Feb. 18, 2025

Nuclear Mishaps, Air Force One Shopping, and Tom Cruise's NASCAR Dreams

Trump tries to fire our nuclear weapons staff (but takes it back), makes Boeing execs sweat over Air Force One inspections, and Jeff Gordon hints at a "Days of Thunder" sequel that could either be amazing or a disaster. Plus, why firing nuclear...

Show Notes
Transcript

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Callaroga Shark Media.

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From Washington, DC, where Trump just inspected Air Force one

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and made Boeing executive sweat more than a NASCAR driver

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in a fireproof suit.

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This is ballot, that's right.

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It's another exciting day of presidential plane shopping, nuclear mishaps,

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and Tom Cruise possibly making the racing movie sequel.

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Absolutely no one asked for let's hit this.

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Hi, I'm Patrick Gutfield, and I hope you enjoyed your

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day off. For forty four presidents and one dictator day,

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we had to work and dropped episodes both Sunday and Monday,

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so the least you could do is download them. You

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know who's having quite the second act, Donald Trump. He's

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basically running the country like it's season two of The Apprentice,

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except this time everyone's a potential business partner. Take this

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golf merger situation. Trump's hosting meetings in the Oval office

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about live golf, which coincidentally happens to play at as courses.

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That's like having a meeting about pizza delivery regulations while

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owning twenty three pizza shops, and not just any pizza shops,

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Saudi backed pizza shops. Remember when presidents used to worry

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about conflicts of interest. Trump's collecting them like their Pokemon cards.

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He's got golf courses, cryptocurrency, and more business interest than

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a monopoly board. The whole thing's got ethics lawyers pulling

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their hair out faster than Nicholas Cage in a National

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Treasure movie.

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But hey, we're.

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All for it because we know Trump listens to the

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show and we don't want to get thrown in the gulag.

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And speaking of interesting timing, right when Trump's about to

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regulate cryptocurrency, his family just happened to make one hundred

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million dollars in crypto fees.

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What a coincidence.

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Even Nancy Pelosi is like, hey, you timed that investment.

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Well, you know what's wild.

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Trump's new efficiency team just tried to fire the people

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who handle our nuclear weapons. And when I say handle

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nuclear weapons, I'm not talking about playing Fallout on Xbox.

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These are actual nuclear weapons that could end civilization as

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we know it. So Musk's efficiency squad walks in and

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says you're fired to seven hundred and fifty people, because

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apparently managing radioactive waste sites that could poison entire states

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is just too much bureaucratic fat to trim. They fired

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these people so fast some of them found out they

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were unemployed when their email stopped working, which is fine

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until you're in the bunker below the White House and

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find out the nuke stopped working too. The best part

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the Musketeers had to say, just kidding and rehire almost everyone.

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Turns out, firing the people who keep nuclear materials from

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contaminating drinking water wasn't such a brilliant cost cutting.

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Move, after all. Who could have guessed.

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Even the experts are saying this looks terrible to our enemies,

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although if I were one of our enemies, I think

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it looks pretty great. At this point, our nuclear program

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has had more dramatic exits than a Real Housewives reunion show.

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And the Department of Energy tried claiming these were just

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administrative staff. Sure, and I'm just a guy who occasionally

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tells jokes. Good ones too. These weren't people ordering office supplies.

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These were nuclear scientists working at places with names like

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pantext Plant and Savannah River National Laboratory. You know that,

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the kind of places where you don't want anyone making mistakes.

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Trump showed up at Palm Beach International airport to inspect

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a Boeing plane, and I'm sure the executives there were

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sweating more than a teleprompter operator at a presidential debate.

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Here's the situation.

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Boeing's supposed to be building two new Air Force Ones.

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The current ones are so old they probably still have

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ash trays and copies of TV Guide in the seat pockets.

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We're talking thirty years old.

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These planes are basically flying antiques at this point. Now,

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during his first term, Trump claims he's saved one point

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six billion dollars on this deal just by threatening to

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walk away. He told this to Elon Musk during some

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kind of social media hangout session, which, by the way,

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is apparently how government business gets done now. Back in

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my day, presidents made deals over cigars and brandy, not

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emoji reactions. Speaking of Musk, he's trying to help Boeing

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deliver these planes faster. The first one won't arrive until

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twenty twenty seven, and the second one shows up in

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twenty twenty eight, right when Trump would be leaving office.

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And Trump's still hung up on changing Air Force one's

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paint job from light blue to dark blue.

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Biden killed that.

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Idea after someone did a study that basically said, hey,

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maybe let's not add more delays to test if dark

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blue paint can handle flying at forty thousand feet. The

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whole thing is starting to sound less like a government

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contract and more like one of those home renovation shows

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where nothing goes according to plan, and ever he keeps

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finding new problems behind the walls. My writers seem to

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be into Nascar all of a sudden. Guys, why am

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I doing a race car story every day?

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Now?

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Tom Cruise is really pushing for that Days of Thunder sequel,

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and honestly.

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Who can blame him?

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I mean, the first one was basically what happens when

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you led a twelve year old who just discovered Mountain dew.

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Director racing movie Jeff Gordon says he's been talking to

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Tom about it.

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And remember this.

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Is the same Tom Cruise who thought jumping on Oprah's

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couch was a good career move.

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So really, anything's possible.

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The original movie was so over the top even professional

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wrestlers were like, hey, maybe tone it down a bit,

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But somehow, like your high school yearbook photos, it's actually

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gotten better with age. Race fans still quote it, probably

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because Robinson is racing sounds way better than please maintain

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appropriate following this. But here's the real kicker. They're worried

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about how to make it realistic today. What do they

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want Tom Cruise actually driving the car, actually knowing Tom

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Cruise he probably would. Maybe we'll finally get that racing

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movie we deserve, though, let's be honest, after that Kevin

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James Netflix show, the bar is pretty low. It's like

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they took everything great about NASCAR and replaced it with well,

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Kevin James. Portions of today's show were written with the

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help of artificial intelligence, three cans of red Bull, and

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whatever's left of our sanity after covering another day of

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nuclear weapons administrative chaos,