May 6, 2024
Kristi Noem may have threatened Biden's dog. PLUS Mac Hamill and Mick Jagger political news
On today's episode, we're diving into the late night monologue material provided by the always outrageous Governor Kristi Noem. The comedians couldn't resist poking fun at her proud tales of shooting her dog Cricket and menacing President Biden's...
On today's episode, we're diving into the late night monologue material provided by the always outrageous Governor Kristi Noem. The comedians couldn't resist poking fun at her proud tales of shooting her dog Cricket and menacing President Biden's German shepherd Commander.We'll also break down the bizarre scene at Donald Trump's Florida donor retreat, where he trotted out potential VP picks like beauty pageant contestants and shockingly brought disgraced ex-gov Rod Blagojevich on stage.Then, we'll dissect Biden's cringeworthy attempt to connect with Star Wars fans by starring in an awkward video cameo with Mark Hamill that his critics gleefully mocked online.And finally, we'll recap the political punches thrown when Mick Jagger took some pot shots at Louisiana's conservative governor during the Rolling Stones' Jazz Fest
WEBVTT
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00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:09.800
Calarogu Shark Media from Washington, DC. We're the only thing more unhinged than
2
00:00:09.800 --> 00:00:14.720
the political discourse is Governor Noam's dog
policy. This is ballot. Governor Knowam
3
00:00:14.759 --> 00:00:19.480
threatened to put down Biden's dog.
Trump held an insane VP audition circus for
4
00:00:19.559 --> 00:00:24.760
donors, The President's Star Wars panderbomb
and Mick Jagger mocked at governor's policies.
5
00:00:25.719 --> 00:00:33.799
Let's hit this. They are still
making fun of Christy Noam thinking it was
6
00:00:33.880 --> 00:00:39.640
cool to kill a puppy. Jimmy
Kimmel pointed out, that's right, It's
7
00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:43.640
an important distinction. It was a
working dog. So Noam did not shoot
8
00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:48.240
her puppy. She shot her employee. Stephen Colebear pointed out Noam claimed to
9
00:00:48.280 --> 00:00:52.840
have been around hundreds of dogs,
although before she got there it used to
10
00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:57.719
be thousands. Noam bragged in her
memoir about how she shot her fourteen month
11
00:00:57.719 --> 00:01:00.399
old puppy, as well as a
family goat, and I'll be honest,
12
00:01:00.759 --> 00:01:04.239
I was conflicted about whether or not
I should keep talking about it, because,
13
00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:10.079
unlike Christy nom I don't like beating
a dead horse. Colbert said,
14
00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:12.799
you dragged a fourteen month old puppy. To a gravel pit, shot it
15
00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:17.200
in the head, and then told
everybody you wrote it in your book.
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00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:22.760
That's not spinning, that's reading.
Clearly, Christy Noam knows how to read
17
00:01:22.760 --> 00:01:25.560
the room. Now, she set
her sights on a much bigger target,
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00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:30.560
President Biden's German shepherd Commander. In
a thinly veiled threat during a CBS interview,
19
00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:34.920
Noem suggested that the famously bite happy
commander should meet the same fate as
20
00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:41.159
poor cricket. Joe Biden's dog has
attacked twenty four Secret Service people, she
21
00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:45.239
snarked, So how many people is
enough people to be attacked and dangerously hurt
22
00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:49.799
before you make a decision on a
dog. Ouch, those are some sharp
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00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.280
teeth you've got there, Christy.
I'd hate to be on the receiving end
24
00:01:53.280 --> 00:01:57.599
of one of your singers. Of
course, this all comes conveniently timed with
25
00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:01.280
the release of Nome's new memoir,
No Going Back, where she regales us
26
00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:07.040
with tales of her hunting ranch adventures. Who could forget the heartwarming story of
27
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:12.159
the time she blasted cricket in a
gravel pit because the dog was quote less
28
00:02:12.199 --> 00:02:17.800
than worthless. The would be VP
candidate even imagines a scenario where as president
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00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:23.680
in twenty twenty five, she gets
to put Commander down herself. Commander say
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00:02:23.719 --> 00:02:29.319
hello to cricket for me. Oh
Donald, ask yourself how in her fantasy
31
00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:34.000
she's the president when you're the one
on top of the ticket. Trump held
32
00:02:34.039 --> 00:02:37.560
a big old donor retreat down in
Florida, and let me tell you it
33
00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:40.960
was a regular who's who of political
zaniness. First up, the guest list
34
00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:46.639
reads like a rejected lineup for a
Republican Hunger Games. We've got Senators Rubio,
35
00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:50.439
Scott, and Vance, all vying
for the coveted Trump's VP role.
36
00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:54.159
Throw in governor's Burgum and Gnom and
baby, you've got a stew going.
