Feb. 16, 2025

Loser Canadian Hockey Fans BOO U.S. Anthem, Tourist LOSES HANDS to Shark, Sam Bee vs. Lorne Michaels SNL

A hilarious take on Canada's national anthem boos, a tourist's shocking shark selfie fail, and the explosive SNL-Samantha Bee feud. Patrick Gutfield delivers biting (oops, sorry tourist) commentary on international sports drama, bizarre vacation...

Show Notes
Transcript

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Caalaroga Shark Media from Montreal, home of hockey losers and

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the capital city of the fifty first state. This is ballot.

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That's right, you hosers. Don't go booing our national anthem.

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It might be yours suit. You know what they say

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about nice Canadians, Well apparently nobody told the crowd in

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Montreal last night, twenty thousand fans decided to turn the

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Star Spangled banner into their personal karaoke of booze, and

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sitting right there was Justin Trudeau probably thinking sorry about

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this a Now. I've seen Canadians get angry before, but

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usually it's just when someone puts ketchup on poutine. But

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these fans were heated the moment the anthem started. They

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went full we're not your buddy guy mode. You want

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to know how quick things got spicy? Three fights broke

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out in the first nine seconds. Nine second. That's not

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a hockey game, that's just Thanksgiving dinner with slightly better

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ice conditions. Well, American Thanksgiving, we'll be moving Canadian Thanksgiving

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to November so you can celebrate Columbus Day like we do.

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And why all this hostility, Well it might have something

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to do with Donald Trump recently suggesting Canada should become

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America's fifty first state, because nothing says join our country

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quite like trying to annex your neighbor during a press conference.

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That's like proposing marriage by leaving a post it note

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on someone's fridge. But here's the best part. After all

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that drama, after all those booze, after Trudeau sitting there

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in his maple leaf jersey, probably practicing his I'm not mad,

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I'm just disappointed. Face America won three to one. That's

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what we call hockey diplomacy. Baby. The winning goal came

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from Dylan Larkin, proving that sometimes the best response to

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getting booed isn't fighting, though we did plenty of that too,

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it's just putting the puck in the net and saying

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thanks for coming out tonight, Montreal, Canada. Keep your maple syrup,

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keep your moose, keep your whatever else you've got up there.

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We'll just keep the wind, thank you very much. And hey,

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if you're going to boo our anthem next time, at

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least get a better sound system. I could barely hear

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the hate over all the freedom. See you Thursday in Boston.

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I think we know how that's gonna go. Let me

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tell you about a tourist who really misunderstood the concept

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of hands on photography. A Canadian woman decided to get

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up close and personal with a six foot bull shark

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in the Turks and Kkos. Now, most people's idea of

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a beach photo op involves a sunset or maybe a

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coconut drink. But this tourist thought, you know what would

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make this vacation memorable getting in the water with a

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predator that's been circling for forty minutes. She waded into

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the water for what she hoped would be the ultimate selfie.

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Spoiler alert, it was definitely her last shark photo. The shark,

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apparently not understand the concept of say cheese, went for

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her hands instead, both of them below the wrist on

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one arm, halfway up the forearm on the other. Her

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husband rushed in to scare away the shark, which, by

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the way, is exactly the kind of heroic but questionable

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decision making that happens when you marry someone who tries

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to take selfies with sharks. The local authorities noted that

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shark attacks are rare in Turks and Caicos, with only

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one reported last year, though I imagine the conversation at the

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tourism board went something like, good news. Hardly anyone gets

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attacked by sharks here, Bad news when they do, they're

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trying to take pictures with them. You know, there's a

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reason why the Cayman Islands made it illegal to feed

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sharks in twenty twenty two. It turns out that teaching

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apex predators to associate humans with snack time isn't the

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brightest tourism strategy. Who knew? So? Remember, vacation photographers stick

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to taking pictures of your feet in the sand. Your

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hands will thank you for it, well, if you still

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have them. So there's drama brewing before SNL's fiftieth anniversary

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show tonight. Apparently Lorne Michaels used Samantha Bee as an

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example of what not to do in comedy talk about

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an awkward party invitation. In his upcoming biography, Michael's basically

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told his cast, whatever you do, don't go full Samantha Bee.

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He called her style strident and one sided, which in

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TV executives speak, is like saying, maybe tone down the

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righteous anger about seventeen notches now be fired back saying,

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imagine calling anyone strident when you've built a career out

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of elevating the loudest guy in the room. The whole

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thing started back in twenty sixteen, when Michaels was trying

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to calm down his cast about Trump hosting the show.

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He wanted SNL to stay nonpartisan, which is kind of

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like trying to keep your lunch neutral in a food fights.

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Were response, I am strident and proudly, so at least

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she's owning it. That's like someone's saying you're too much

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of a New Yorker and responding, yeah, you got a

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problem with that. The timing is particularly spicy since SNL's

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big fiftieth anniversary show is tonight. I'm guessing Bee's invitation

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got lost in the mail, probably right next to her

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TBS show's renewal notice too soon. Look, Sam, it happens

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to the best of us. One day you have a

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nice TV gig. The next thing you know, you're hosting

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a dopey podcast created with the help of Ai