Sept. 19, 2024

Nicky Jam is one hot chick!

Our man Trump just scored an endorsement from reggaetón star Nicky Jam, but in true Trump fashion, he managed to turn it into a comedy of errors.

At his Vegas rally, The Donald announced, "Latin music superstar Nicky Jam is supporting us! Do you know...

Show Notes
Transcript

Our man Trump just scored an endorsement from reggaetón star Nicky Jam, but in true Trump fashion, he managed to turn it into a comedy of errors.

At his Vegas rally, The Donald announced, "Latin music superstar Nicky Jam is supporting us! Do you know Nicky? She's hot!" Oh boy, someone's been spending too much time with his Barbie collection.

Trump, squinting into the crowd like he's trying to find his lost toupee, kept asking, "Where's Nicky? Where's Nicky?" Probably hoping for a swimsuit calendar photo op.

But surprise, surprise! When Nicky Jam stepped on stage, Trump's face went through more changes than his story about the 2020 election. Turns out, Nicky's not exactly the "hot woman" Trump was expecting. Who knew? Well, everyone except Trump, apparently.

To his credit, Trump rolled with it like a pro, saying, "Oh look! Come here. I'm glad he came up." Smooth save, Donald. Maybe next time, try Googling your endorsers before the rally? Just a thought.

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Calarogu Shark Media from Kansas City, where the only woman

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hotter than Taylor Swift is Nicky Jam. This is ballot,

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that's right, man, Nicki sure is a fine looking woman. Wait,

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hold on, I'm being pasted a note. Well, why the

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hell didn't you guys tell me that our man. Trump

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just scored an endorsement from Reggaton's star Nicki Jam. But

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in true Trump fashion, he managed to turn it into

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a comedy of errors. At his Vegas rally, the Donald

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announced Latin music superstar Nicki Jam is supporting us. Do

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you know Nicky? She's hot? Oh boy, someone's been spending

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too much time with his Barbie collection. Trump, squinting into

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the crowd like he's trying to find his lost to pay,

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kept asking where's Nicki? Where's Nicki? Probably hoping for a

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swimsuit calendar photo op. But surprise, surprise, when Nicki Jam

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stepped on stage, Trump's face went through more changes than

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his story about the twenty twenty election. Turns out, Nicky's

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not exactly the hot woman Trump was expecting. Who knew, well,

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everyone except Trump. Apparently to his credit, Trump rolled with

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it like a pro, saying, oh look, come here. I'm

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glad he came up smooth. Save Donald. Maybe next time

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try googling your endorsers before the rally. Just a thought.

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Nicky Jam, bless his heart, played it cool, saying it's

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an honor to meet you, mister President. Well, Nikki, when

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you come from where you come from, you don't often

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meet someone who can mistake a grown man for a

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hot woman. So congrats on that unique experience. But now

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it looks like reggaeton star Nicki Jam is rolling back

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his support. Jam initially made light of the gaff in

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an Instagram post. Its caption referred to himself in Spanish

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as a hot woman accompanied by no fewer than twenty

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two crying laughing emojis, but as of Sunday night, the

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post had been deleted. The comment section on his most

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recent post before it, which was unrelated to Trump, was

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also deactivated. Jam's Trump endorsement, amplified by the buzz surrounding

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the awkwardly inaccurate rally introduction, has made him the subject

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of relentless criticism and mockery across the Internet. Commentators flooded

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the most recent post on Jam's Instagram with jokes at

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the vocalist's expense. Trump thought you were a girl, he

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didn't even take the time to look you up, and

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you're here kissing his toes, reads one comment with nearly

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eight thousand likes. Others speculated in comments that the former

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president confused Jam with the rapper Nicki Minaj, punctuated by

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laughing emojis. Jam has faced more backlash beyond jokes from

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faceless internet trolls. Mana, a Mexican rock band, scrubbed their

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collab with Jam to piaz A Cabeza from streaming services

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on Sunday. They also released a statement condemning the Trump endorsement.

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Mana doesn't work with racists, read an Instagram post from

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the band's official account. Well well, well, looks like the

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Emperor of real Estate had no clothes, or at least

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no decent carpet. Folks, We've got some breaking news from

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the land of reality TV, where reality is about as

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real as Trump's natural hair color. Turns out, when the

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producers of The Apprentice showed up at Trump Tower, they

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weren't greeted by gold plated toilets and caviar fountains. No. No, Instead,

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they walked into what sounds like my grandma's attic if

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my grandma was a failed casino mogul with a penchant

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for self promotion. The producers described a musty carpet stench

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that followed them like an invisible cloud. Hey, maybe that's

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what Trump meant by make America great again. He was

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just trying to bring back that vintage nineteen eighty four smell.

