Aug. 29, 2024

Make America Baste Again

Show Notes
Transcript

Joel McHale is involved with today's Cookimg for Kamala

Harris and Walls are on CNN tongiht for an interview

Trump went off on Truth Social

Mac's pursuit of Cheryl Hines resulted in some texts from his crazy ex-girlfriend.

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WEBVTT

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Calarogu Shark Media.

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From Washington, DC, where I guess we have to watch

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CNN tonight. This is ballot That's right, Kamala is finally

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doing an interview. Trump went off on a social media

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tie rad and Joel McHale is cooking for Kamala.

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Let's hit this.

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All right, folks, Buckle up for some political news with

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the side of snark, because apparently we've entered a world

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where presidential candidates are now competing on Top Chef White

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House Edition. Our favorite dynamic duo, Kamala Harris and Tim

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Walls are shaking things up in the campaign world. Forget

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kissing babies and shaking hands. These two are out here

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dropping fire tiktoks and rallying swifties. What's next a Hunger

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Games style cookoff for the presidency. Speaking of cooking, Kamala

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is about to prove she can take the heat and

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stay in the kitchen. This Thursday, She's assembling the avengers

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of the culinary world for a little shindig called Cooking

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for Kamala. It's like if the Food Network in c

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SPAN had a baby and pad Malakshmi and Joel McHale

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were the godparents. Now I know what you're thinking, Mac.

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How is a roast chicken recipe going to solve our

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nation's problems? Well, folks, according to Kamala, the secret is

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lots of garlic, because nothing says I'm ready to lead

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the free world like breath that could repel vampires and

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foreign adversaries alike. The event will feature a star studded

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lineup of chefs, including Jose Andres, who's probably hoping Kamala's

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presidency will be less half baked than some of our

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recent leaders. Pad Malakshmi, ever, the Voice of Reason, reminds

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us that celebrities have a role to play in this election,

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because if there's one thing America needs right now, it's

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more political advice from people who are really good at

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sauteing shallots. And let's not forget Congressman Eric Swalwell, who's

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apparently been cooking up this idea for a while. He

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says cooking with family and friends is central to who

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Kamala is. I guess that explains her campaign slogan, make

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America based Again. After weeks of playing hide and seek

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with the press, Harris is ready to face the music,

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or at least face Dana Bash on CNN. It's like

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she's been training for a boxing match, but instead of

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punching bags, she's been dodging questions.

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Now, some might say Harris.

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Has been hiding from the media, but come on, folks,

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she's just been busy, you know, doing vice presidential things

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like practicing her debate face in the mirror and googling

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how to be president for dummies.

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But let's not forget the real star of this show,

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Tim Walls.

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That's right, the governor of Minnesota will be there to

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hold Harris's hand through this treacherous interview, because nothing says

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I'm ready to be president like needing a wingman for

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a CNN chat. Meanwhile, Trump's campaign is having a field day.

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They're probably sitting around eating popcorn and placing bets on

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how many times Harris will say um or uh. They've

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even accused her of mustering up the courage for this interview. Ouch,

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he's got to sting more than one of Trump's Twitter tantrums.

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But let's give credit where credit's due. Harris is stepping

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up to the plate. She's ready to face the tough

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questions like what's your favorite ice cream flavor? And how

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do you feel about puppies, you know, the hard hitting stuff.

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And hey, if all else fails, she can always pull

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a Trump and claim the interview was rigged. Or better yet,

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she could just start rambling about person woman man camera TV.

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It worked for the last guy.

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Right, looks like Donald Trump decided to turn Arlington National

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Cemetery into his personal campaign studio because nothing says presidential

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like using fallen heroes as props.

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Am I right.

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He managed to tick off the family of Master Sergeant

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Andrew Marcasano faster than you can say disrespect. They weren't

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thrilled about their loved one's final resting place becoming a

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backdrop for Trump's TikTok debut. The Trump team apparently got

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into a tussle with a cemetery employee who had the

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audacity to do her job.

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Can you believe it?

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Someone trying to enforce rules at a national cemetery the nerve.

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Trump's campaign called her despicable and suggested she was having

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a mental health episode. And let's not forget JD Vance,

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Trump's running mate, who blamed the whole kerfuffle on some

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staff member. Yeah, JD, It's totally the fault of the

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person trying to enforce the law, not the campaign breaking it.

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Solid logic there, buddy.

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In the end, we're left with a political stunt that's

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about as classy as wearing a Make America Great Again

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hat to a funeral. But hey, at least Trump got

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his TikTok content right. Joe Biden remember him? Don't worry

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he doesn't either. The good news is Joe won't remember

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how upset he would be about this next story. The

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Supreme Court just decided to play hard to get with

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Biden's latest student loan relief plan. They're like that friend

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who always says maybe to your party invite, keeping you

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on your toes, aren't they now? This new plan, cleverly

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named Save Saving on a Value Doable Education, was Biden's

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attempt at a comeback after the Supreme Court shot down

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his previous four hundred billion dollars debt forgiveness plan.

