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Callaroga Shark media from Miami.
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Where if my wife asks were just here to cover
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the news, this is ballot.
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That's right.
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That middle aged drunk guy judging the wet t shirt
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contest wasn't me. I was in my room prepping today's show.
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Let's hit this.
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So Miami Beach is sticking to its breakup with spring
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Breakers for a second year, that's right.
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The city that once.
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Welcomed college students with open arms is now basically saying
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new phone who dis Mayor Stephen Minor announced they're bringing
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back all those fun killing security measures for March, including
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parking restrictions, increased fees, and the strong possibility of getting
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your dignity searched at a DUI checkpoint. Minor was practically
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giddy about last year's results, saying last year's spring Break
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was a success on any level you measure it. We
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had zero fatalities, zero shootings, zero stampedes. Wow, the bar
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for success in Florida is lower than my expectations at
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a gas station sushi counter. The city even created a
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follow up to last year's Miami Beach is breaking Up
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with spring Break campaign with something called a reality check video.
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It shows young people on a fake reality show having
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their vacation ruined by the city's rules. Because nothing says
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don't come here like showing potential tourists exactly how miserable
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you'll make them. When asked if Miami Beach might reconcile
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with spring Breakers, Minor firmly stated no, We're done. It's
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the most commitment to a breakup I've seen since my
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college girlfriend discovered my browser history. Meanwhile, over in Daytona, Beach,
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Sheriff Mike Chitwood is also preparing for war against spring Breakers,
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saying they don't bring any financial benefit. All they do
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is bring chaos, and if they want to bring chaos,
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I am going to bring chaos in return. That's not
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a law enforcement strategy. That's the tagline for a Jason
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Statham movie. Miami Beach business owners are divided on the issue.
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Take a hotel owner supports the restrictions, saying visitors should
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behave the same way they would at home, which I
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assume means quietly drinking wine in their underwear while watching
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true crime documentaries. On the flip side, David Wallack, who
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owns Mango's Tropical Cafe, thinks the city should organize concerts
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and events instead of scaring people away, because what could
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possibly go wrong with organizing large events for the exact
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crowd you're trying to avoid. Some civil rights advocates believe
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these restrictions might be racially motivated, pointing to the city's
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history with Urban Beach Week, but mayor Minor rejects this notion,
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insisting law and order is the number one priority in
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our city. So this March, if you're heading to Miami Beach,
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remember to pack light, arrive early, and maybe consider literally
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any other destination.
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Nothing says spring Break memories like being.
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Treated as a potential security threat while paying twenty dollars
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for a water down cocktail. You know what really gives
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billionaires the hebgbis? Apparently it's social security. Elon Musk, the
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man who can afford to build rocket ships as party favors,
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went on Joe Rogan's podcast to call social security the
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biggest Ponzi scheme of all time. This coming from a
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guy who pumps up doge coin whenever he's bored. I mean,
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when the richest man in the world starts worrying about
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retirement funds, it's like watching Scrooge McDuck.
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Panic about the price of gold. So here's the deal.
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Americans contribute six point two percent of their wages towards
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Social Security, but only up to one hundred and seventy
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six one hundred dollars. After that, billionaires like Musk are
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basically done paying for the year before the rest of
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us have even taken down our New Year's decorations. It's
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what they call a pay as you go system, which
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worked great when we assumed people would keep having babies
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and dying on schedule. But with seventy five million baby
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boomers retiring by twenty thirty and people living longer than expected,
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the math isn't mathing anymore. Musk said, we better fix
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what we've got right now, because if it's bad now,
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it's going to be much worse in the future, which
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is exactly what my mechanics says every time I bring
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in my car, right before charging me three thousand dollars.
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Some Democrats want to remove the contribution cap so billionaires
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would pay the same percentage on all their income. John Larson,
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who's like the Social Security defender in chief, is promising
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to resist these cuts in every way possible. He's treating
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potential Social Security cuts like they're invading aliens in an
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Independence Day sequel. Meanwhile, Trump is cracking down on immigration,
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which means even fewer people paying into the system.
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It's like refusing to.