37
00:02:54.919 --> 00:03:00.360
But don't worry. The crazy didn't
stop there. At one point, Trump
38
00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:04.360
literally called out his potential running mates
from the stage like he was picking kickball
39
00:03:04.360 --> 00:03:08.680
teams in third grade. We got
Marco, we got Tim Geez don way
40
00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:14.080
to make it not awkward at all. Then, in an absolutely iconic power
41
00:03:14.120 --> 00:03:19.319
move, Trump brought disgraced former Illinois
Governor Rod Blogoyevitch up on stage. You
42
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:23.639
know, the guy who literally tried
to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat. Yeah,
43
00:03:23.639 --> 00:03:27.199
that's the kind of top notch character
we're dealing with here. According to
44
00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:30.599
sources, Blago was just as surprised
as the rest of us to get that
45
00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:34.520
special invite. I can only imagine
the look on his face when they called
46
00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:38.719
his name, probably something like,
oh crud, do I actually have to
47
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:43.080
be VP? Now? Meanwhile,
the Trump camp was busy bragging to donors
48
00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:46.800
about raising over seventy six million dollars
last month, which sounds impressive until you
49
00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:52.759
hear that Biden's team has literally twice
that amount socked away. Yikes. Someone
50
00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:55.800
might need to hit up more MAGA
rallies to sell those dollar dollar dollar photo
51
00:03:55.840 --> 00:04:00.479
ops. All in all, just
another zany weekend with the Trump circus.
52
00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:06.319
Will Blago actually end up being VP? Will Christy Noem challenge Biden's dog commander
53
00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:11.280
to a steel cage match? Honestly, at this point, nothing would surprise
54
00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:19.759
me. This is the wildest reality
show I've ever seen. Mark Hamill is
55
00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:25.439
chilling for Biden. This is peak
cringe. One commenter remarked, ouch,
56
00:04:25.560 --> 00:04:29.240
tell us how you really feel.
Others brought the burns with some a plus
57
00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:33.399
meme game like sharing Obi Wan declaring
Biden's actions a level of stupid not seen
58
00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:38.879
in a long time. I've got
a bad feeling about this. The President's
59
00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:42.800
critics seemed particularly irked that he'd focus
on such fluff while real issues rage,
60
00:04:43.319 --> 00:04:47.240
like the campus chaos referenced by one
pundit. Sure promote your silly Star Wars
61
00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:53.639
day when terrorism sympathizers are running rampant. And in classic Trump fan fashion,
62
00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:58.279
several made sure to get in digs
about Biden's mental aptitude, joking that he
63
00:04:58.360 --> 00:05:02.120
probably forgot filming the clip minutes while
in Delaware. No middy Chlorians to tap
64
00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:05.600
into up there, it seems.
All in all, the whole stunt was
65
00:05:05.639 --> 00:05:11.240
about as well received as stormtroopers on
most Eisley. Biden tried to channel the
66
00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:15.120
force, but to his detractors,
he ended up looking more like a stuck
67
00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:18.319
up, half witted, scruffy looking
nerf herder. Yikes, Maybe leave the
68
00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:23.319
space puns to the resistance next time. It looks like the Rolling Stone Show
69
00:05:23.319 --> 00:05:27.560
in New Orleans had a little extra
spice thanks to Sir Mick Jagger. The
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00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:32.040
eighty year old rock legend couldn't resist
taking a cheeky jab at Louisiana's conservative governor,
71
00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:38.120
Jeff Landry during the JazzFest performance.
After wrapping up the classic you Can't
72
00:05:38.120 --> 00:05:42.959
Always get what you want, Jagger
went off script with a little political commentary.
73
00:05:43.079 --> 00:05:46.319
We want to include him too,
He quipped about Landry, even if
74
00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:50.120
he wants to take us back to
the Stone Age. Ooh, sick burn
75
00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:56.199
Mick. Though he didn't specify which
of Landry's controversial policies he was referring to,
76
00:05:56.759 --> 00:06:00.920
the implications were clear, whether it
was the near total abortion band,
77
00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:05.040
blocking gender affirming care, or pushing
harsher crime sentences. Jagger seems to think
78
00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:09.959
the governor is stuck in the prehistoric
era, but never wanted to take a
79
00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:14.720
slight lying down. Landry had his
own zinger ready to fire back on social
80
00:06:14.759 --> 00:06:18.000
media. The only person who might
remember the Stone Age is Mick Jagger,
81
00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:24.399
The fifty three year old governor retorted, ooh aged rockstar jokes. How original?