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It's like when you get.

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Rejected by your crush, so you try to impress their

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best friend instead.

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Bold strategy, Joe.

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The Save plan promises lower monthly payments and a faster

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track to loan cancelation. It's like a diet plan for

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your wallet. Lose debt fast, but just like any miracle diet.

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Some folks are skeptical. Republican state officials are clutching their pearls,

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accusing Biden of overstepping his authority. They're acting like Biden's

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handing out free money like it's Halloween candy.

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Now here's where it gets fun.

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The Congressional Budget Office says this plan will cost about

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two hundred and thirty billion dollars over the next decade,

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but the Biden administration says, naw, it's more like one

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hundred and fifty six billion dollars. It's like when you

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tell your partner you only spent one hundred and fifty

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six dollars at Target, but the receipt says two hundred

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and thirty dollars.

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Who's counting right.

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Meanwhile, eight million people have already signed up for Save,

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with four hundred thousand borrowers already seeing their debts cleared.

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That's more people than the population of Wyoming, folks. Maybe

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we should just make debt free the fifty.

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First state at this point.

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On Wednesday, Donald Trump had some kind of meltdown on

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his truth social profile.

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All before ten am.

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His many posts and retruths were conspiracy laden crude and

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some thought we're calling for the death or imprisonment of

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his enemies, which is why I just want to say

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what a huge supporter I am of President Trump, just

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in case he wins. Great guy, big hands, awesome hair.

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I've got your back. Don not like those guys at

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crooked media. One post showed Harris, Bill Gates, Anthony Fauci,

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and other Democrats wearing orange jumpsuits, captioned with how to

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actually fix the system. Multiple posts had q noon themes,

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particularly some slogan that I don't even know what it means,

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so I'm not going to say it. Another attacked the FBI,

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the Justice Department, and the House January sixth Committee. The

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social media blitz that would make even the most caffeinated

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teenagers say whoa slow down. Between eight oh two and

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eight thirty two am, Trump managed to repost a whopping

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thirty times on truth social That's one post every minute, folks.

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I guess when you're not busy running a country, you've

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got plenty of time to scroll.

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And let's not forget the ps.

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The Resistance a charming little post about Kamala Harris and

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Hillary Clinton that was about as classy as a discount

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store tuxedo. Trump's campaign, when asked for comment, was probably

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too busy looking for their collective jaw on the floor.

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It involved a suggestion.

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Of how Harris got her job and a reference to

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Monica Lewinsky with the punchline funny, how naughty word here

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impacted both their careers differently. Now, some might say this

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behavior is concerning, but hey, who are we to judge.

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I mean, it's not like he's running for the highest

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office in the land or anything. Oh wait, but don't worry, folks.

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Trump's advisors have gently suggested he might want to tone

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down the personal attacks, and by gently suggested, I mean

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they probably shouted it while he was scrolling through his

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phone oblivious to the world around him. Meanwhile, the Harris

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campaign is taking the high road, refusing to comment on

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Trump's posts. I guess they're too busy actually working on,

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you know, campaign stuff. All of this bad news, coupled

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with a conspiracy laden, sycophantic social media feed, cannot be

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healthy for Trump, particularly with his ongoing cognitive decline. Last week,

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he accidentally praised Harris and Biden, saying they made the

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country very safe. Older voters, typically a reliable voting block

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for Republicans reportedly think that he is in poor health,

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especially regarding his mental condition, and experts see patterns in

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his speech and behavior that have been worsening for years.

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Trump's campaign staff and his loved ones should be getting

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the former president to spend less time on social media,

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especially at his age, but they're invested in seeing him

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be himself in the hopes that he will return to

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the White House. Plus, he's not likely to heed a

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good piece of advice if it comes with the slightest

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threat to his ego. By the way, I got some

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texts from my crazy ex girlfriend Norma. Text one Cheryl

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Hines you lol, you wish Text two Cheryl Hines, seriously

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you've lost it. Text three, OMG, you actually think you

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have a shot?

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Ha ha ha.

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Text four Wow, Cheryl Hines delusional much Text five Cheryl

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Hines Lol. Dream on Romeo. Norma stopped listening. Portions of

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today's program were made with the help of AI. Maybe

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I'm not even trying to get Cheryl Hines to leave

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RFK to date a younger podcaster. Maybe that was just

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the AI joking. Maybe Norma should go hang out on truth.

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Social seems more her style look norma. Cheryl Hines and

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I have a lot in common. At one point, we

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were both attracted to someone who is clearly crazy.