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Hire new bartenders while the happy hour crowd keeps getting bigger.
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What could possibly go wrong? Oh?
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Great, the health secretary is prescribing vitamins while children are
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catching the measles. What's next treating broken bones with extra calcium?
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So Robert F.
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Kennedy, junior our Health secretary and former anti vaccine crusader,
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is now focusing on vitamin A to combat a measle's
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outbreak in Texas. This is the same guy who spent
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years criticizing measles vaccines, now using his government position to
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promote vitamin A supplements. The Department of Health and Human
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Services has even directed the CDC to update its guidance
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on caring for measles patients to include information about vitamin A.
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Kennedy wrote in a Fox News off ed studies have
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found that vitamin A can dramatically reduce measles mortality. What
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he conveniently left out were any of the risks associated
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with taking too much vitamin A. Health experts are concerned
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that Kennedy's focus on vitamin A sends the wrong message
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about preventing this highly contagious disease. Sue Cresley, president of
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the American Academy of Pediatrics, said relying on vitamin A
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instead of the vaccine is not only dangerous and ineffective,
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but it put its children at serious risk. Taking too
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much vitamin A can cause liver damage and, in extreme cases,
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even death. Let's be clear about something. Vitamin A isn't
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some miracle cure. It's considered supportive care and is typically
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used in countries where children are malnourished. According to the CDC,
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vitamin A deficiency affects less than one percent of the
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US population. Meanwhile, in Texas, a six year old unvaccinated
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child died last week, the first US measles death since
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twenty fifteen. At least one hundred and fifty nine people
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have been infected in the West Texas outbreak. Of the
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cases where vaccination status is known, eighty were unvaccinated and
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five were vaccinated. Down in Gaines County, Texas, the epicenter
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of the outbreak, residents have been stocking up on vitamin
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A and cod liver oil. The owner of a local
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health food store said they'll do cod liver oil because
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it's high in vitamin A and D naturally food based.
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So while Kennedy has HHS sending two thousand vaccine doses
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to Texas, they're also working on sending a shipment of
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vitamin A because apparently, when there's a disease that's prevented
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by a vaccine, the logical response is to send both
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the vaccine and some vitamins just to be safe.
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Maybe next time.
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I get a flat tire, I'll try both a spare
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tire and some premium air freshener, you know, as supportive management.
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Trump has all the best advisors, a DJ who gives
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karate kicks in the ear. Trump just found his perfect
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foreign policy advisor. Have you heard about this guy? Michael mccun.
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He's a sixty two year old karate instructor and wedding
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DJ from Arizona who somehow got President Trump to quote
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his Facebook post about Ukraine policy.
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This is wild.
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Mccun posted some thoughts in a Facebook group called Benson
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chit Chat, where people normally share handyman recommendations, and somehow
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Trump saw it and shared it with nine million followers.
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On truth social In his post, mccun claimed Trump played
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both sides like a mass chess player in his meeting
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with Ukrainian President Zelenski. According to this martial arts master,
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part time international relations expert, once US companies start mining
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in Ukraine, Putin won't be able to attack without triggering
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massive international consequences. And just like that, a wedding DJ
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who spends his days teaching karate chops and a dojo
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with an eagle son hybrid logo is now apparently influencing
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US foreign policy. Before Trump quoted him, nobody was sure
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if the President was still interested in this minerals deal
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with Ukraine. Mccun describes himself as a former Democrat who
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was so inspired by Trump that he switched parties. When
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asked about being noticed by the President, he said he's
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connected with the minds and hearts of the American people. Yes,
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nothing says connected with the American people like taking foreign
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policy advice from a Facebook group where people also trade
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plumber recommendations. The White House had no comment, but on Monday,
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Trump decided to pause all future military to Ukraine. So
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who needs the Pentagon or State Department when you've got
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a Karate instructor with a Facebook account. This is Patrick
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Gutfield saying, I don't know what's more disturbing that our
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Ukraine policy might be influenced by a DJ's Facebook post,
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that I'm voicing jokes written by AI, or that I've
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been spending all these years studying political science when i
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could have just been posting in Benson chit chat all along.