart,

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they'd apply for statehood and promise to vote Republican. They

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will probably have two senators by next week. Meanwhile, nearly

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every other retail store in Bergen County closes on Sundays,

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following laws that were originally designed to protect the Sabbath

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from commerce and recreation. So apparently God is fine with

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you risking your life on a roller coaster, sure, but

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buying a new shirt that's where divine patience runs out.

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This whole situation perfectly captures modern America. We'll argue in

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court about whether you can buy a sweater on Sunday

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while people are literally skiing indoors next to a football stadium.

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The American dream everyone so blue whales, the largest animals

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on earth, have basically stopped singing because they're too busy

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looking for food and when creatures the size of school

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buses go quiet. That's probably not a good sign for

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the rest of US. Scientists analyze six years of underwater

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recordings from a hydrophone sitting on the ocean floor off

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California and found that blue whale songs have decreased by

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forty percent. That's not just a slight dip in whale karaoke.

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That's a massive change in behavior for animals that can

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be heard from hundreds of miles away. The timing here

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tells the whole story. The recordings began during what scientists

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call the Blob, a massive pool of hot water that

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move mo down the North American coast starting in twenty thirteen.

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Ocean temperatures were more.

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Than four and a half degrees fahrenheit above average, which

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might not sound like much until you realize we're talking

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about heating up millions of cubic miles of water. This

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marine heat wave killed off krill, tiny shrimp like creatures

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that are basically whale fast food. Blue whales eat nothing

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but krill, consuming thousands of gallons of water at a

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time to filter out enormous numbers of these tiny creatures.

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When the krill disappeared, the whales suddenly found themselves in

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an underwater food desert. As one researcher put it, when

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you really break it down, it's like trying to sing

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while you're starving. They were spending all their time just

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trying to find food. So these whales went from being

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the ocean's opera singers to desperately searching for their next meal.

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Blue whales are what scientists call an indicator species. When

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they're struggling, it usually means the entire ocean ecosystem is

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in trouble. And if the largest animals on Earth can't

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find enough food in the ocean, that's a pretty clear

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sign that we've got bigger problems than quiet whales. So

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the next time you're at the beach, remember that the

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ocean might be a lot quieter than it used to be.

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The whales are still out there, but they're too busy

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trying to survive to sing about it. Portions of today's

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show were made with the help of AI release the

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Epstein files.

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