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Nothing says success like oda mothballs? Am I right? And

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get this? Trump's personal office was devoid of any actual work.

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Instead of spreadsheets and important documents, his desk was covered

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in news articles about himself. Shocking. I know, who would

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have thought that a man with his name plastered on

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buildings would be a bit self absorbed. But don't worry, folks.

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Mark Burnett, the TV wizard behind Survivor, came to the rescue.

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He rented out a floor in Trump Tower, paying Trump

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four hundred and forty thousand dollars a year to create

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a set that screamed successful businessman instead of guy who

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might try to sell you a slightly used monoail. Jimmy

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Fallon joked former President Trump announced the launch of Eric

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and Don Junior's crypto business. Even people who went to

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Trump university are like sounds like a scam. Trump announced

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on X Crypto is one of those things we have

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to do, whether we like it or not. I have

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to do it. I guess when you've already slapped your

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name on everything from stakes to universities. The only frontier

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left is the blockchain. This isn't just any old crypto venture, no, sir,

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this is a family affair. We've got Donald Junior and

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Eric as Web three ambassadors because apparently regular ambassadors are

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so twenty sixteen, and even eighteen year old Baron is

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getting in on the action as the project's DeFi visionary.

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Trump proudly declared he's got four wallets or something. He

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knows this stuff inside out. Move over, tech wizards of

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Silicon Valley. There's a new crypto whiz kid in town.

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And who's helping the Trumps navigate this brave new world

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of digital currencies none other than Chase Harrow, self proclaimed

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dirt bag of the Internet, and Zachary Folkman, former teacher

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of the ancient art of seducing women. Because nothing says

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trustworthy financial venture quite like that dynamic duo. Right, Trump's

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gone from make America great Again to make America Crypto again.

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Will this venture be as successful as Trump Stakes or

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Trump University? Only time will tell. Well, folks, buckle up,

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because we're diving headfirst into the political soap opera that's

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hotter than a Kansas City barbecue. In July. Our main

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characters Britney Mahomes, Taylor Swift, and the man who never

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met a social media platform. He didn't like Donald Trump,

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so picture this. Trump, in his infinite wisdom, decides to

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channel his inner angsty teenager and blasts out, I hate

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Taylor Swift on truth social because nothing says presidential quite

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like using all caps to express your feelings about a

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pop star. Right now, Brittany Mahomes, who's been riding the

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Maga train, suddenly finds herself stuck between a rock and

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a hard place, or should I say, between a Swift

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and a Trump. According to some unnamed source, probably the

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same one who swears they saw Bigfoot at a seven

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to eleven, Brittany is deeply bothered by Trump's outburst. Apparently,

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Taylor is like a sister to her. I guess in

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Brittany's world, sisterhood is stronger than political allegiance. Who knew,

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but here's where it gets juicy. Trump, in a move

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that surprises absolutely no one, decides to play favorites. He

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goes on Fox and Friends and declares, I actually like

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missus Mahomes much better. If you want to know the truth,

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she's a big Trump fan. Well, Donald, I hate to

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break it to you, but after your little Swift tirade,

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she might not be such a big fan anymore. Meanwhile,

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Patrick Mahomes, proving he's as good at dodging political questions

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as he is at dodging linebackers, takes the Switzerland approach.

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He says, I think my place is to inform people

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to get registered to vote, to do their own research,

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and then make their best decision for them and their family. Translation.

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Please don't drag me into this mess. I just want

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to throw footballs. Brett Farv, apparently feeling left out, decided

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to weigh in. He praises Mahomes for staying neutral and

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takes a swipe at Swift, saying I see a lot

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of celebs trying to influence their audience instead of letting

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the people think for themselves. This from the guy who

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endorsed Trump and and then said sports were becoming too political. Irony.

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Thy name is Brett, and let's not forget the seating

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arrangements at the Chiefs games. Swift and Brittany, once sweet buddies,

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are now sitting separately. It's like high school all over again,

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but with more cameras and fewer homework assignments. So here

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we are, folks. We've got Taylor Swift and Kamala Harris

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on one team Trump and maybe Brittany Mahomes on the other,

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Patrick Mahomes Switzerland and Patrick Mahomes trying to stay neutral

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in a battle that's about as neutral as a Chiefs

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Raiders game, and Brett playing armchair quarterback from the sidelines.

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Will Brittany and Taylor patch things up? Will Trump learn

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how to use lowercase letters? Will Patrick Mahomes ever get

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to just focus on football again. Stay tuned, Same Swift time,

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Same Swift channel,