Aug. 30, 2024

Kamala Harris' Boring Overhyped CNN Interview Recap

Show Notes
Transcript

CNN's hyped pre-taped intereviw with Kamala Harris was a snooze

The Army is unhappy with Trump

Swifities for Harris

A new Reagan movie!

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WEBVTT

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Calaroga Shark Media from Georgia, where Kamala Harris's interview was

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even more boring than season two of Rings of Power.

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That's a joke for the nerds out there. This is valid.

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That's right, and I could have pre taped today and

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had a nice long weekend, but know the Democrats had

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to make me work on the last summer Friday. That

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alone might get me to vote for Trump at least.

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His craziness is kind of evergreen, as you'll see on Monday,

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if you know what I mean. Anyway, let's hit this well, folks.

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Vice President Kamala Harris just gave an interview on CNN,

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and let me tell you, I haven't been that bored

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since my crazy ex girlfriend Norma told me all about

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her yoga class. Anyway, our esteemed VP was asked about

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her evolving policy positions, and she responded with all the

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clarity of a mud puddle in a rainstorm. Apparently her

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values haven't changed, but her policies have done more flip

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flops than a politician at a pancake breakfast. Harris explained

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her stance on climate change, saying they've applied metrics that

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include holding ourselves to deadlines around time. Wow, what a

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revolutionary concept, using time to measure deadlines.

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Who would have thought.

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She then went on to discuss border security, reminding us

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all that she was once the Attorney general of California,

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because nothing says I'm tough on border security like reminiscing

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about your old job. But the real gem was when

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Harris declared, my values have not changed.

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Well, that's a relief.

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I was worried she might have suddenly developed a taste

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for pineapple on pizza or something equally controversial. Harris is

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hugging Biden's policy legacy tighter than a kid with their

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favorite Teddy Bear. She's selling Biden's accomplishments like a used

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car salesman trying to offload a ninety two Pontiac with character.

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But don't worry.

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She's also promising a new way forward, because nothing says

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fresh start like four more years of the same old

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song and dance. Right, Harris is hunting for Republican votes

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like a vegan at a steakhouse. She's even thinking about

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putting a Republican in her cabinet. I guess she figures,

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if you can't beat him, hire them. When it comes

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to talking about her race and gender. Harris would rather

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discuss the finer points of watching paint dry. She shut

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down Trump's comments faster than a teenager closes their laptop

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when their parents walk in same old tired playbook.

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She said, next question, please ouch.

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I haven't seen a shutdown that fast since my last

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attempt at dating Cheryl Hines. But Folks, when it comes

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to off the cuff answers, Harris still struggles more.

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Than a cat in a bathtub.

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She gave an answer about Biden stepping down that was

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longer than the line at the DMV and about as

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clear as mud. Meanwhile, Tim Walls, well, he's mastered the

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art of sitting and smiling.

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He went a full eight minutes without speaking, Which governor, Walls?

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If this election doesn't work out, would you mind teaching

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my crazy ex girlfriend Norma how to go eight seconds

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without speaking. I've seen Mannekins with more screen presence than

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Tim Walls. Donald Trump seems to be auditioning for a

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one man show called How Many Insults Can I Fit?

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In a Month?

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He's been slinging words at Kamala Harris like he's trying

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to win a prize at the State Fair.

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Whack job communist, dumb as a rock.

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It's like he's playing insult bingo and trying to fill

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the whole card. And let's not forget the creative spelling

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kamabla instead of kamala.

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So picture this. JD.

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Vance, the GOP's vice presidential hopeful, decides to tell Vice

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President Kamala Harris to go to hell. Now you might

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be thinking what could possibly warrant such a warm and

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fuzzy message. Well, hold onto your hats, because the answer

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is absolutely nothing.

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That's right, folks.

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Vance told Harris to take a trip to the underworld

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over some criticism that wait for it, never actually happened.

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It's like getting mad at your neighbor for borrowing your

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lawnmower when you don't even own one.

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Talk about tilting at windmills. But wait, there's more.

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When asked if he'd apologize to the Arlington cemetery worker

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who was pushed aside faster than a salad at a

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burger joint, Vance said, nah, I'm good. Apparently, in Vance's world,

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saying sorry is harder than finding a snowball in well,

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you know where.

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You may recall, the Trump campaign.

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Decided to turn a somber visit to honor fallen soldiers

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into a TikTok extravaganza, because nothing says respecting the troops

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quite like using their graves as a backdrop for your

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campaign video.