82
00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:29.319
Hey, Mick is younger than the
president. Layoff. Not stopping there,
83
00:06:29.720 --> 00:06:32.839
Landry tried endearing himself to potential voters
by adding love you, buddy,
84
00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:38.639
You're always welcome in Louisiana. Hash
love my country music. Hey, now,
85
00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:41.759
no need to bring country into this. In the end, it was
86
00:06:41.879 --> 00:06:45.519
just another reminder that when the stones
roll into town. You never quite know
87
00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:48.439
what you're going to get. Portions
of this podcast may have been created with
88
00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:54.040
the help of AI, Keith Richards, or maybe even Luke Skywalker, who
89
00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:55.040
even knows any more.
1
00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:09.800
Calarogu Shark Media from Washington, DC. We're the only thing more unhinged than
2
00:00:09.800 --> 00:00:14.720
the political discourse is Governor Noam's dog
policy. This is ballot. Governor Knowam
3
00:00:14.759 --> 00:00:19.480
threatened to put down Biden's dog.
Trump held an insane VP audition circus for
4
00:00:19.559 --> 00:00:24.760
donors, The President's Star Wars panderbomb
and Mick Jagger mocked at governor's policies.
5
00:00:25.719 --> 00:00:33.799
Let's hit this. They are still
making fun of Christy Noam thinking it was
6
00:00:33.880 --> 00:00:39.640
cool to kill a puppy. Jimmy
Kimmel pointed out, that's right, It's
7
00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:43.640
an important distinction. It was a
working dog. So Noam did not shoot
8
00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:48.240
her puppy. She shot her employee. Stephen Colebear pointed out Noam claimed to
9
00:00:48.280 --> 00:00:52.840
have been around hundreds of dogs,
although before she got there it used to
10
00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:57.719
be thousands. Noam bragged in her
memoir about how she shot her fourteen month
11
00:00:57.719 --> 00:01:00.399
old puppy, as well as a
family goat, and I'll be honest,
12
00:01:00.759 --> 00:01:04.239
I was conflicted about whether or not
I should keep talking about it, because,
13
00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:10.079
unlike Christy nom I don't like beating
a dead horse. Colbert said,
14
00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:12.799
you dragged a fourteen month old puppy. To a gravel pit, shot it
15
00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:17.200
in the head, and then told
everybody you wrote it in your book.
16
00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:22.760
That's not spinning, that's reading.
Clearly, Christy Noam knows how to read
17
00:01:22.760 --> 00:01:25.560
the room. Now, she set
her sights on a much bigger target,
18
00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:30.560
President Biden's German shepherd Commander. In
a thinly veiled threat during a CBS interview,
19
00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:34.920
Noem suggested that the famously bite happy
commander should meet the same fate as
20
00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:41.159
poor cricket. Joe Biden's dog has
attacked twenty four Secret Service people, she
21
00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:45.239
snarked, So how many people is
enough people to be attacked and dangerously hurt
22
00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:49.799
before you make a decision on a
dog. Ouch, those are some sharp
23
00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.280
teeth you've got there, Christy.
I'd hate to be on the receiving end
24
00:01:53.280 --> 00:01:57.599
of one of your singers. Of
course, this all comes conveniently timed with
25
00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:01.280
the release of Nome's new memoir,
No Going Back, where she regales us
26
00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:07.040
with tales of her hunting ranch adventures. Who could forget the heartwarming story of
27
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:12.159
the time she blasted cricket in a
gravel pit because the dog was quote less
28
00:02:12.199 --> 00:02:17.800
than worthless. The would be VP
candidate even imagines a scenario where as president
29
00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:23.680
in twenty twenty five, she gets
to put Commander down herself. Commander say
30
00:02:23.719 --> 00:02:29.319
hello to cricket for me. Oh
Donald, ask yourself how in her fantasy
31
00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:34.000
she's the president when you're the one
on top of the ticket. Trump held
32
00:02:34.039 --> 00:02:37.560
a big old donor retreat down in
Florida, and let me tell you it
33
00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:40.960
was a regular who's who of political
zaniness. First up, the guest list
34
00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:46.639
reads like a rejected lineup for a
Republican Hunger Games. We've got Senators Rubio,
35
00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:50.439
Scott, and Vance, all vying
for the coveted Trump's VP role.
36
00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:54.159
Throw in governor's Burgum and Gnom and
baby, you've got a stew going.
