Nov. 2, 2024

Kamala Harris offers up more world salad

Show Notes
Transcript

Harris had another moment shere she appeared to get stuck in a loop.

Trump promises to protect women whether they like it or not.

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Calaroga Shark Media.

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From Nevada, where word salad is one of the many

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fine options at the pre buffet. This is ballot, that's right,

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and Trump and Harris are arguing over who's is bigger.

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So let's hit this, folks.

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The campaign trail just served up another episode of when

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Heckler's Attack, starring Kamala Harris in what critics are calling

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her latest word salad performance. It's like watching someone play

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mad libs with a political speech generator. After being interrupted

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by a Heckler in Reno, Harris responded with the political

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equivalent of hitting shuffle on your playlist. She said, understand

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the difference here. So many times even her teleprompter was

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getting dizzy. It was like watching someone try to explain

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the plot of inception while riding a mechanical bull.

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Trump's team immediately.

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Pounced on this faster than Trump jumps on a truth

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social notification, with Stephen Miller declaring, she chokes every time.

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This coming from the team whose candidate once suggested we

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should inject bleach. But hey, who's keeping score? The Vice

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president told the crowd. Democracy can be complicated, sometimes it's okay, which,

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to be fair, is probably the most honest thing any

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politician has said this election cycle, though John Stewart is

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probably wondering if he can turn that into a new

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segment called democracy. It's complicated, and in a plot twist

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that nobody saw coming, Harris pledged to listen to experts

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and people who disagree with me. That's like promising to

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read the terms and conditions. We all know it sounds good,

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but let's be real here. Meanwhile, Donald Trump is out

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here giving military advice like a Call of Duty player

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who thinks he's a tactical genius because he once won

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a game on easy mode at an event in Arizona

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with Tucker Carlson, you know, the guy who got fired

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from Fox News for being two fox News. Trump went

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after Liz Cheney with all the subtlety of a monster

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truck at a China shop. Trump's suggested putting Cheney in

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front of nine barrels shooting at her, which, let's be honest,

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is a pretty extreme way to settle a political disagreement.

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It's like he's pitching ideas for the Hunger Game's congressional addition.

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And get this, he called.

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Her a radical warhawk while literally fantasizing about putting her

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in the line of fire. That's like calling someone a

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food critic while force feeding them a hot pocket. Speaking

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of hot takes, our boy was on quite a roll.

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He took shots at Kamala Harris and went after Adam

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Shiff's looks, because nothing says presidential material like a grown

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man doing a mean girl's routine on stage. But wait,

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there's more. Trump also claimed that if Ronald Reagan came

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back from the dead, which let's face it, would be

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a more normal headline than what we usually get these days,

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he'd only draw like three hundred people to a rally.

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First of all, zombie Reagan would definitely draw bigger crowds

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than that. And second, Trump's obviously never heard of the

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phrase quality over quantity, And in classic Trump fashion, he

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couldn't resist bragg about his crowd sizes, claiming he gets

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fifty sixty seventy eighty ninety one hundred thousand people. You

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know what they say, The bigger the claim, the harder

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the fact checkers roll their eyes. We've got a real

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battle of the crowd sizes brewing. Kamala Harris just couldn't

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resist poking the bear, or in this case, the very

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sensitive former president about her recent rally drawing one hundred

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thousand people. Now, Trump's been known to measure his rallies

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like a fisherman, measures his catch with a lot of

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creative math and a dash of you should have seen

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the one that got away. But Harris decided to play

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his game, breaking into a laugh that probably had Trump

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reaching for his truth social posting finger faster than you

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can say, Stormy Daniels under measures the fun part. Harvard's

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own crowd counting experts backed up Harris's numbers.

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That's right.

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Somewhere in Cambridge, there's actually a person whose job it

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is to count crowds. Meanwhile, Trump held closing argument at

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Madison Square Garden, which holds about nineteen thy five hundred people.

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Though to be fair, that's not counting all the invisible

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supporters he usually includes in his counts. Donald Trump is

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out here promising to protect women, whether they like it

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or not, which is exactly what his lawyer probably told

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him not to.

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Say in the Egen Carol case.

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I guess when you're facing that many lawsuits, you just

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start collecting catchphrases from them.

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You know who wasn't impressed. Kamala Harris.

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She called his comments very offensive, which is actually pretty

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mild considering Trump's track record of treating women like their

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contestants on a reality show called America's Next Top Lawsuit.

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Get this, Trump actually.

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Admitted his advisers begged him to stop saying he'll protect women.

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Apparently even his own team was like, sir, maybe cool

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it with the creepy protector vibes. But Trump, being Trump,

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basically said hold my diet coke and doubled down harder

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than he doubles down on his spray Tan appointments. Speaking

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of protective, Tim Walls, Yes, our very own Minnesota governor

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jumped in to remind everyone about that infamous Access Hollywood tape.

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You remember, the one where Trump treated consent like it

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was optional DLC in a video game. Wall said women

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are gonna send Trump a message on November fifth, whether

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he likes it or not.

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See what he did there.

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That's what we in the business call turning the tables, folks.

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That's some spicy political karma. Trump's campaign spokesperson, Caroline Levitt

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came out swinging, saying Trump is loved by millions of women. Yeah,

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and I'm loved by millions of dollars. They're just all

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in my imagination. Like Trump's grasp on appropriate comments about women,

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you know what's really wild.

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Trump wrote on truth Social which.

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Is basically Twitter for people who got kicked off Twitter,

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that women will be happy, healthy, confident, and free. He

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wrote it in all caps, because nothing says I respect

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women like yelling at them through social media. Ladies and gentlemen,

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we've got a guy who's been found liable for sexual

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abuse telling women he'll protect them whether they want it

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or not. That's like a bull offering to protect your

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china shop. Thanks, but we'll take our chances with the

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insurance policy. I'm Mac Davies here, saving democracy one joke

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at a time. Portions of today's program were created with

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the help of AI