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Right now, the Army's not too pleased about this.

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They've issued a statement that's about as subtle as a

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foghorn in a library.

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Turns out there are.

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These pesky little things called federal laws and Army regulations

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that frown upon turning sacred ground into a political stage.

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Who knew, Well, it looks like we've got ourselves a

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political ping pong match over Amendment four. First up, we've

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got the vote no on four campaign tap dancing around

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Trump's apparent support like it's a minefield at a square dance.

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They're busy reminding us that Trump's not a fan of

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late term abortions, because nothing says we're ignoring the elephant

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in the room quite like pointing at a giraffe.

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Am I right?

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Meanwhile, the Amendment four folks are playing the it's not political,

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it's personal card. They're saying abortion is as nonpartisan as

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a potluck dinner. Sure, and I bet pigs will fly

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coach class any day. Now Trump's doing his best impression

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of a political chameleon, trying to change colors on abortion

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faster than a mood ring in a sauna. He's now

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all about making IVF free free IVF. Next thing, you know,

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he'll be promising free puppies and rainbows for everyone. Let's

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look at the world of Swifties for Kamala, where the

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only thing more confusing than their name is their actual

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connection to Taylor Swift. These folks are like the political

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equivalent of that friend who claims they know a guy

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who knows a guy, except in this case, the guy

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that doesn't actually know them back. It's like they're throwing

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a party for Taylor Swift, but Taylor Swift forgot to

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RSVP or even receive an invitation. Now, don't get me wrong,

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these Swifties are working harder than a cat trying to

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bury its business on a marble floor. They've got Carol

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King belting out Shake it Off like it's a campaign jingle,

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and more senators than you can shake a microphone at.

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But let's be real, the only thing missing from the

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Swift theme soiree is well Swift herself. You've got to

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admire their dedication though. They're like those folks who dress

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up as Elvis and get married in Vegas. Sure the

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King isn't there, but by golly, they're gonna make it

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work anyway. And let's talk about that disclaimer not affiliated

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with Taylor Swift. It's like they're trying to break up

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with someone they've never actually dated. It's not you, Taylor,

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it's us. We're just not not together. Not Maybe I'll

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go see a movie this weekend with Kate. We've got

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this new Reagan biopic hit theaters, directed by none other

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than Sean McNamara. You might know him from such cinematic

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masterpieces as Three Ninjas, High Noon at Mega Mountain and

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Baby Geniuses in the Space Baby, I mean, with credentials

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like that, how could this possibly go wrong? This two

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hour snooze fest has been collecting dust for four years.

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Apparently even the film reels were trying to escape. It's

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less of a biography and more of a love letter

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to Reagan that would make even Cupid blush.

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The movie kicks off with.

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The assassination attempt on Reagan, because nothing says feel good

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movie like starting with a shooting. Right then we're treated

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to Dennis Quaid, playing a thirty year old Reagan, talk

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about suspend your disbelief. I've seen better age regression in

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Benjamin Button. And let's not forget John Voyt's Russian accent.

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It's so thick you could spread it on a slice

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of bread and call it Borsht. He spends most of

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the movie looking like he just saw a bear riding

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a unicycle while juggling vodka bottles. The film paints Reagan

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as God's chosen warrior in a battle of good versus evil.

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I guess in this version, God's plan involves trickle down

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economics in Iran contra. Oh, and apparently Reagan knew more

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about politics than Nixon and JFK combined?

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Who knew?

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I guess all those hours watching Bedtime for Bonzo really

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paid off. The movie even manages to squeeze in a

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cameo from Scott's staff as Frank Sinatra, because nothing says

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historical accuracy like the lead singer of Creed pretending to

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be Old Blue Eyes. In the end, this film is

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about as subtle as a sledgehammer wrapped in the American flag.

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It's so syrupy sweet you might need an insolent.

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Shot after watching.

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So there you have it, folks, Reagan coming soon to

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a theater near you, or if you're lucky, straight to

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the bargain bin at your local gas station.

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And right on CUE.

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I just got some crazy texts, Kate, for real, have

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fun with that, you trader Kate in the Movies? You

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must really be desperate for company? Is your podcast even

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made with the help of AI? Does Kate know about that?

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A real old man would write his own scripts. Kate

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the Movies, OMG, are you out of your mind?

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Well? I was for about a year.