Nov. 7, 2024

Only when it's dark enough can you see the stars. Loser.

Show Notes
Transcript

While big time always supporter of Trump Mac Davies gloats about the victory, Kalama Harris said something about Stars and now we have a Moby song stuck in our head.

Also something about Jeremy Clarkson for some reason. Look man, we're tired and high on winning.

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WEBVTT

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Callaroga Shark Media from mar A Lago. We're winners, like

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us vacation after winning, because we're winners. This is ballat

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that's right. Donald Trump knows we never made fun of him,

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not like those pods. Save America, guys. That's why he

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hooked us up with a suite and might make me

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the Secretary of Podcasting, which is now a cabinet position

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because Trump understands the value of going on podcasts, unlike

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those Democrat losers. Let's hit this. Oh boy, let me

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tell you about Kamala's farewell performance. And I do mean performance, folks.

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This was more dramatic than a Trump Tower elevator entrance.

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She's out here talking about only when it's dark enough

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can you see the stars? Well, guess what The only

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stars America wants to see right now are the ones

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on our flag and the gold stars on Trump's next

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luxury hotel. And how about that metaphor about filling the

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sky with a billion brilliant stars, a billion stars? Is

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that where all that campaign money went, because it sure

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didn't go into winning Pennsylvania. Then Doug Emhoff shows up,

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or as I like to call him, the second Gentleman

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who wasn't, and they played Beyonce's Freedom as exit music.

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Talk about ironic. The only freedom we're celebrating is freedom

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from having to hear any more campaign speeches about seeing stars.

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Way to get the message that's standing on a stage

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next to Beyonce didn't connect with the voters. And let's

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be honest, the only thing brilliant about this whole scene

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was Trump's smile when Wisconsin was called. That's the kind

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of star power that actually wins elections. Let me tell

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you about this beautiful reunion between two of America's greatest minds.

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Here's RFK Junior, A Kennedy who actually gets it, teaming

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up with Donald Trump to make our water as pure

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as trump icewater. Finally, my teeth can be as naturally

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beautiful as Trump's. And let me tell you something about vaccines.

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RFK has done his research. That's right, the man who

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would toss aside the beautiful Cheryl Hines has done research.

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How do I know? Because he founded something called Children's

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Health Defense. That's like three positive words in one organization. Meanwhile,

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the mainstream media is getting their medical advice from people

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who actually went to medical school. How establishment of them

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his own sister Carry is worried. Please, that's like being

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worried that gold plating everything in Trump Tower might be excessive.

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There's no such thing as too much when you're making

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America healthy again. And doctor Paul Offitt is concerned well,

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with a name like Offit, he should be more onfit

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with our new health agenda. See what I did there, folks,

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that's the kind of wit you can only get from

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drinking fluoride free water. Sure. RFK doesn't have any medical

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degrees that we know of. Maybe he has one from

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Trump University, but neither did George Washington, and he made

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America great the first time. Besides, Trump knows more about

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health than anybody. Just look at that perfectly natural skin tone.

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That's what peak performance looks like. I don't know about you,

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but we're already stockpiling Trump stakes for a healthier America.

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Oh and Cheryl Hines should leave RFK for a younger

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guy with his own podcast. I know I riffed two

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mother in law jokes yesterday, but those were just jokes.

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The Democrats sometimes forget the comedians make jokes, even if

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they aren't funny. Am I right? Tony Hinchcliff, the new

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York Post wrote about how Kamala Harris raised a billion dollars.

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That's right, a billion and still couldn't beat a guy

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who spends most of his time posting on truth social

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from his golden toilet. And get this, now, the Dems

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are infighting and blaming her campaign staff for living in

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a bubble of they, them and LATINX. Meanwhile, Trump's campaign

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strategy was basically just him eating McDonald's and telling it

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like it is. Sometimes the simplest approach is the best. Folks,

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they're saying Harris didn't connect with voters, well, shocking news.

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Turns out people prefer a guy with magnificent hair who

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actually talks about their problems, even though he looks like

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Dorito's over someone eating Dorito's on Air Force two. Meanwhile,

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Trump's suits are so full of winning they can barely

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contain it. His ties are longer because they have to

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hold all that extra success. Oh and let's not forget

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the Obama play with a non Obama candidate strategy. That's

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like trying to recreate The Apprentice without Trump. It just

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doesn't work. People. Let's take a break for our advertisers,

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who know how to spend a billion dollars on winning. Well, folks,

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looks like Jeremy Clarkson is claiming he didn't burn a

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Trump effigy. He just happened to make a guy Fowx

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that looked exactly like our perfectly quoft president. What a coincidence.

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The hair just happened to be the most magnificent shade

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of blonde, and the suit just happened to be impeccably tailored. Sure,

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Jeremy Sure Clarkson denied it. If I was going to

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burn someone contemporary on our fire, it would be someone

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closer to home. But it was actually just guy Fawx,

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he said in a now deleted Instagram post. He sounds

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like one of those smartass podcast hosts that ripped Trump

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for six months and is now acting like he never

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did that. Look, let me explain something to mister top

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political commentary gear. When you make a guy Fox that

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looks like it just stepped out of mar A Lago's

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gold plated elevator, you're not fooling anyone that's like saying, oh,

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this isn't a Rolls Royce, It's just a car that

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happens to have a spirit of ecstasy, hood ornament and

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says Rolls Royce on it, and Jeremy says Trump and

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Hillary were both fairly horrid back in twenty sixteen. This

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coming from a guy who got fired for not getting

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his dinner on time. At least Trump knows how to

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get a well done steak with ketchup without punching anybody.

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Let's be honest. Clarkson's just jealous because Trump's hair can

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withstand higher speeds than any car he's ever tested, and

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calling our president odd. Have you seen yourself drive, Jeremy,

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You look like a giraffe trying to operate a unicycle.

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Portions of today's show were made with the help of

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AI and the UK where they know the difference between

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a guy Fox and a guy with fantastic hair.