37
00:02:54.919 --> 00:03:00.360
But don't worry. The crazy didn't
stop there. At one point, Trump
38
00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:04.360
literally called out his potential running mates
from the stage like he was picking kickball
39
00:03:04.360 --> 00:03:08.680
teams in third grade. We got
Marco, we got Tim Geez don way
40
00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:14.080
to make it not awkward at all. Then, in an absolutely iconic power
41
00:03:14.120 --> 00:03:19.319
move, Trump brought disgraced former Illinois
Governor Rod Blogoyevitch up on stage. You
42
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:23.639
know, the guy who literally tried
to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat. Yeah,
43
00:03:23.639 --> 00:03:27.199
that's the kind of top notch character
we're dealing with here. According to
44
00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:30.599
sources, Blago was just as surprised
as the rest of us to get that
45
00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:34.520
special invite. I can only imagine
the look on his face when they called
46
00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:38.719
his name, probably something like,
oh crud, do I actually have to
47
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:43.080
be VP? Now? Meanwhile,
the Trump camp was busy bragging to donors
48
00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:46.800
about raising over seventy six million dollars
last month, which sounds impressive until you
49
00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:52.759
hear that Biden's team has literally twice
that amount socked away. Yikes. Someone
50
00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:55.800
might need to hit up more MAGA
rallies to sell those dollar dollar dollar photo
51
00:03:55.840 --> 00:04:00.479
ops. All in all, just
another zany weekend with the Trump circus.
52
00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:06.319
Will Blago actually end up being VP? Will Christy Noem challenge Biden's dog commander
53
00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:11.280
to a steel cage match? Honestly, at this point, nothing would surprise
54
00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:19.759
me. This is the wildest reality
show I've ever seen. Mark Hamill is
55
00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:25.439
chilling for Biden. This is peak
cringe. One commenter remarked, ouch,
56
00:04:25.560 --> 00:04:29.240
tell us how you really feel.
Others brought the burns with some a plus
57
00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:33.399
meme game like sharing Obi Wan declaring
Biden's actions a level of stupid not seen
58
00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:38.879
in a long time. I've got
a bad feeling about this. The President's
59
00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:42.800
critics seemed particularly irked that he'd focus
on such fluff while real issues rage,
60
00:04:43.319 --> 00:04:47.240
like the campus chaos referenced by one
pundit. Sure promote your silly Star Wars
61
00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:53.639
day when terrorism sympathizers are running rampant. And in classic Trump fan fashion,
62
00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:58.279
several made sure to get in digs
about Biden's mental aptitude, joking that he
63
00:04:58.360 --> 00:05:02.120
probably forgot filming the clip minutes while
in Delaware. No middy Chlorians to tap
64
00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:05.600
into up there, it seems.
All in all, the whole stunt was
65
00:05:05.639 --> 00:05:11.240
about as well received as stormtroopers on
most Eisley. Biden tried to channel the
66
00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:15.120
force, but to his detractors,
he ended up looking more like a stuck
67
00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:18.319
up, half witted, scruffy looking
nerf herder. Yikes, Maybe leave the
68
00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:23.319
space puns to the resistance next time. It looks like the Rolling Stone Show
69
00:05:23.319 --> 00:05:27.560
in New Orleans had a little extra
spice thanks to Sir Mick Jagger. The
70
00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:32.040
eighty year old rock legend couldn't resist
taking a cheeky jab at Louisiana's conservative governor,
71
00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:38.120
Jeff Landry during the JazzFest performance.
After wrapping up the classic you Can't
72
00:05:38.120 --> 00:05:42.959
Always get what you want, Jagger
went off script with a little political commentary.
73
00:05:43.079 --> 00:05:46.319
We want to include him too,
He quipped about Landry, even if
74
00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:50.120
he wants to take us back to
the Stone Age. Ooh, sick burn
75
00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:56.199
Mick. Though he didn't specify which
of Landry's controversial policies he was referring to,
76
00:05:56.759 --> 00:06:00.920
the implications were clear, whether it
was the near total abortion band,
77
00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:05.040
blocking gender affirming care, or pushing
harsher crime sentences. Jagger seems to think
78
00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:09.959
the governor is stuck in the prehistoric
era, but never wanted to take a
79
00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:14.720
slight lying down. Landry had his
own zinger ready to fire back on social
80
00:06:14.759 --> 00:06:18.000
media. The only person who might
remember the Stone Age is Mick Jagger,
81
00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:24.399
The fifty three year old governor retorted, ooh aged rockstar jokes. How original?
82
00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:29.319
Hey, Mick is younger than the
president. Layoff. Not stopping there,
83
00:06:29.720 --> 00:06:32.839
Landry tried endearing himself to potential voters
by adding love you, buddy,
84
00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:38.639
You're always welcome in Louisiana. Hash
love my country music. Hey, now,
85
00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:41.759
no need to bring country into this. In the end, it was
86
00:06:41.879 --> 00:06:45.519
just another reminder that when the stones
roll into town. You never quite know
87
00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:48.439
what you're going to get. Portions
of this podcast may have been created with
88
00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:54.040
the help of AI, Keith Richards, or maybe even Luke Skywalker, who
89
00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:55.040
even knows any more.